to think I'm not the bad guy here

[HorseCFery]

I've name changed for this. I think the friend in question is a MNetter and I don't want it linked to other stuff I've posted

Just as a bit of background, DD2 has been horse riding for several years and earlier this year we were really lucky to be able to find her her first horse.

Anyway, friend has 2 daughters, quite a bit younger than mine. Both are mad about unicorns and horses - neither have ever had any riding lessons or anything like that.

Friend's daughters have birthdays next weekend, and friend asked me if they could have a unicorn/pony party using DD's horse - apparently you can buy unicorn horns and glittery shit for horses, invite a few friends and spend a couple of hours grooming horse, putting flowers, glitter and ribbons on her, and have pony rides on her.

I've said no. Mainly for safety reasons. Horse is amazing but she's not what I would consider a plodder/riding school safe. She's not overly patient with grooming and not suitable for young children who have never ridden before. She is as good as gold with DD, but I'm not happy with letting young, complete beginners on her, even with adult supervision.

There is another riding school down the road who do exactly what she wants, so I gave her all the details.

Friend had been a total pain in the arse about it. Even accosted DD in the street and gave her a lecture about being kind and sharing.

I spoke to friend the other day, made it clear I was pissed off, that I wasn't going to change my mind and to give it a rest. She apologised and I thought that was the end of it.

I'm just having a quiet mooch on Facebook and see a post from her - apologising that she has to cancel next weekend's party, how gutted she is, that someone she thought was a friend has let her down, that she had an amazing party planned but someone is 'too up themselves' to help her make her daughters happy on their birthdays

I'm itching to reply to the post, but I'm moaning on here instead.

I'm not going to change my mind, I've said no for, IMO, very good reasons. She can still have the amazing party, she'll just have to pay for it

She sounds like a dick.

She's a twat

And as for the passive aggressive FB post, call her out and unfriend her.

YANBU. Seems like your friend wanted something for nothing rather than having to pay for it.

I wouldn't count her as any kind of friend. She sounds like a total CF.

wow yanbu, the horse is not a toy

Yup, I second what Chienrouge said.
I'd be tempted to post a couple of links to her Facebook wall showing the damage a horse can do if spooked

YANBU

I like how she organised it without asking you so now had to 'cancel '.

Also either a total arse for sharing on fb about it, or a bit dim.

Bloody hell, YANBU. The party sounds like a recipe for disaster and torture for the poor pony. Your "friend" sounds bonkers!

Shes a twat

1 million percent not you BU.
She saw an opportunity to have an amazing party on the cheap, and forgot to consider the safety of her DDs and friends

Post something like you're really sorry but couldn't get the insurance needed as your horse can be temperamental at times.

You are not in the wrong. You are being completely responsible. She shouldn't just assume. It's not like she wants you to lend her a cake tin, it's an animal. I think maybe you're the one learning that your friend isn't who you thought she was.

Tell her if she sorts out insurance and signs a disclaimer that she alone is responsible for the safety of all the kids then you will reconsider. And gets all the parents to sign it!! She is a cf!! You must reply!!

Balls to her. You can't go planning and getting excited about an event that isn't actually happening.

I would be very very tempted to reply or maybe make my own pa post about how horses aren’t toys - which is probably why I stay off fb

You are doing very well to not reply, I wouldn't be able to control myself. What an idiot. YADNU

Also forgot to say, my main upset would be accosting your dd about it, that's not ok at all.

I was rolling my eyes at the unicorn stage. But putting glitter on a horse?! Oh ffs. What an entitled twat she is. You are so not the bad guy here. I'd be tempted to post just to point out that you provided an alternative and it's a shame that she didn't think her daughter wasn't worth actually spending money on (though my conscience might stop me from actually going through with posting)

YADNBU. How would she behave if you went along with her wishes and the horse got stressed and hurt a child?

I have a cute fluffy dog who is fine supervised around children but isn't really used to them and is a bit wary of them. It's ok when children or their parents ask if they can pet her and do so with me there checking she's enjoying it, but there are kids who think she's just a soft toy and they can run up to her shrieking. Animals deserve respect for who they are, and for everyone's safety can't be dressed up and mauled by children who don't understand that they aren't toys.

You know situations like these are pleasing if only to know on every level you are right.

She's a cheap, entitled person. The fact she accosted your child and made a public fb post about it all show her to be a pretty nasty unpleasant character when she doesn't get what she feels she is entitled to for free.

It's one of those scenarios that speaks for itself in her being a blatant tool.

Or you could just post that she wanted to cover a nervous pony in glitter and see how Facebook responds to that bright idea....

Yanbu. She sounds like a stupid dick tbh. Don’t reply on Facebook though, just block the silly human.