to be frustrated by plus size bloggers

[fcek]

First of all I am plus size myself but I find the plus size bloggers out there to be really disappointing in terms of the outfits they show and the message they put out.

There are some bloggers who wear clothes that are 2-3 sizes too small either because they think they are that size or because (most likely) they want to show off the fact they are fat because its all they talk about in between their fashion photos. I'd rather just learn about the clothes not to read defensive posts all the time.

And there are other bloggers who wear ridiculously bright clothes, lots of in your face make up and jewellery to seemingly 'hide' the fact that they are plus size.

Where are all the 'normal' plus size bloggers? with normal looking clothes that people would actually wear, that actually fit them, who have an interest in fashion without pushing a particular 'cause' down our throats in every second post?

I quite like becky barnes and arched eyebrow. Their blogs are relatively normal and they are of a similar size / shape to me.

Wannabe Princess is the worst. Nothing personal but her blog comes under the first category above. She doesn't wear clothes that actually fit her or are in any way fashionable. Diamond and Pearls comes under the second category with the OTT make up/jewellery/clothes. Neither of them do plus size people any favours, contrary to what they might think, they just make us more objects of fun.

Can anyone recommend a blogger who promotes clothes people would actually wear and that actually fit?

This is the thing that the OP either forgets or chooses not to notice, plus size bloggers (even if they don't consult the OP on her fashion preferences first) make a difference to lots of women and girls. Don't like some of their clothes? Fine, don't wear them yourself. But don't think that they aren't a force for good, it simply isn't true.

And as has been pointed out in the thread, feeling confident and worthwhile doesn’t encourage me to make unhealthy choices. If I felt ashamed of my body, if I couldn’t find nice clothes to give me a boost, if I felt I was disgusting and needed to be hidden away then I wouldn’t have the energy or motivation to take care of myself. Plus size blogging doesn’t promote obesity, at least not to me. People criticising it for normalising being overweight - well, it is normal. And I think it was Caitlin Moran who pointed out that we need to defuse the word fat, we need to take the sting and the potency to hurt out of the word - in fact, we do need to normalise it in order to help ourselves manage it. I have to feel good about myself to look after myself. I have never lost weight when depressed or unhappy about my size; it has only happened when I have felt positive and strong. So plus size bloggers really are doing something good and worthwhile!

I wish I'd found plus size bloggers before my eating disorder. Life could have been very different then.

I enjoy helenwearsasize18. Totally normal high street clothes, no guff, and she looks brilliant in them. I'm not even a size 18, but she doesn't look all that different to me tbh so I follow her for frock inspiration.

Agree captain my purse has suffered! I now own several Lyra dresses due to following FFFB, for the first time in ages I feel attractive in a dress.

I bet every single one of the plus size bloggers that have been named on this thread has had at least one email from a woman thankful for the difference it's made to her life - making her realise that she doesn't need to wait until she's a certain weight in order to enjoy fashion and feel comfortable in her own skin.

Can the OP say the same?

Because what I'm seeing in this thread is the OP making nasty comments which will (and probably have) hurt other women, whether it's the bloggers themselves or people with similar bodies to them.

I agree hemlock I've always been the type to say, I will buy that dress when I've lost weight, or start swimming when I lose weight and so on. Then you end up wasting your life waiting for 'when I lose weight'. At least I can feel good in the meantime.

As one of the bloggers here, I just wanted to jump in and say, in 2018 why not try to be a little kinder?

No one is forced to read a blog or follow someone on social media. If someone doesn't bring joy to your newsfeed, why are you even letting them take up space in your life?

As parents, please remember that one day your children are going to be on social media - perhaps as bloggers or perhaps just as happy people sharing selfies with their friends... and if they're really unlucky someone will make a 7 page thread about how terrible they look.

Just a gentle reminder that all of the bloggers you mention are daughters, wives, mothers, sisters, friends - real people. And yes, we choose to put ourselves out there but you absolutely do not HAVE to be unkind. You make that choice and one day, someone just make that choice about someone you love.

I absolutely will not apologise for wearing unflattering clothes and I certainly never promised I was fashionable. I'm simply a 35 year old woman who wears the clothes that I like and takes the odd snap to let other fat women know that they can dress as they like also.

If you don't like what someone else us doing why not just close your eyes instead of being unkind?

Debz

So glad to see some of the women who have been mentioned have shown up to fight their corner.
Bebe, Lottie, Debz - you continue to inspire and keep adding to the bourgeoning catalogue of fat babes wearing what they like, and owning it! Yasss queens!

I'm Hayley, and plus size blogs and bloggers changed my life. Some of the women that have been lambasted in this thread helped me see myself differently after living for most of my life with self loathing.
And it was because of what they had done for me that I started my own blog 3 years ago, which has meant I've met so many wonderful women and heard so many stories of people learning to love their bodies. I write the blog curves & curls @curvesncurlsuk on insta Twitter etc) - I don't pretend to be an authority on anything - fashion, style or body positivity. I just talk about what I wear and a bit about what it's like to be a fat girl living in London. I love clothes, i like dressing up, and enjoy sharing my outfits with the world. It's okay if it's not your style. If you like a different style. It doesn't mean that what I (or any of these women) do doesn't add value. Knowing that it might inspire someone to try something different makes up for the fact that there are some corners of the internet where someone might be saying something nasty about me and my choices. As the divine Dita says "your can be the ripest juiciest peach in the world' and there's still gonna be someone who doesn't like peaches"
I have to be honest, when people start loving themselves and their own bodies I have noticed they tend to start to show that compassion and kindness to other people too. And if you don't like what you see?? Scroll on by. The internet is a big place - even big enough to accommodate all us fatties!

All my favourite bloggers are here and I can't even 😍😍😍

I don’t think people are being lambasted or are being “concern trolls”. Women ought to be able to wear nice clothes and have a range of fashion whatever their size however to pretend it’s healthy to be morbidly obese or normalise grossly excessive weight (which some but by no means all sites do) is wrong. This is not an offensive statement or designed to undermine confidence - it’s just a fact.

I do not agree with the OP about her comments on what other people wear. If you actually read the thread not many people are commenting on what the OP is saying or are challenging her. Most are focusing on health.

I genuinely don’t give a shit what people wear. I do worry that there seems to be a wave of women shouting loudly you can be very overweight and healthy, which in the short term is correct but in the long term odds of cardiovascular disease, diabetes etc are increased.

Oh I know what you mean. Size 22 here and some plus size bloggers really frustrate me.

There’s one called dress like a fat skint mum who I found on Instagram who seems to show clothes I like and is funny I cam across her at Christmas. I like her because she’s not one of the body positive shouty ones.

@dresslikeafatskintmum sorry

Jeez, fat people can't win can they. If they aren't constantly dieting and hiding their rolls away then they're promoting obesity and heart attacks. Is anyone really such a paragon of virtue that they are doing nothing that increases their risk of diabetes & cancer?

You know what increases your chances of death the most? Living. It's the ultimate fucking outcome and it's coming for everyone.

Brilliant 😂😂😂 I think I love you xxx

Some good suggestions on here. I like plus size bloggers as it's nice to get outfit ideas. I followed FFFB for a while but stopped as found she started wearing too tight clothes (especially trousers) and the 'fame' seemed to change her. Her modelling pics on simply be are in too small clothing also but that isn't her fault. Curvy Wordy was wonderful but recently seems to just do lingerie and the comments from men are very cringy. What Laura loves is my favourite as she is down to earth and wears lovely clothes. I'm going to look up some of the ladies mentioned on here as they sound nice.

I like girlwithcurves.com/, sorry if it’s been mentioned.

Shame and self loathing is not a successful route to weight loss.

I loathe the hatred and pious shaming and cruelty directed at fat people. It’s somehow seen as an acceptable form of bullying and exclusion.

I am looking forwards to getting into some of the bloggers/ vloggers listed on this thread.

I think it’s incredibly important that there are positive role models who are fat/over weight/ whatever, as this will help others feel more positive about themselves, and not written off just because they can’t a size 8.

Self esteem is critical to weight loss. And feeling good about our bodies is a key part of that. Even if it’s not the size we want to be forever, people shouldn’t feel excluded from parts of life whilst they go on their weight loss journey, however long that may be.

I knew after the first few posts that the bloggers would turn up to defend themselves here and probably in their blogs next, which just supports part of what I'm saying.

It's not body positive to wear tight fitting clothes and be a size 30+ at 35, especially when it makes you look much older and unwell. It just makes me more inclined to lose weight this year rather than inspire me.

A friend of one of those mentioned has said that person isn't has happy as they make out and has lots of health problems. That's not body confidence, that's mental illness.

Nothing wrong with being plus size, I never said that. Just that I wanted to see more bloggers between 16 to maybe size 24, with clothes that actually fit them and suit them.

Some good recommendations which I will check out. I have neither the time nor interest to start my own blog, I have a real f/t job which my DC will have too.

TTFN

So you just wanted to make nasty comments about them without them defending themselves?

As for the job comment, most of them have full time jobs in addition to the blogging so probably working harder than you

Fit is subjective.

You cannot say your definition is the only one. If you dislike a blogger move on without being rude.

You’re not covering yourself in glory here, you’re just being nasty and judgemental.

Thank you to whoever recommended Helen Wears A Size 18, her instagram is brilliant and she's the same size as me. She's posted pictures of herself in several brands I've been scared to even try because I thought they wouldn't fit me. Someone recommended Em (@terribletumbles) on another thread yesterday and I'm loving her style too.

The more I read this, the more I think it's just a massive 'concern trolling' line from the OP. 'Beyond plus size, unhealthy, etc etc.'

Next think you know they'll be promoting Protein World or something.

Well, I’ve found loads of new people to follow on Instagram so although I’m pretty disgusted by the OP’s comments, I’ve come out of this thread better off!