I asked my guest to leave my home.

[bubblesdrew]

We built a house a couple of fields away from some neighbours.

I met the husband at the local shop a couple of months after we got settled & after some chat asked if him and his wife would like to join us, friends & family for a New Years Eve dinner.

His wife and himself arrived that night and they were initially great. During conversation she asked for a tour of the house and I said no (not in a rude way). 20 minutes later she said again that she would like a tour of the house and again I said no. Then a THIRD time she asked and at that point my husband stepped in and said that there wouldn't be a tour.

She used the bathroom numerous times in the night which is located under the stairs. My niece was in our room at the top of the stairs past the closet which eventually leads into the master bedroom.

This woman had climbed the stairs later in the night when she asked to be excused for the bathroom went through my closet and into the master bedroom. My niece flew down and told my husband who marched upstairs and quietly asked her to leave. She claimed she was lost but, she had used the bottom bathroom all night!!
Should I have given her a tour or was she being completely unreasonable?

Why are some of you so nebby,that you need a tour of a house
Rubberneckers

A tour? Who does that?

Clearly people who live in Scotland.

PaxUniversalis nothing smutty, just a chance to see how big the rooms are and what colour carpets etc. I’m surprised that people are surprised tbh.

@LipstickHandbagCoffee
Why are some of you so nebby,that you need a tour of a house
Rubberneckers

So that they can go gossiping afterwards.

I don’t live in Scotland, but in NW England

Touché @LassWiTheDelicateAir

Just the nebby folk in Scotland,the heidbangers
Normal folk make small talk,have a gab and go

What, no TOUR?! A new sofa you say?!! 👀 YWBU. A Tour is part of the deal OP! I think I must be Scottish!

Gossiping about what though? Paint choices?

Btw i am scottish amd have only had a tour in the houses of closest friends when they moved house. Nobody else and i never presumed to ask acquaintances when they moved houses.

Totally normal in Scotland, I didn't realise this wasn't the case in the rest of Britain! My sister gave me a tour of her new house in England via Skype when she first moved in. Place was a cowp as they hadn't finished unpacking but the tour is important.
However, if the tour is refused, it's not to be requested again. You then discuss it at a later date with fellow refuseders (?) with raised eyebrows

I'm in Scotland and am used to the idea of "a wee tour" especially of a new house.
That said, I'd never ask, I'd think it was very rude to ask and I think the host/OP is perfectly entitled to refuse a CF who asks.

I can’t believe no one has yet linked to Larry from Curb Your Enthusiasm and the freak of fuckin nature doesn’t wanna a house tour

You are obviously wrong MrsJack - other Scottish posters have said this is not usual in their circle......HTH

Had extensive work done on my place,nobody got a tour
No tours,no coachload of rubber neckin rellies

I'm also scottish and see it As quite normal, hence my earlier post that it wouldn't have bothered me.

However I now live in the south east of England and I always get asked by people, English people at that, but I live in a very old listed building so suspect that's got something to do with it.

However even being Scottish if the host says no, you don't ask twice more then go on your own, that's shocking bad manners. I suspect she was over come by the green eyed monster.

I am genuinely surprised at the vehemence of the my house is private/I'm such a private person responses.

My experience is people want to show off new build/ renovation and will offer a tour. If they don't offer it is because they don't want to be seen to be showy-off, not that they aren't pleased to be showy-off when asked.

@SlowlyShrinking
I would find it an invasion of my privacy, especially people looking around the bedrooms. Also I'm not a very tidy person so I'd find the snooping around stressful and embarrassing.
I'd find it rude to be asked.

@cakeflower you said you were rude not to give a tour. Unless you had a good reason and explained it.

Are you off your trolley? Why on earth should anyone feel obliged to let their dinner guests go round their house including private bedrooms??!! It’s not rude at all, it’s HER HOME not a fucking zoo. You’re deranged if you think every time you go to someone’s house you are entitled to look wherever you want!!

I'm unsure of the etiquette here with this touring malarky.

So if someone offers you a tour of their house, is it rude to turn them down?

I'm guessing it would be rude so I'd go along with it, even though I'd be cringing for them inside. I'd make all the 'Ooohs and aaahs' in the right places (hopefully) and try not to feel like the host has inexplicably turned into an Estate Agent for 10 minutes

BMW6
You are obviously wrong MrsJack - other Scottish posters have said this is not usual in their circle......HTH

Have they ? I may have missed one but the posters in Scotland have said it is normal- the snooping around was out of order.

"Would you like a tour of my house?"
"No thanks, I'm fine"

Not rude.

So if someone offers you a tour of their house, is it rude to turn them down?

Extremely rude.

YANBU! And of course it's not rude to not give a tour.

Why should you let anyone, let alone people you don't know very well sneak a peek at your rooms/possessions, ultimately what should be your personal 'safe space'? Spying at your lifestyle/cleaning prowess/bank statements/sex toys/whatever you might have left lying around. The only advantage I can see of giving a quick tour is that might minimise the risk of them trying to have a peek round on their own - but what kind of person would do that? Would not ever have that person in my house again. Might be jumping to conclusions to think bunny boiler etc. but someone who's just curious would surely not be so impertinent as to explore on their own. And what if e.g. your niece had been naked? Good job she was there I think so that you found out!

@SlowlyShrinking
Gossiping about what though? Paint choices?

Levels of tidiness, clutter, stuff, personal belongings, paperwork in my study such as bank/mortgage/pension statements and so on are things for my eyes only.