to think I'm not the bad guy here

[HorseCFery]

I've name changed for this. I think the friend in question is a MNetter and I don't want it linked to other stuff I've posted

Just as a bit of background, DD2 has been horse riding for several years and earlier this year we were really lucky to be able to find her her first horse.

Anyway, friend has 2 daughters, quite a bit younger than mine. Both are mad about unicorns and horses - neither have ever had any riding lessons or anything like that.

Friend's daughters have birthdays next weekend, and friend asked me if they could have a unicorn/pony party using DD's horse - apparently you can buy unicorn horns and glittery shit for horses, invite a few friends and spend a couple of hours grooming horse, putting flowers, glitter and ribbons on her, and have pony rides on her.

I've said no. Mainly for safety reasons. Horse is amazing but she's not what I would consider a plodder/riding school safe. She's not overly patient with grooming and not suitable for young children who have never ridden before. She is as good as gold with DD, but I'm not happy with letting young, complete beginners on her, even with adult supervision.

There is another riding school down the road who do exactly what she wants, so I gave her all the details.

Friend had been a total pain in the arse about it. Even accosted DD in the street and gave her a lecture about being kind and sharing.

I spoke to friend the other day, made it clear I was pissed off, that I wasn't going to change my mind and to give it a rest. She apologised and I thought that was the end of it.

I'm just having a quiet mooch on Facebook and see a post from her - apologising that she has to cancel next weekend's party, how gutted she is, that someone she thought was a friend has let her down, that she had an amazing party planned but someone is 'too up themselves' to help her make her daughters happy on their birthdays

I'm itching to reply to the post, but I'm moaning on here instead.

I'm not going to change my mind, I've said no for, IMO, very good reasons. She can still have the amazing party, she'll just have to pay for it

Presumably the DH will have to be covered in glitter and ahem given a horn first, Staples...

I don't know about the glitter but she might want him washed first? Definitely with the horn tho ...

I am laughing so hard about this. Bloody hell, some people are idiots. No need to cancel, you can still have a unicorn themed party without a horse. She could have even dressed up herself, the kids would have laughed so much!
It would just never ever occur to me to even bring a live animal to a kids party for their entertainment.

She's a twat.

Yellow buckets are extremely offensive!

Loving your style rainbowduck!

A yellow bucket!

They are bastards!!!

She is a prized twat and I would definitely unfriend her.

Angry Unicorn Cat says “Glitter, I don’t think so”

not my cat, just a random Internet cat

Why do they even make yellow buckets. DF has several that his cows take great umbrage with.

Why on earth should op apologize to the cf and make up excuses for not letting her use her horse?
She already told her why she wasn't using it.
The cf accosted her daughter ffs and berated her in the street! She owes her sfa.

Op told her she wasn't using the horse for safety reasons she doesnt need to make something up.

And she can hardly reply to a fb message that was taken down 2 days ago!

I like yellow buckets! They're so cheerful.

I can totally understand the aversion to yellow buckets.

DH is quite partial to a bit of glitter!

I don’t know why the hatred for the yellow bucket, someone had poo-picked the indoor school and forgotten to take the bucket away. Had a very amusing 5 minutes dancing around until I realised what was getting her knickers twisted.

She hates my bobble hat too. Her head collar and lead rope are kept on a hook outside her stable door and every day she chucks it on the floor. Every time I bend down to pick it up she pulls my hat off

Hhaha. I think you need a separate thread for your horse's exploits. She sounds awesome

And of course yanbu. Hope that everyone else told her what a dick she was being and she leaves you (and your dd) alone

What a ghastly woman.

I do hope this one #MakestheMail so she can read about what an unhinged moon-barker everyone thinks she is.

Ah ha! Tell her you’ve changed your mind. Give her a nice yellow bucket to carry the glitter and lend her your hat in case she gets cold. Stand back and film the result and sell it to You’ve Been Framed.

YADNBU. Your friend is an ignorant dick! She’s probably the type who would sue you if her kid got kicked or bitten! She was also well out of order to have a go at your daughter. Unfriend her!

You were absolutely not in the wrong here.

Taking away the safety aspect of it, at the end of the day you have every right to say no regardless.

She felt entitled because you’re friends and when you said no she tried the emotional blackmail route.

A real friend wouldn’t behave this way. If they had an issue they would approach your directly and discuss it, not plaster barely cryptic statuses on Facebook.

But then a real friend wouldn’t have taken the piss in the first place.

I had to treat my pony's legs yesterday for mites, and he took every opportunity possible to remove my woolly hat. It took twice as long as it should have, what with having to get my hat back every time :)

As an ex riding instructor and pony club teacher my view is that your response is spot on. Horses and ponies are notoriously unpredictable and are not suited to being treated like Sindy horses. Riding school horses and ponies however are selected and retained based on their temperament, age and suitability for prodding, poking and brushing by inexperienced children / adults. Even then things can go wrong but as much risk as possible has been removed.