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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I asked my guest to leave my home.

999 replies

bubblesdrew · 02/01/2018 22:44

We built a house a couple of fields away from some neighbours.

I met the husband at the local shop a couple of months after we got settled & after some chat asked if him and his wife would like to join us, friends & family for a New Years Eve dinner.

His wife and himself arrived that night and they were initially great. During conversation she asked for a tour of the house and I said no (not in a rude way). 20 minutes later she said again that she would like a tour of the house and again I said no. Then a THIRD time she asked and at that point my husband stepped in and said that there wouldn't be a tour.

She used the bathroom numerous times in the night which is located under the stairs. My niece was in our room at the top of the stairs past the closet which eventually leads into the master bedroom.

This woman had climbed the stairs later in the night when she asked to be excused for the bathroom went through my closet and into the master bedroom. My niece flew down and told my husband who marched upstairs and quietly asked her to leave. She claimed she was lost but, she had used the bottom bathroom all night!!
Should I have given her a tour or was she being completely unreasonable?

OP posts:
2cats2many · 02/01/2018 23:24

Fingers crossed you don't meet them in the shop again.

Weird all round. All of it.

PaxUniversalis · 02/01/2018 23:24

@Clitoria

I agree with you 100%.

Some people have no manners.

kaytee87 · 02/01/2018 23:24

It's a way to make new friends!

Didn't work out very well did it Grin

I also think it's weird that you wouldn't show her around, after all you invited her to your house, she didn't just turn up on the doorstep (I'm Scottish, maybe there is something in that). She was very unreasonable to nosey around though.

BMW6 · 02/01/2018 23:25

Mumsnet. Where posters are told constantly that 'no is a complete sentence', until someone uses no as a complete sentence and then they are rude.

Bloody brilliant Grin

TheVanguardSix · 02/01/2018 23:26

I've never understood the 'tour of the house' thing. Why would anyone ask for a tour of a house?
That is rude.

Odd behaviour on your guest's part. Glad you said 'no'.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 02/01/2018 23:26

I don't get why anyone would ask for a tour in the first place. It's very ill-mannered

It must be a cultural thing. It really is not that peculiar north of Hadrian's wall.

mayaknew · 02/01/2018 23:26

Did you move in from a different area op?

I ask because in my neck of the woods it's standard that when you are in someone's new house for the first time you get a tour. It would be unusual not to give one. That's not to say ywbu not to, just around here it would be unusual.

pemberleypearl · 02/01/2018 23:26

I don't know why a guest would ask for a tour, or why a host would offer one. I have no desire too see what my neighbours bedroom looks like or how they've arranged their furniture.

BagelGoesWalking · 02/01/2018 23:26

I would obviously be interested to see someone's new house, especially if they'd built it themselves BUT if my request was turned down once, why would I ask again? I would just assume there was a good reason and leave it at that.

pinkdelight · 02/01/2018 23:26

Another one here who thinks tours are fine, and especially in a situation where all you have in common is that you're neighbours and hence all they really know about you is that you've built this house, which is an interesting thing, hence they were interested. It's not weird, and it's odd for you to be so hospitable as to randomly invite them to a NYE dinner but so cagey about showing them around. That said, she shouldn't have snooped.

BumWad · 02/01/2018 23:26

Weird that you declined a tour of your house 3 times. Why? Confused

Even weirder is that she went wandering!

You were both unreasonable

LineysRumBaba · 02/01/2018 23:27

Leave Hexham out of this.

bubblesdrew · 02/01/2018 23:27

I have never came from a family that have given tours and maybe this is normal for some and not us.

I just didn't want to give a tour. It's my home and I was having a great night around the table enjoying my friends and family and I was a bit surprised she had asked (Not in a bad way but, I didn't think people would want to see) and didn't feel compelled to show her around. I think she seen plenty of the house from the entrance in and the rest was just bedrooms and closets and bathrooms!

OP posts:
mayaknew · 02/01/2018 23:27

Kaytee I'm Scottish too !! I've never been to someone's house and not been offered a tour😂

PaxUniversalis · 02/01/2018 23:27

@TammySwansonTwo
But it's a bit odd to confine guests to the downstairs of your house and reject them having a look around, I think.

Why??? If they're coming round for drinks/food/nibbles then the only rooms of interest to them are the reception rooms and the bathroom/loo NOT the bedrooms.
My house is not a museum where people can just wander around.

Kitsharrington · 02/01/2018 23:28

I think it’s weirder to say no tour than it is to ask for one.

scaryteacher · 02/01/2018 23:28

But it's a bit odd to confine guests to the downstairs of your house Why? If everything they need, food, drink, the loo etc is downstairs why would they need to go upstairs unless they were staying? I don't people wandering through my dressing room or my bedroom thanks, or rifling through the contents of the family room upstairs.

I don't want them in the cellar either.

bubblesdrew · 02/01/2018 23:29

I think I was very hospitable the whole night but, she had clearly been told three times no. I couldn't have been anymore clear and I just think that should have been respected instead of snooping.

OP posts:
Snowdrop18 · 02/01/2018 23:29

OP yanbu and she sounds crazy, I'd keep out of her way in future
I'm utterly baffled at anyone thinking a tour is a reasonable request
WTAF.

kaytee87 · 02/01/2018 23:29

One of my friends has even given someone else a tour of my house when I was pouring drinks 😂

NoqontroI · 02/01/2018 23:31

Yanbu to not give a tour. It's your private space. If you want to show others round then it's up to you. But you don't bloody have to. I wouldn't personally.

marypoppinsagain · 02/01/2018 23:31

I would never give a tour!!!! It's just an invasion of privacy and I would never dream of asking either! So rude

bubblesdrew · 02/01/2018 23:31

I do wish now someone would want to come and tour my living room!!! Just got my sofas delivered today.

OP posts:
LassWiTheDelicateAir · 02/01/2018 23:32

It's not weird, and it's odd for you to be so hospitable as to randomly invite them to a NYE dinner but so cagey about showing them around. That said, she shouldn't have snooped

Yes indeed. Sorry OP but you and she both sound quite weird to me. She for the persistent asking and the snooping but not the initial request.

tonysopranostherapist · 02/01/2018 23:32

A good friend of mine insisted on a 'tour' of my (very boring 3 bedroom) house and then got snotty with me because there were knickers on the airer in the spare room.

Confused

Why yes, I live here and wash my clothes here.