DP laughed at his DD falling off horse

[StubbyNosedCreatures]

I've been really put off DP.

Took his DD (12) and my DS (9) horse riding. Neither had done it before and were in a class of around 6. So the class starts and the horses plod around the school like they do then his DDs horse starts trotting and starts getting rather fast. She wasn't supposed to be trotting at this point, the horse had just decided to spice things up a bit. The instructor shouted instructions at her about slowing down the horse but she didn't have a clue what to do. The trot got faster and faster until instructor starts shouting to pull back on the reigns otherwise the horse would break into a canter. DSD looks visibly terrified. DP is creased up laughing. Nobody else is laughing. All of the other horses had stopped still at this point and all attention was on DSD and this crazy horse. Then inevitably the horse breaks into a canter and starts flying around the school in circles getting faster and faster. Instructor gives up trying to get her to control it sndbjust shouts "hold on to the saddle! Don't panic!". Then DSD plummets to the ground. The horse continues to fly around on its own. DSD remains on the floor. Nobody knows if she's injured or not as nobody can get near her because the horse is still flying past every few seconds. I turn to DP expecting to have to reassure him and he's laughing so much he has tears rolling down his face. He saw my face and then choked through laughing "oh god is she ok?? Oh god hahaha".

Long story short, horse eventually gets bored of the carry on and brings itself into the centre of the room to signify that the class was over. DSD gets up. She's fine. DP laughs at her and said "why didn't you just get up??" So she screamed back at him "because there was a horse running past me every few seconds and I thought it was going to trample me!! Are you stupid?". He then tells her off for being cheeky.

It's really put me off him. He's. fuckwit isnt he?

Doesn't sound like the crime of the century to me but apparently I'm outnumbered

Nasty twat!

What an arse I would get rid.

@lucylululu people falling off horses can sustain fatal injuries. His dd wasn’t moving and he kept laughing. You would laugh in this situation, really?

That's awful.

I think the only time for laughing in this sort of situation is weeks after when everyone is okay with thinking back in a lighthearted way.

Has he ever done this sort of thing before? Laughed when your DSD/DS have been in danger/hurt?

Presumably he had no understanding how potentially dangerous it was. Please don’t use that ‘riding school ‘ again, children who have never ridden before should have been being led around on a lead rope not left to fend for themselves on horse that sounds completely unsuited to the task.

That’s really awful imo. What a twat.

First time on a horse and not on a lead rein!

in the event that either child wants to go back riding again, ensure it's somewhere where they have a one on one lesson for the first few months, with someone who has them on the end of a lead rein / lunge line.

Did the riding school have an accident book for you to complete?

Aside from your arse of a partner, the riding school needs kicking into touch

He is a genuine fuckwit OP. Really, that is terrible. She could have been seriously injured. And she should have been on a leading rein as well - as others have said, the riding school is shocking here too.

Yes, he sounds like a moron. Did you ask him why he was laughing at the time? TBH if you can't be direct with a partner when they are doing something appalling its a sh1t relationship anyway isnt it?

Your DP is a twat. he may change. He may not.

Its up to you to decide if you want to be with someone like that.

FWIW I would have punched him.

That's horrible - even as a more experienced rider, the feeling of a horse being out of control can be somewhat unnerving. For a total beginner it would have been very frightening.

Do not, ever, set foot in that riding school again either - there's no way two complete beginners should have been in that situation. It sounds like an appalling, cowboy operation. I dread to think what its standards of horse welfare are, tbh.

Yanbu.
Very odd behaviour when your own child is potentially hurt and in danger. I guess it depends on what he's like in other ways as to what you do.

I wouldn't be impressed with the riding school either, the horse doesn't sound suitable for a beginner rider and they should have got it under control way before it started cantering

Falling off is part and parcel of horse riding. If you don't want to fall off, don't ride. It was insensitive to laugh but it sounds like the DD was a bit of a drama queen. The horse was less likely to trample her if she was standing up, but really horses don't like to trample people, they will avoid it of they can. All in all an unfortunate event but nothing terrible happened.

he may change.

I don't know, his behavior shows an incredible lack of empathy. Is that something that changes as an adult?

Of course falling off is part and parcel of riding, but a beginner should be on a horse that is under control.

Fucking bastard. Crap riding school and crap dad. Poor kid.

Bad enough that he laughed like he did, but to then tell her off for being cheeky?!?!

Total arse.

Reassure her that she did nothing wrong.

Dump him.

Of course falling off is part and parcel of riding, but a beginner should be on a horse that is under control.

Exactly this

I used to be a riding instructor.

You can control things a lot of the time but not all the time. I've had ponies do this and I'm thinking "No, don't you dare, stop it" and they then break into a trot and you're like "Oh now come on, stop it" and a scenario like the one described takes place. You're not standing right next to the horses - you're in the middle of a menage or indoor school, you can't just stop a horse that suddenly decides to speed up - sadly, it's just not possible.

Horses and ponies are unpredictable and sometimes uncontrollable - that's horse riding for you. They're essentially dangerous on, dangerous off, dangerous in the stable, dangerous when being turned out into a field, dangerous when being fed. Sadly stuff like this WILL happen if she continues riding - that's what happens when people and horses come together.

If it was me teaching her on the next lesson I'd be putting her on the total ploddy horse from the stables that never moves out of a shuffle to make sure she had a better experience

It would be worth asking if that horse is known for that type of thing - if so, could he not have been given to a slightly less novice rider in the group? Also, I wouldn't accept being assigned that horse if it was a hack - DD could get run off with. Also, is the instructor actually a qualified instructor?? Just worth asking about.

As for the father's reaction, what an arsehole. She could have been lying there badly injured due to an awkward fall - sounds highly unpleasant to me and I feel sorry for his daughter.

Sorry ear but I fully disagree with you.
It might be the case that for experienced riders, falling is part of the sport.
But this was someone who had NEVER done any horseridding and was clearly scared to death.
Falling over because you are on a horse that you can’t control is not funny. It’s scary. It’s not being a drama queen to freeze over when something so unexpected is happening.

And the father was appalling tbh. I suspect everyone else around though the same too.

Oh my goodness I was anxious just reading that. I am not a drama queen but that would have scared me. I hope she's OK

The stables sounds poor.

Your DP sounds like a twat

I don't think falling off a horse is part of the sport at all, I used to ride and almost never fell off, except once off a donkey! Falling off should be the exception, not the rule, as it's from a height and the horse can accidentally (or deliberately, not all horses are nice) trample you.

It's not a usual occurrence that happens pretty much every time you ride!