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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP laughed at his DD falling off horse

208 replies

StubbyNosedCreatures · 02/01/2018 13:09

I've been really put off DP.

Took his DD (12) and my DS (9) horse riding. Neither had done it before and were in a class of around 6. So the class starts and the horses plod around the school like they do then his DDs horse starts trotting and starts getting rather fast. She wasn't supposed to be trotting at this point, the horse had just decided to spice things up a bit. The instructor shouted instructions at her about slowing down the horse but she didn't have a clue what to do. The trot got faster and faster until instructor starts shouting to pull back on the reigns otherwise the horse would break into a canter. DSD looks visibly terrified. DP is creased up laughing. Nobody else is laughing. All of the other horses had stopped still at this point and all attention was on DSD and this crazy horse. Then inevitably the horse breaks into a canter and starts flying around the school in circles getting faster and faster. Instructor gives up trying to get her to control it sndbjust shouts "hold on to the saddle! Don't panic!". Then DSD plummets to the ground. The horse continues to fly around on its own. DSD remains on the floor. Nobody knows if she's injured or not as nobody can get near her because the horse is still flying past every few seconds. I turn to DP expecting to have to reassure him and he's laughing so much he has tears rolling down his face. He saw my face and then choked through laughing "oh god is she ok?? Oh god hahaha".

Long story short, horse eventually gets bored of the carry on and brings itself into the centre of the room to signify that the class was over. DSD gets up. She's fine. DP laughs at her and said "why didn't you just get up??" So she screamed back at him "because there was a horse running past me every few seconds and I thought it was going to trample me!! Are you stupid?". He then tells her off for being cheeky.

It's really put me off him. He's. fuckwit isnt he?

OP posts:
Anniethinggose · 02/01/2018 18:21

I couldn't be with someone who creases with laughter over you've-been-framed type scenarios (immature), which is one thing- crying from the 'hilarity' of a young girl being petrified, potentially paralysed or killed is foul.

kaitlinktm · 02/01/2018 18:22

I still believe the OP's DP is a total dickhead but I am wondering if maybe he was just behaving inappropriately because he didn't know what else to do.

I don't think so looking at this - he obviously has form:

it's happened before. One time we were in the car and a young kid rode past on his bike, it jammed into something and he went flying over the handlebars, face first into the concrete. DP burst out laughing and then shouted "Ha Ha!" Like that bully kid from the simpsons.

Another time a little girl was running to catch up with her mum, tripped and went flying. She was crying hysterically and the mum picked her up and started brushing her off. Her trousers were ripped and DP burst out laughing and then did impressions of her falling. She was about 6 years old.

Willow2017 · 02/01/2018 18:27

Lakie
You would laugh at a young terrified girl careering round on an out of control horse then falling off being potentialy hurt and in danger of being trodden on by same horse rushing round her several times while nobody stopped it?

Wow. Nothing to do with sense of humour just total lack of awareness to a dangerous situation she shoukd never have been in the first place.

MoonChilli · 02/01/2018 18:28

What a horrid thing to do and so frightening. The Riding school needs reporting. She should have been on a lead.
I can't deny I've had to laugh at my DH falling over in front of our pony on an icy yard in front of the vet who was horrified. I couldn't stop laughing. DH had slipped over and was virtually breakdancing in a circle on his shoulders on the ice. Still hanging onto said pony. But I did manage to splutter out "are you ok darling?" before peeing myself. Sorry.
I say this because is your DP otherwise a lovely man? Did he just see humour when no one else possibly could? Sometimes it just gets you and there's nothing you can do about it. Horribly inappropriate I know. Especially for a little girl who could have been seriously injured. But playing devil's advocate, if this was entirely out of character for a usually kind person, then maybe cut some slack?

I take it you have talked to him about it? Has he explained or shrugged it off? You know him best of course and I wish you the best of luck.
It's 'rein' by the way. Only royals 'reign'.

Anniethinggose · 02/01/2018 18:29

Oh god I didn't see that update.
He sounds sociopathic. Get away from him.

Willow2017 · 02/01/2018 18:35

laughter reduces stress, it is a physiological reaction to a surprising or shocking situation which in a mild form is the absurdity of a joke , but could equally be a 'bad' surprise.

Do you include mimicking children who have had bad falls and hurt themselves as good for stress relief ?
See ops other posts as to what he does when he sees other kids have accidents. He is a pratt.

Willow2017 · 02/01/2018 18:36

moon
See other posts by op too. This is normal for him to take the p out of kids who have hurt themselves in any situation. Its vile.

ChasedByBees · 02/01/2018 21:20

God he sounds awful. Are you going to stay with him?

Topseyt · 02/01/2018 21:57

What shitty behaviour from your DP.

I know someone who is lucky to be alive following a riding accident where both she and the horse fell, and the horse rolled on top of her. She was very seriously injured, though thankfully made a full recovery.

Luckily she did not have an arsehole like your DP for a parent thinking it was hilarious.

The riding school sound less than impressive too.

TwitterQueen1 · 02/01/2018 22:04

Kait Ah, thanks. I hadn't seen those updates. Although now, tbh, I'm feeling that these multiple instances of other people being hurt in DP's presence is somewhat odd....

BluePheasant · 02/01/2018 22:10

He sounds fucking derranged. Who laughs at children hurting themselves like that? His poor DD Sad

Grapeeatingweirdo · 02/01/2018 22:12

Has the OP been back? 🤔

PoorYorick · 02/01/2018 22:13

I was wondering if the laughter was a nervous reaction, as that can happen. But after the update, seeing he makes a point of laughing at children who hurt themselves, going as far as to imitate them and continue to beam when talking about it afterwards...no, he's just a sadistic knob and you need to bin him right off.

Let me guess - he can't stand anyone laughing at his own misfortunes?

MoonChilli · 02/01/2018 22:16

Having read more of this I agree with most on here. Get rid. He’s a psycho. Poor child though- what happens if you’re out the picture?

Maelstrop · 02/01/2018 22:26

First time on a horse and not on a lead rein!

Absolutely this ^^

Having a mate who was kicked in the head, skull cracked like an egg all the way round, wouldn’t heal, needed a bone graft, total personality change and was seriously disabled for quite some time, I don’t think your DP is anything less than a wanker.

Brigante9 · 02/01/2018 22:38

Should I post a picture of my leg after an accident involving a 650kg horse? My brother thought I’d been bitten by a shark~he’s a dive instructor~the calf was sheared off.

Your DP is an idiot for laughing. Ok, yes, most horses will try not to step on you, but accidents do happen. A friend’s horse was trampled by the herd one night and his hinds were crushed. He was shot in situ and removed by a tractor.

Is it the shock factor what made your DP laugh? Or is he genuinely horrible to laugh at other’s misfortune?

QuestionableMouse · 02/01/2018 22:42

Reign is something a queen does. It is rein.

Your oh sounds like a dickhead and the riding school horse unsuitable.

Mrskeats · 02/01/2018 22:46

He’s a sociopath. How could anyone want to be with someone who laughs at his own daughter being scared and hurt??!! As well as having the same reaction to strangers’ accidents. Yuck.
Beginner rider should have had a leader without question.

WasDoingFine · 02/01/2018 22:47

What a nasty man.

Maybe he'd like to get on a bolting horse. I ride and have fallen several times. If l had a horse who did that to me I'm not sure I'd be able to stay on.

Last week an ambulance was called due to a nasty fall. It is a dangerous sport and not one for spectator nobs

Brigante9 · 02/01/2018 22:48

No horse is bombproof. Even our saintly riding school types occasionally have a moment, once when a bot fly was chasing mine up the lane, I had to bloody run away (with the horse). The best little lead rein pony on the yard once pissed off down the lane from his handler. He was 10hh, teeny and sweet but took the mick a lot!

Dozer · 02/01/2018 22:48

He is horrible, his poor DD. Dump him, inform his ex of his behaviour

WasDoingFine · 02/01/2018 23:13

@Dozer - why inform his ex? She probably already knows.... hense him being an ex

kaitlinktm · 03/01/2018 10:16

I hope his DD told her mother though.

Dozer · 03/01/2018 21:53

his behaviour casts potential doubt on his ability to keep dd safe, and is likely to have a negative emotional impact on her. Information her mother should have IMO and that some DC might not articulate.

Ohmyfuck · 03/01/2018 21:55

What an unsympathetic idiotic bellend.