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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be frustrated by plus size bloggers

213 replies

fcek · 31/12/2017 20:37

First of all I am plus size myself but I find the plus size bloggers out there to be really disappointing in terms of the outfits they show and the message they put out.

There are some bloggers who wear clothes that are 2-3 sizes too small either because they think they are that size or because (most likely) they want to show off the fact they are fat because its all they talk about in between their fashion photos. I'd rather just learn about the clothes not to read defensive posts all the time.

And there are other bloggers who wear ridiculously bright clothes, lots of in your face make up and jewellery to seemingly 'hide' the fact that they are plus size.

Where are all the 'normal' plus size bloggers? with normal looking clothes that people would actually wear, that actually fit them, who have an interest in fashion without pushing a particular 'cause' down our throats in every second post?

I quite like becky barnes and arched eyebrow. Their blogs are relatively normal and they are of a similar size / shape to me.

Wannabe Princess is the worst. Nothing personal but her blog comes under the first category above. She doesn't wear clothes that actually fit her or are in any way fashionable. Diamond and Pearls comes under the second category with the OTT make up/jewellery/clothes. Neither of them do plus size people any favours, contrary to what they might think, they just make us more objects of fun.

Can anyone recommend a blogger who promotes clothes people would actually wear and that actually fit?

OP posts:
AccrualIntentions · 01/01/2018 07:47

I kind of know what you mean. I don't want to dress like Joan from Mad Men in corsets all the time or in multicoloured spandex or do the "pin up" look. There's not a lot outside of this.

Whatlauraloves is lovely, although has an extremely different body shape to me. Callie Thorpe is good. I think I'm not quite plus size enough for some of the blogs to be useful inspiration but much too fat for "normal" blogs.

Basseting · 01/01/2018 07:52

placematting

CaptainBrickbeard · 01/01/2018 08:25

I don’t know why you have to interpret bright colours and jewellery as attempting to deflect attention from being fat either, OP. I liked wearing bright colours and statement jewellery as a 12 as mic as an 18. I kind of get the impression that you think fat people should hide away and not draw attention to themselves until they are acceptably thin enough for public viewing - but that is kind of antithetical to having a blog..!

TovaGoldCoin · 01/01/2018 08:29

I wonder if all the PPs concern trolling fat people's health realise that skinny people have heart attacks too? Skinny people eat badly, smoke, drink and don't take exercise... They just happen to be skinny. They have heart attack, stroke and cancer, just like fat people, and people with fluctuating weight. I am overweight, a size 18-20. Due to my chronic health condition (not due to weight) I have a lot of blood tests and other monitoring. My numbers are all fine, apart from my weight. I don't drink or smoke either.

wictional · 01/01/2018 08:37

Following this thread with interest. I follow Lottie Lamour but she seems to actively hate any plus-sized woman who wants to change that. Not what I started following the body positive movement for - I want to feel good about my body without feeling like I have to stay fat to do so.

MaisyPops · 01/01/2018 08:39

I wonder if all the PPs concern trolling fat people's health realise that skinny people have heart attacks too? Skinny people eat badly, smoke, drink and don't take exercise... They just happen to be skinny.
Yes they do. As larger people delightfully insist o saying any time anyone mentions that actually being obese isn't good for you.

A fractionally overweight friend ended up in hospital with a heart problem which was scary because he was always active and ate healthily.
A month ago an average build, very fit family friend collapsed and passed away. It was out of the blue. It could happen to anyone.

However, the fact that as an active slim person i could have a heart attack doesn't change the fact that beimg obese is not good for your health.

I mean, cancer could happen to anyone, but I'd rather not smoke or drink. I've seen average sized friends continue being diabetic post pregnancy, but I'd rather not get to a size where my size makes me more likely to have diabetes.

I don't really see the logic of 'don't state medical facts linked to obesity because it's concern trolling and some larger people just don't like it' / 'yeah... but... but anyone could have a heart attack'. I mean, sure we could. But why would I put my body into a state where it is more likely.

CaptainBrickbeard · 01/01/2018 08:41

There is a weird assumption from a few posters that fat people only want to wear clothes that make them look thinner and that anything a fat person wears that stands out or is in any way attention grabbing is them trying to divert attention from their body so that people don’t notice they are fat. I don’t know how you could have a blog where someone puts on monotonous, blending into the background type clothes with no interesting accessories. Do you want someone who swathes themselves on artfully draped navy fabric so that no one can guess at their body shape?

I’ve bought a pleated skirt that makes my hips look wider because I love the style and I can make great outfits with it. It’s not the most ‘flattering’ garment I own but I don’t care. My goal every day isn’t to look thinner. I hate it when women sneer at other women’s clothes as unflattering - ‘she shouldn’t be wearing that with her body shape/those legs/a small bust/at her age/she hasn’t got the body to pull that off’ etc. What I love about a wide range of fashion blogs - plus size or otherwise - is that people wear such different and varying styles, that not everyone looks the same and that not everyone finds the same shape and style attractive. I see fat women who look fat and look great. I see older women wearing ‘young’ fashion and applaud them for doing what they want and dressing how they like. Someone with a fashion blog is going to be celebrating their body and their style; the mean spirited criticism on this thread is awful.

CaptainBrickbeard · 01/01/2018 08:44

Though wictional I agree with you that I wouldn’t like the insistence the other way - that you have to stay fat to be attractive any more than I like the insistence that only thin people can look good. I don’t follow anyone who subscribes to that ethos.

AccrualIntentions · 01/01/2018 08:45

I follow Lottie Lamour but she seems to actively hate any plus-sized woman who wants to change that. Not what I started following the body positive movement for - I want to feel good about my body without feeling like I have to stay fat to do so

Agreed...I wanted it to be encouragement that I didn't have to hate myself while losing weight and improving my fitness....an antidote to my "when I'm thinner I can do x, y and z" thinking that I had to lose weight before I could ever enjoy my life or be comfortable with my looks. Unfortunately it's not, or is no longer, about that.

Bexta147 · 01/01/2018 08:48

I wouldn’t trust most of the plus size bloggers. If you want fashion advice then they can be fab. But knowing one of the plus sized bloggers mentioned on here personally, I know she has a number of health problems caused by her excessive weight. Not once has that been mentioned on her blog. Why? Because it doesn’t fit in with the healthy at any size! I would put money on her not being the only one either!

NerrSnerr · 01/01/2018 08:48

I tweeted that after Christmas it’s time to lose my baby weight and someone replied to me that people who talk about dieting and weight loss are fat shaming others. Turns out this person is a plus size blogger, I had a read and it has the usual ‘I’m morbidly obese but my BP, blood results etc are all fine’. That may not be the case forever. We all know people of all weights and sizes become unwell but being obese is a risk factor for cardiovascular disease, that is a fact.

I’m bordering on obese at the moment, is it healthy? Fuck no. I have been Size 8-10 and I’m currently a 12-14 and I feel so sluggish and for me I can definitely feel it. I also think I look better when smaller. People can be whatever weight they want but i don’t think it’s helpful to the wider world to pretend that being morbidly obese is a lifelong healthy choice, what message is that giving to teenagers?

There are bloggers on the other end of the scale over training and under eating doing damage as well.

instauration · 01/01/2018 08:50

I wonder if all the PPs concern trolling fat people's health realise that skinny people have heart attacks too? Skinny people eat badly, smoke, drink and don't take exercise... They just happen to be skinny. They have heart attack, stroke and cancer, just like fat people, and people with fluctuating weight.

I wonder if all the anti-smoking brigade realise that non-smokers get lung cancer too? They just happen to not smoke Confused

MaisyPops · 01/01/2018 08:50

CaptainBrickbeard
My statement about look at me clothes is based on someone I went to uni with.
They spent years and years dressing really wacky and spent a lot of time overexplaining how 'they are big boned/undiagnosed medical condition/i inherted being big from mum' and it was.classic deflection (they said this years later).
Years later they realised that they were at risk of health issues and started eating better and taking up exercise. They are still plus size but look fabulous and are so much healthier.
They now say quite openly that they made the 'funny fat one' personal their thing. According to them, it's quite common.
After years of their parents justifying their obesity too, the parents are now getting healthier too.
When we had a uni meet up, all the wacky stuff had gone, all thr defensive 'yeah but...' had gone. Uni friend looked plus size and great and was so much happier.

EatTheChocolateTeapot · 01/01/2018 08:56

I have read something interesting recently about fat woman being pushed to look hyperfeminine, like if you are fat you have to have big boobs, you shouldn't wear plain clothes, etc... I think it fits a bit with what you are saying about OTT clothing and make up.

LittleCandle · 01/01/2018 08:57

Sprinkle of Glitter did a collection for Simply Be a couple of years ago and it was quite popular. However, it was never repeated because she was an absolute nightmare to work with.

There is a blogger called AmandaApparrel. She is an American living in Scotland. She has some 'interesting' photos. She also talks about having psoriasis. She very much promotes the big body beautiful. I'm not sure how good a blogger she is though.

SparkyBlue · 01/01/2018 09:32

OP take a look at Sineads Curvy Style. I'd say you might like her stuff.

peachgreen · 01/01/2018 09:46

What baffles me about these threads is the amount of energy women put into hating fat women. Why do you want them to feel bad about themselves? What do you get from reminding them that (in your eyes) they're unhealthy and unattractive? How is your life improved by policing other people's bodies?

tabbywabby · 01/01/2018 10:01

I wonder if all the anti-smoking brigade realise that non-smokers get lung cancer too? They just happen to not smoke
^ This.

Yes, there are unhealthy thin people. Literally one-one claims otherwise. So what? Unhealthy thin people don't negate the risks associated with obesity. That isn't how science works.

NerrSnerr · 01/01/2018 10:04

Peach Is anyone actually hating fat people? Is it wrong to say that it is unhealthy to smoke 40 cigs a day?
It’s also unhealthy to be morbidly obese. People can choose to live an unhealthy lifestyle and others can point out that it is not healthy.

Original poster
fcek · 01/01/2018 10:10

maisypops gets what I'm trying to say

and yes to those talking about lottie lamour's blog - exactly what I don't like

OP posts:
Joey7t8 · 01/01/2018 10:23

I don't have any issue with fat people. I do have major issues with anyone that promotes obesity as anything but unhealthy.

The NHS spends £16b a year on the direct medical costs of conditions related to obesity. That's £307m a week - almost as much as the shamefully deceptive pledge made by the Brexit campaign 18 months ago.

Tinycitrus · 01/01/2018 10:33

It’s fine while you are young.
However I have several obese relatives who are in their 60s and have terrible joint problems, type 2 diabetes and are on a cocktail of meds which have side effects which make them extremely tired. The contrast with slim peers is striking - the slim people are still living full lives - travelling, skiing, cycling etc.

Larrytheleprechaun · 01/01/2018 10:58

I have followed some plus size bloggers and the only one I have stayed with is Sineads Curvy Style (on snapchat/instagram/Facebook). Irish blogger. I like the fact that she buys stuff in Penneys (Primark to you) as well as more expensive places as it's about the only place I can afford Smile . Will try some of the suggestions on here.

MaisyPops · 01/01/2018 11:01

fcek
To be fair, it's not difficult to see what you want. You're after a blog about fashion and style ideas for plus size women around the more common moderate end of plus size (say 18-24) rather than a let's celebrate being morbidly obese and call anyone who discusses health issues a fat shamer who is concern trolling.

Original poster
fcek · 01/01/2018 11:17

Thanks maisypops

I didn't really come on here to fat shame but it does upset me when I see these bloggers wearing outfits that just don't suit them.

Be whatever size they want, unhealthy or not, their choice, but I just wish they'd wear something that fits and flatters and I don't mean a tent.

OP posts: