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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP laughed at his DD falling off horse

208 replies

StubbyNosedCreatures · 02/01/2018 13:09

I've been really put off DP.

Took his DD (12) and my DS (9) horse riding. Neither had done it before and were in a class of around 6. So the class starts and the horses plod around the school like they do then his DDs horse starts trotting and starts getting rather fast. She wasn't supposed to be trotting at this point, the horse had just decided to spice things up a bit. The instructor shouted instructions at her about slowing down the horse but she didn't have a clue what to do. The trot got faster and faster until instructor starts shouting to pull back on the reigns otherwise the horse would break into a canter. DSD looks visibly terrified. DP is creased up laughing. Nobody else is laughing. All of the other horses had stopped still at this point and all attention was on DSD and this crazy horse. Then inevitably the horse breaks into a canter and starts flying around the school in circles getting faster and faster. Instructor gives up trying to get her to control it sndbjust shouts "hold on to the saddle! Don't panic!". Then DSD plummets to the ground. The horse continues to fly around on its own. DSD remains on the floor. Nobody knows if she's injured or not as nobody can get near her because the horse is still flying past every few seconds. I turn to DP expecting to have to reassure him and he's laughing so much he has tears rolling down his face. He saw my face and then choked through laughing "oh god is she ok?? Oh god hahaha".

Long story short, horse eventually gets bored of the carry on and brings itself into the centre of the room to signify that the class was over. DSD gets up. She's fine. DP laughs at her and said "why didn't you just get up??" So she screamed back at him "because there was a horse running past me every few seconds and I thought it was going to trample me!! Are you stupid?". He then tells her off for being cheeky.

It's really put me off him. He's. fuckwit isnt he?

OP posts:
LazyDailyMailJournos · 02/01/2018 15:17

And you find this specimen attractive? Confused

Best hope that nothing serious happens to you OP. Your 'D'P may be too busy laughing to provide any meaningful help.

Willow2017 · 02/01/2018 15:22

Jux
Because the girl didn't know how to stop a pony taking off at the clappers under its own steam on her first ever time on a horse, then to be lying on the ground with an excited pony flying round and round her with No responsible adult doing anything to help and its her fault as she just "isnt cut out to ride"?

I have heard it all now.

kaitlinktm · 02/01/2018 15:23

OMG I can hardly believe his reactions to those children. You mean he mimicked a distressed and injured six-year-old? What a prince! I would have left him then, he obviously has absolutely NO empathy and I would be wondering if he was a sociopath.

Lizzie48 · 02/01/2018 15:25

I used to love riding as a child. And yes, it is appropriate to laugh at such a fall after the event, once it's clear that no harm has been done and you can see the funny side. That is to say, you laugh about it together as a shared funny memory.

You don't laugh at someone who has just fallen off and is terrified, before you know that she's ok. Your DP just showed that he had no empathy, was actually laughing at his daughter's fear and that does sound psychopathic.

maxthemartian · 02/01/2018 15:59

Lila quite. I grew up riding, was very proficient but I had a few tumbles.
Never hurt beyond scrapes, bruising and winding but every time was horrible. That slow motion thing when it starts to happen, the impact, then the shaky physical shock after.

I've also had a horse bolt with me and it's fucking scary even for a proficient rider.

MammaAgata · 02/01/2018 16:09

@Lilaofthegreenwood.. no one thinks they’re impressively cool about falling off a horse but the fact of the matter is, if you don’t want to fall off a horse, don’t ride a horse. However proficient you are, and however good a rider you are you are going to fall off. My sister fell off her horse whilst it was standing still, my friend got ‘shook’ off her horse and she’s a very accomplished eventer. Most of my falls have been at walk or trot or over something silly like a big spook. It’s not impressive, we don’t want to do it, but it happens a lot and sometimes you have to just get up, dust yourself down and get back on. No one here is suggesting that what happened to the girl is not good, but in many riding lessons up and down the land people will fall off horses. Most have agreed that if the op’s account of what happened is correct then the riding school was not doing their best, but as I stated in my reply we don’t really fully understand the circumstances to judge the school.

Namechangetempissue · 02/01/2018 16:14

Does SD want to have another go? Did she get back on or was she too shaken? Poor kid, that isn't a great introduction to the very wonderful world of horses. Tell her not be the slightest bit embarrassed at all -I faceplanted walking in an 11hh pony the other day. Literally flat on my face in the mud (tripped over the leadrope). I've also been bucked off a mean old Exmoor pony satan when I've been riding massive horses for over 30 years. Happens to the best of us!

Snowdrop18 · 02/01/2018 16:20

what do you see in him?

Also I'm curious to know if he's ever had an accident of some kind. I'm accident prone and I know it annoys people but I am now super careful e.g. on a slippery pavement - because broken bones are painful, stressful and expensive.

I do have an ex-friend who hated the fact that I was careful on walks etc and not leaping like a mountain goat, but everyone else was fine. I've never fallen down and found anyone laughing at me.

LilaoftheGreenwood · 02/01/2018 16:24

@MammaAgata, I am aware of all this, because I can ride too, and accordingly I've taken a few tumbles, well done me. We're not talking about accomplished eventers giving themselves a shake and getting back on though, are we, we're talking about a 12yo girl on her first lesson who had an experience way beyond her comfort zone, and beyond what anyone should experience first time out, and a father who laughed throughout it and then told her off.

Fortunately it is only a very small minority of people here who are taking that as a cue to rehearse their own resilience. I suppose I particularly object to it because it seems bone-headed, uncompassionate and gives riding and riders a bad name.

lalalalyra · 02/01/2018 16:33

He sounds hideous. I would have laughed - I laugh when I'm terrified, I've no idea why and I've tried to stop it, but can't. However, I'm always fucking mortified after it. I think that makes it very, very different to him (I hope so!). What an arse he is.

Is it only ever children he laughs at?

AlexaDoTheDishes · 02/01/2018 16:34

He was probably horsing around

Don't go back to that riding stables. They sound incompetent

FireCracker2 · 02/01/2018 16:44

laughter reduces stress, it is a physiological reaction to a surprising or shocking situation which in a mild form is the absurdity of a joke , but could equally be a 'bad' surprise.

LakieLady · 02/01/2018 16:50

YANBU, but I'm afraid my sense of humour must have stopped developing when I was about 5, because I find people falling off horses very funny. Falling into water is even funnier. I just can't help it, it makes me laugh even though I know it's wrong.

Actually, DP tripping up the steps in a pub garden and narrowly avoiding a face plant was pretty bloody hilarious too. Blush

ConfusedLivingDoll · 02/01/2018 16:51

This happened to DB on his sixth or seventh lesson. First one without lead rein. He never got on again, even when nobody laughed. I think the laughing is bad, as he doesn't seem sorry about it at all. Also, agree the riding school was negligent in allowing a first timer on without being led or at least closely followed on foot.

I have fallen off a few times, but only once did everyone laugh. It was during a jumping competition where the horse just decided to go top speed and I lost my balance half way through the course, so was barely hanging on. I managed to hang on until the finish line, after which I semi-gently slid down to the ground. Managed to hold onto the reins too. I won. Didn't hear the end of it for a while! Also, another incident wasn't funny at the time, but I went out on a hack on a horse known for blowing it's tummy full of air, so you couldn't properly fasten the saddle belt. I thought I had got it fastened well, as did it gradually at many different times and after getting on. However, I was wrong and in the middle of the hack I suddenly slid sideways and was briefly hanging under the belly in canter. Again, fell off, but managed to hold onto reins. Nobody laughed then, even though it was funny. We all laughed about it later, though. There is a fine balance between encouraging and light hearted chuckling, when you can see the situation is not bad, and schadenfreude. I'd say your DP is leaning heavily on the latter, which is very immature and unpleasant.

eggsandwich · 02/01/2018 17:29

Seriously get rid of him he’s sounds really immature, who would want to go out with someone who shows no compassion to other people’s misfortunes, hopefully it won’t be too long and you can all have a good laugh at his expense.

Stolenchoccies · 02/01/2018 17:37

What a fucking bastard

RubyLux · 02/01/2018 17:48

Stupid mean cunt. Seriously. Poor kid having such a person as a parent.

Personwithhorse · 02/01/2018 17:51

What a moron, however, the riding school should have had someone leading the horse, not allowed someone to ride by themselves. Usual question - is the school BHS registered? Did they have up to date helmets?

If they are serious about riding you need to source a proper school with one to one lessons perhaps on the lunge - will be more expensive

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 02/01/2018 17:51

Doesn't sound like a decent riding "school" at all. No total beginner should be walking around an arena on a horse in a group without a lead rein. Ideally she should have a lesson on the lunge first. Bet it wasn't British Horse Society or Association of British Riding Schools approved eh?

As for your DP...I'm sure it looked "comical" in a You've Been Framed way, but it was potentially very dangerous and his DD could've been seriously hurt. Not so funny then. OK, with some people, laughing is a reflex reaction to stress, but reading about the other times he's laughed when children have fallen and hurt themselves he sounds horrible.

Falling off is part and parcel of horse riding. If you don't want to fall off, don't ride
True, but beginners shouldn't have their first lesson off of a lead rein because they are not in a position to know how to control the horse and don't have the balance sussed yet. This is for their safety, and to avoid the horse getting yanked in the mouth.

isthismummy · 02/01/2018 17:56

Yanbu op.

I'm a 39 year old woman. I've been riding since I was 8. Even now my poor dad gets a slightly grey look on his face every time he sees me get on my horse!

To laugh at your own child in a potentially deadly situation is just horrendous. I couldn't look at him the same way again.

The riding school is also pretty rubbish. Total beginners should be on lead rein.

ohfourfoxache · 02/01/2018 18:07

He has all the empathy and compassion of a stinking turd.

I couldn’t stay with him. Are you in contact with her Mum? His dd needs someone looking out for her Sad

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 02/01/2018 18:09

And this is probably one of many reasons he is no longer with DSD's mother. If you are stupid enough to have a child with him, this could be you down the line. Kick his sorry arse to the kerb.

PuffinBadger · 02/01/2018 18:14

One time we were in the car and a young kid rode past on his bike, it jammed into something and he went flying over the handlebars, face first into the concrete. DP burst out laughing and then shouted "Ha Ha!" Like that bully kid from the simpsons
So it's not even nervous laughter then, he's just nasty. He doesn't sound very bright either.

MinorRSole · 02/01/2018 18:16

Actually, DP tripping up the steps in a pub garden and narrowly avoiding a face plant was pretty bloody hilarious too.*

I know the feeling, dh is a clumsy bugger and so dramatic with it. I do find things funny, both when other people do it and when I do it myself. This situation would not have been one that amused me though, I would have wanted to know my dc was ok. I dare say I would have had a giggle later on but not until i knew all was well

TwitterQueen1 · 02/01/2018 18:17

My father laughed when I had to be rescued in the swimming pool.

I have posted twice on this thread about the awful behaviour of the OP's DP and how inappropriate his response was. But I have since remembered an incident from about 50 years ago when I was learning to swim - I must have been about 7.

I was doing a length for the first time and couldn't manage it. I was sinking and couldn't breathe. An attendant came to me and steered me to the side. My father then arrived - parents had to watch from a balcony above the pool - and he was very red in the face and laughing.

I remember being very cross with him about laughing. But I wasn't actually scared when I was struggling. I didn't realise I was in danger until someone rescued me.

I still believe the OP's DP is a total dickhead but I am wondering if maybe he was just behaving inappropriately because he didn't know what else to do.