DP laughed at his DD falling off horse

[StubbyNosedCreatures]

I've been really put off DP.

Took his DD (12) and my DS (9) horse riding. Neither had done it before and were in a class of around 6. So the class starts and the horses plod around the school like they do then his DDs horse starts trotting and starts getting rather fast. She wasn't supposed to be trotting at this point, the horse had just decided to spice things up a bit. The instructor shouted instructions at her about slowing down the horse but she didn't have a clue what to do. The trot got faster and faster until instructor starts shouting to pull back on the reigns otherwise the horse would break into a canter. DSD looks visibly terrified. DP is creased up laughing. Nobody else is laughing. All of the other horses had stopped still at this point and all attention was on DSD and this crazy horse. Then inevitably the horse breaks into a canter and starts flying around the school in circles getting faster and faster. Instructor gives up trying to get her to control it sndbjust shouts "hold on to the saddle! Don't panic!". Then DSD plummets to the ground. The horse continues to fly around on its own. DSD remains on the floor. Nobody knows if she's injured or not as nobody can get near her because the horse is still flying past every few seconds. I turn to DP expecting to have to reassure him and he's laughing so much he has tears rolling down his face. He saw my face and then choked through laughing "oh god is she ok?? Oh god hahaha".

Long story short, horse eventually gets bored of the carry on and brings itself into the centre of the room to signify that the class was over. DSD gets up. She's fine. DP laughs at her and said "why didn't you just get up??" So she screamed back at him "because there was a horse running past me every few seconds and I thought it was going to trample me!! Are you stupid?". He then tells her off for being cheeky.

It's really put me off him. He's. fuckwit isnt he?

The exact same happened to my daughter.
It was terrifying.
Thankfully she was fine but never ridden since.
I don't understand how anyone can find it amusing.
Maybe it was just a reaction to disguise his fear???

That's why a total beginner should have someone else to physically control the horse - either on the lunge or a lead rein. So they can concentrate on finding their balance and the horse doesn't get socked in the mouth, booted in the ribs or bounced around on like a trampoline. Two complete beginners in a lesson of six is just asking for trouble. Of course everyone falls off, but that's no reason to act in ways that actually increase the odds of it happening.

To those who are unaware, can I gently point out that horse-riding is one of the most dangerous sports you can do. Christopher Reeve - an experienced rider - was paralysed when he came off his horse. A horse out of control is a very large, heavy, dangerous creature.

I disagree. The best thing to do when someone falls off is laugh it off and get straight back on again. Falling off is part and parcel of getting on a horse. Kids bounce. Honestly, every time I fell off as a kid, we laughed it off. That's far better than the parent who goes all panicky and fussy...that just makes the kid cry more.
(And it's funny when people fall off...everyone who gets on a horse accepts being the butt of the joke at some point!)

Yes, he is a fuckwit, he wasn't even trying to help her when she was on the ground/checking. I'm presuming you haven't been with him long and haven't seen him in different situations before. This would be a real turn-off.

He is an unfeeling twat!

Such stuff happens at riding schools. Not often, but sometimes the ponies just decide they've had enough. Even the most placid, perfect schooling pony can have its moment. They aren't toys. Everyone falls off eventually.

If your S/DC want to go back have a chat with the instructor. get some reassurance that they have dealt with the issue. If you aren't reassured, go somewhere else - where you S/DCs will probably fall off again, at some point. But you/they need to feel comfortable about it.

And again, your DP is a total twat! I hope his DD gets an apology from him. Though it sounds as though she is well able to tell him when to get off

Poor kid and no you are definitely not BU

Falling off is part and parcel of horse riding. If you don't want to fall off, don't ride. It was insensitive to laugh but it sounds like the DD was a bit of a drama queen. The horse was less likely to trample her if she was standing up, but really horses don't like to trample people, they will avoid it of they can.

This is true - she would've been much better to get to her feet. However, as a novice, she may well not have been aware of this.

The bigger problem is the riding school's attitude - not having beginners on a lead rein, and on a potentially unsuitable horse (plus, the RI should have been with the daughter, preventing her from being run over and assessing if she needed medical assistance while she was on the ground, assuming this horse was loose for several minutes to be doing laps).

The DP... Bit odd. People do react strangely to this sort of stuff though. I've certainly laughed at people falling off horses - but only when it's the sort of fall which happens in slow motion and doesn't hurt anyone, or in retrospect at a spectacular dismount where you know the rider is fine after.

He sounds like a bit of a twat, but could it have been nerves? I had a friend who used to start laughing at awful times. He guffawed all the way through a funeral once. He felt dreadfully ashamed but couldn't stop - it's like he has a faulty connection somewhere in his brain.

Glad to hear DSD is OK - could have been a much worse outcome.

I would pull him up on the laughing AND telling DSD off.. he owes her an apology.

I have to be honest I can be a horrid parent and probably laughed to start with but not if they had fallen off.

sarahj that's awful thank goodness for your teacher. That must have been so painful not to mention confusing for you.

I couldn't stay with a man like this op.

Kids bounce
Except the ones that break their back or hit their heads. But haha that would be hilarious and character building right?

What a dick. Anyone who would laugh in that situation isn't anyone I'd want to spend time with.

Don't they teach them how to stop before they teach them how to go? Seems odd.
And yes what a completely nasty man.

wrenika I sort of agree, laugh it off yes, absolutely the best thing to do. Laugh until you cry? Maybe not!

Doesn't sound like an ideal set up riding school wise! Is it BHS approved?

Although this situation isn't unusual in a more advanced class and falling inside in a school provides a softer landing (hopefully) than elsewhere, your dp's reaction was a bit off I think.

I am always inwardly anxious when my dd rides (I am doing so now as it happens) but it's obviously sensible not to show you are anxious (until you know for sure someone is hurt). But your dp shouldn't have belittled his dd on her first attempt, it was unkind to do so, especially as it sounds she did everything right by staying sock still until the horse had calmed down!

What an absolute dick to laugh at someone falling off a horse but for it to be his own daughter he is laughing at thats just fucking evil she could of seriously injured herself

There are some times when it can help to make light of a topple from a horse or pony if no harm is done, so fear doesn't set in, but this is not one of those times and neither was it anywhere near as hilarious as your DP seemed to find it. I do hope she is OK. It would be sad if she were hurt or put off forever.

The riding school was negligent in my professional opinion - all beginners should be led or have one-to-one teaching until they have learned and are confident with the basic means of controlling the horse and far too many riding schools cut costs by overfilling groups or are arrogant enough to think this is is acceptable to have groups of complete novices with too few helpers/ leaders and take chances with other people's safety (and make the instructor take unaccpetable risks)

An accident like this is sadly entirely forseeable - yes horses can be unpredictable and take-off at times, even trained ones, but having un-led beginners and novices who have not even been taught basic skills is an accident waiting to happen and I personally decided to stop teaching in riding schools because so many are ignorant and/or arrogant and it made me angry and very nervous for my pupils.. and myself and the horses. Its harrowing for a decent teacher to be in that position against their better judgment - people like your DP though clearly are not affected...

It is not your AIBU, but I do actually think you should sue the owner of the school as if no one does, this risk taking will never stop. It needs to be made clear to people that one-to one or being led by a capable handler in a group of up to 4 (less for small children, and preferably one-to-one) is expensive but absolutely necessary at the beginning.

As for your DP, he sounds like he is pretty thick if he cannot tell the difference between fun or falling of a bike and someting out of control and dangerous. Is he always lacking in empathy? Well done her for answering him back though, and hardly surprisng with all that adrenaline. Hope she will be OK.

Ugh that's so far from a normal reaction that he sounds almost sociopathic.

There is a vast difference between jollying a child along after a fall, once you have ascertained they are not injured and guffawing helplessly at their fear as the horse speeds up, then laughing at the sight of them motionless on the ground

My mum has laughed at me sometimes when I've had falls (from the horse) but she would always make sure I wasn't hurt and in good spirits beforehand.

I'm an experienced rider as well so a bit different. I bet DD was terrified. Sounds quite a dangerous situation tbh.

What a disgusting men. Before you dump him tell her how awful him laughing was and how disgusted you were. When she is an adult looking back on what a twat her father was she will remember that others saw it too and that will mean a lot.

YANBU I’d be put off him too. Only a really thick person would find any of that funny especially so funny he was practically crying with laughter! Both my aunt and my step mum have fallen off horses before and both times it was similar to this- horse was spooked and took off chucking them out the saddle. Aunt was lucky to not break her neck and stepmum still has back trouble 39 years later.

Your poor DSD must have been so terrified and definitely did the right thing staying where she was at first incase of getting trampled.

My mum’s friend was paralysed from the neck down after falling off a horse and having it trample her. Can’t believe your DP was able to find it funny before he knew if she was ok or not. He sounds like an idiot

Absolute twonk !