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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP laughed at his DD falling off horse

208 replies

StubbyNosedCreatures · 02/01/2018 13:09

I've been really put off DP.

Took his DD (12) and my DS (9) horse riding. Neither had done it before and were in a class of around 6. So the class starts and the horses plod around the school like they do then his DDs horse starts trotting and starts getting rather fast. She wasn't supposed to be trotting at this point, the horse had just decided to spice things up a bit. The instructor shouted instructions at her about slowing down the horse but she didn't have a clue what to do. The trot got faster and faster until instructor starts shouting to pull back on the reigns otherwise the horse would break into a canter. DSD looks visibly terrified. DP is creased up laughing. Nobody else is laughing. All of the other horses had stopped still at this point and all attention was on DSD and this crazy horse. Then inevitably the horse breaks into a canter and starts flying around the school in circles getting faster and faster. Instructor gives up trying to get her to control it sndbjust shouts "hold on to the saddle! Don't panic!". Then DSD plummets to the ground. The horse continues to fly around on its own. DSD remains on the floor. Nobody knows if she's injured or not as nobody can get near her because the horse is still flying past every few seconds. I turn to DP expecting to have to reassure him and he's laughing so much he has tears rolling down his face. He saw my face and then choked through laughing "oh god is she ok?? Oh god hahaha".

Long story short, horse eventually gets bored of the carry on and brings itself into the centre of the room to signify that the class was over. DSD gets up. She's fine. DP laughs at her and said "why didn't you just get up??" So she screamed back at him "because there was a horse running past me every few seconds and I thought it was going to trample me!! Are you stupid?". He then tells her off for being cheeky.

It's really put me off him. He's. fuckwit isnt he?

OP posts:
formerbabe · 02/01/2018 13:10

Omg! That's really awful...yanbu.

Believeitornot · 02/01/2018 13:10

Yanbu especially as it is his own daughter 😨

I would tell him I found it awful behaviour

TheGhostsOfPresidentsYetToCome · 02/01/2018 13:11

Yep total childish fuckwit. Glad she’s okay.

Grimmfebruary · 02/01/2018 13:11

Poor girl! That must have been terrifying for you to watch. He’s an absolute arse.

BakedBeans47 · 02/01/2018 13:11

YANBU

he sounds like a prick.

DillyDilly · 02/01/2018 13:11

He is.

Wouldn’t be impressed with the horse riding place either.

KiteMarked · 02/01/2018 13:12

Awful behaviour.

MinorRSole · 02/01/2018 13:12

He's a dick

The riding school is useless too

Lastoftheusernames · 02/01/2018 13:13

At best he's an immature twat but I think you're right to think this is a red flag and he's probably a twat in many other ways. Get rid.

kaitlinktm · 02/01/2018 13:13

Yes, I'm afraid he is. I wonder if he would have found it so hilarious if she had been kicked in the head? I expect he would have done the same if your DS had fallen.

Hatsoffdear · 02/01/2018 13:13

I would have been terrified both watching and in your dsd place. He sounds horrible op. Unkind and thick.

YellowFlower201 · 02/01/2018 13:13

Disgusting behaviour! I think you need to tell him and her what you think of his actions

DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 02/01/2018 13:13

Urgh!! What a bastard. He sounds very like my exp. he bought our DC a stupid motorbike thing (we were already separated, I had no idea) and filmed my eldest (then 8) going round his back garden on it. Then You hear DS saying “I want off, my arms are sore” but exp tells him to keep going and films him while he crashes into the fence. Exp bursts out laughing while still filming. He thought it was so funny he sent it to me. Hmm

Hope your DSD hasn’t been put off horses for life. But with a Dad like that I can’t see her getting much support to try again.

TheSockGoblin · 02/01/2018 13:14

That's horrible behaviour. It is true that some people laugh out of nervousness / fear - but his reaction afterwards doesn't seem to indicate this was what it was. More a total lack of empathy or concern for his own daughter's safety.

Not surprised it's put you off him - what do you think your next steps will be?

Cheekyandfreaky · 02/01/2018 13:15

He sounds horrible, poor girl. I assume you live together? I hope if you split, DSD is mainly at mums. I would tell her, maybe DSD doesn’t want to see him and his ex could ensure she is protected from him.

I assume this is the tip of the iceberg with regards to his lack of respect towards her but perhaps I’m projecting.

Rainbowmother · 02/01/2018 13:15

Before you break up with him please assure dsd that she did the right thing and her dad shouldn't have laughed at her

Nancydru · 02/01/2018 13:15

Is he stable otherwise?

Doublechocolatetiffin · 02/01/2018 13:15

He sounds awful as does the riding school. Why on earth were they not on a lead reign?

ScreamingValenta · 02/01/2018 13:16

Completely heartless and idiotic - I would say the same even if it had been a random child in the class, let alone his own daughter.

Cheekyandfreaky · 02/01/2018 13:16

Just want to add, am glad his dd has you as a DSM who can show sympathy to her.

Zaphodsotherhead · 02/01/2018 13:16

This is how my DP would be too (we have no children and mine are grown up). He has told me himself (as part of his ASD assessment) that he lacks empathy and finds disasters/crashes/accidents 'funny' in a cartoonish sort of way. He cannot empathise with anyone involved in such an event, he can only relate to it in how it involves him. Your DP sounds a bit like this. As though he was watching a 'Candid Camera' type of film, rather than worrying about his DD.

Soubriquet · 02/01/2018 13:17

That is terrible

I'm one of those who laughs really easily at others in pain (such as falling over) I don't want to laugh but I can't help it sometimes.

Even this wouldn't have made me laugh. I would have been very concerned

Willow2017 · 02/01/2018 13:19

What a total arse. He has no idea how dangerous horses can be and to think its funny to have your dd lying on the ground while a horse is roaring past her with the potential to run over her is beyond belief.

I wouldnt go back to the riding stable either. How on earth did they expect her as a total novice to control a runaway horse? Why didnt the instructor stop it as soon as it started to speed up?

I would be leaving syrong feedback with the stables and having strong words with dp as well. She could have neen seriously injured and he just laughed!

TabbyCat864 · 02/01/2018 13:20

That's awful.

I think the only time for laughing in this sort of situation is weeks after when everyone is okay with thinking back in a lighthearted way.

Has he ever done this sort of thing before? Laughed when your DSD/DS have been in danger/hurt?

LackOfAdhesiveDucks · 02/01/2018 13:20

No, of course YANBU.

It’s obviously very scary to be on a horse that’s out of control and I’m sure even though she wasn’t hurt that she was terrified. I don’t know how anyone could possibly think that was funny. I say this as someone who owns two horses and has laughed at myself and others falling off in the past but it’s never funny when it’s a young, inexperienced child who is clearly scared.