Canticutt
He was allegedly comforting me as my dad had died a few months before. My mother didn’t comfort me once and I cannot remember anyone else comforting me.
Now I come to think of it, he initiated the conversation about my father to make me vulnerable. Fucker. Then when I was beside myself crying, he came and leaned over me closer and closer repeating “you’re lovely now, ain’t ya”. For several minutes.
I didn’t know what to do, felt uncomfortable but didn’t want to appear rude. I finally, after 5 mins, maybe more, stood up to get away. He did a bear hug, wrapping around my arms so I couldn’t get away and pulled me in for a kiss, I turned a cheek, he did it again and I turned another and the last time, contact was met. I grappled to get away and started screaming at him.
Yes, he was really horrible. And now I’m bloody sure he’d done it before.
My mother made it perfectly clear I wasn’t allowed to tell my grandmother. He remained her bf until she moved in with my mother temporarily maybe 7years later then went in a home. I was relieved when he died a couple of years or so later.
My grandmother was infinitely more important to my mother than me. As is my brother. My feelings were sacrificed. It’s just a very good job I wasn’t younger and he didn’t go further. By 16, girls hopefully don’t put up with that shit from an elderly man. I can imagine my mother’s reaction would have been the same had I been younger.
Mad
Thanks. As I say it was horrible at the time. And women have had a lot worse so it’s not a big thing for me. However, it left me with is issues of trust. I tested my stepdad in ways I wouldn’t have done had my mother protected me better.
I went on holiday with him and my mother when I was 19. I sunbathed topless - this was in an era where it was more normalised. My reaction now is what was I thinking stripping off?
Anyway, I went from the bedroom to the bathroom in just my knickers a few times. It’s an unpleasant thing to do, I know. But I needed to do the tests and evoke a reaction to know if I was safe around him. And far more importantly I wanted to know what my mother’s reaction was if he tried something.
I know the answer now as this was also coming off the back of abuse from my brother - not touching but sexualised abuse.
Sorry that was a bit long. Hopefully there’s some learning in here of how not to handle the situation.