You should not invite a vegetarian for Christmas if you have no intention of catering for them?

[Trueheart1]

You should not invite a vegetarian for Christmas dinner if you have no intention of catering for them?

I am a vegetarian. I went to my MIL's for Christmas dinner and all I could eat was Brussels sprouts, peas, carrots and potatoes. Without gravy!

The stuffing, gravy etc.. all had animal products.

There were 14 of us in total and 3 of us were very disappointed vegetarians.

I usually host and make sure everyone is catered for. I felt quite irritated, as I had offered to bring any part of the meal and if she had told me she was not catering for the vegetarians, I would have done it.

My MIL is very traditional and supports fox hunting. I suspect that she does not agree with being vegetarian and this was her passive aggressive way of showing that.

In every other way she is lovely and a great MIL. She wants us to come again next year. How do I politely make sure this does not happen again?

FFS "we've have 10 pages telling us to cook nut roast" - no, we've had lots of people saying why would you not cook something that your guests can eat and enjoy. Is it really that hard to understand?
If your guest is vegetarian, yes, nut roast might be suitable. If your guest has a nut allergy, and you know that, then no, that does not include nut roast.

I don't know what point the OP's or AndhowcouldIeverrefuse's MILs are trying to make, but as far as I am concerned they fail on basic hospitality. People eat or don't eat different things, for reasons of health, religion, ethics, allergies etc, and a decent host tries to cater for that.

I have fairly traditional in-laws, who grew up in the 40s and 50s. They don't like spicy or 'exotic' foods, or pulses, or tofu. I am vegetarian, and have spent half my life living overseas, mostly in Asia, and a lot of what I normally cook is stuff they would not like, so when they eat at my house, I cook standard, bland British or European foods (e.g. quiche or lasagne).

Their dislike of many foods I like could be seen as 'fussiness', so maybe some of you think they should just shut up and eat the perfectly delicious spicy Szechuan tofu I would rather be cooking?

Said that in my opinion, if you've got a special diet, for whatever reason, it's your own responsibility to ensure that you're catered for (as others are not duty bound to learn and get to grips with your diet and in MIL's case, there was food - it just wasn't good enough for the OP.)

Why do you keep completely ignoring people telling you that the OP offered to bring food but was told categorically by the MIL that she didn’t need to? I can’t work out how you are completely missing that point.

I'm shocked at the number of people who think it's fine to invite people round without making any effort to provide a decent meal they can eat.

If I invited a vegetarian for dinner I'd provide vegetarian food. For a vegan or people with allergies etc I'd discuss options with them and do my damned best to provide food they like and can eat, but if for whatever reason I couldn't I'd be happy for them to bring their own.

Op was being a bit ridiculous refusing the foods on offer IMO. The food has been provided already, eating it is not going to make any difference to animal welfare. Fair enough if you don't fancy a slab of meat, but for gravy surely you could just eat it? Your attitude is not going to help anyone. Lots of animals die to provide eggs, cheese, milk etc, so unless you are a strict vegan you are being very silly.

Mil was also wrong to fail to provide appropriate food

That's not how vegetarian/veganism works @carefreeeee. Being vegetarian is not very silly, do you have any idea how rude and dismissive that statement is? Being vegetarian causes the deaths of a lot fewer animals than being a meat eater, obviously. Being a vegan even fewer. It's a sliding scale not a black and white thing.

Which animals die to give us milk, @carefreeeee?

She'll be meaning the male calves that are unwanted from dairy cows.

Unbelievable!

The amount of people on here saying that vegetarians/vegans shouldn't impose their dietary choices on others, whilst simultaneously saying that they should've had the meat gravy 'to be polite' or that 'it wouldn't hurt them'

#irony

She'll be meaning the male calves that are unwanted from dairy cows.

Thanks for clarifying that. I must say it’s unusual to go 24 pages without someone - usually a meat-eater - banging on about cruelty in the dairy industry, so that’s a plus.

Weird how it's more often a meat eater than a vegan!

SuburbanRhonda; I'm not ignoring that point. She offered to bring her own food. She was told it wasn't necessary. MIL presumably assumed that there was enough to eat and OP doesn't say there wasn't. MIL, not being a vegetarian, but also a "lovely lady" according to the OP, presumably thought she'd done well to make some extra potatoes and veg and with the diet being completely alien to her (I assume - if she's into fox hunting?) she, in all likelihood, the way I see it, thought she'd done alright. Or maybe she's a bad bitch and she wanted to ruin Xmas for the OP. I don't know and tbh I no longer care. What works for us is to ensure that we have a bag full of belly fillers, just in case, no matter what we're expecting or are told. That way, no failings out, no bitterness, no big deal.