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Original poster

You should not invite a vegetarian for Christmas if you have no intention of catering for them?

586 replies

Trueheart1 · 29/12/2017 11:24

You should not invite a vegetarian for Christmas dinner if you have no intention of catering for them?

I am a vegetarian. I went to my MIL's for Christmas dinner and all I could eat was Brussels sprouts, peas, carrots and potatoes. Without gravy!

The stuffing, gravy etc.. all had animal products.

There were 14 of us in total and 3 of us were very disappointed vegetarians.

I usually host and make sure everyone is catered for. I felt quite irritated, as I had offered to bring any part of the meal and if she had told me she was not catering for the vegetarians, I would have done it.

My MIL is very traditional and supports fox hunting. I suspect that she does not agree with being vegetarian and this was her passive aggressive way of showing that.

In every other way she is lovely and a great MIL. She wants us to come again next year. How do I politely make sure this does not happen again?

OP posts:
Hallamoo · 01/01/2018 12:54

Hmm, I'm prepared to accept that roast potatoes might be a matter of opinion. Bisto vs proper gravy less so...

As I said, a matter of taste!

You can have your own opinions but you can't have your own facts!

Whinesalot · 01/01/2018 13:28

Given meat is a central part of a "traditional Christmas dinner" I would say it's impossible to do a vegetarian one

So you don't even try to do something to cater for your veggie guests? Regardless of the right or wrong of the above statement - its plain crap hosting.
It's not hard to bung a nut roast in and do a bit of different gravy.

LoniceraJaponica · 01/01/2018 13:46

"Given meat is a central part of a "traditional Christmas dinner" I would say it's impossible to do a vegetarian one"

Wow! Such ignorance on here Hmm

We had a "traditional" Christmas dinner, but the only difference was the vegetarian main dish instead of turkey. Everything else was the same accompaniment that I would have done if I had done turkey. I use olive oil for roasting root vegetables. Sage and onion stuffing is vegetarian anyway, I made vegetarian gravy from scratch, and the vegetables were just vegetables without any bits of bacon added.

I did cheat and make pigs in blankets for OH and me as an extra side dish though.

Branleuse · 01/01/2018 14:07

A traditional christmas dinner is just a big roast dinner, with whatever the hell you like as the main. My mum has been vegetarian for 30 years, so most of my childhood xmas dinners were actually a nut roast. We used to get one that you added water to in a plastic tray and baked it. It sounds revolting, but it was nice and I rather miss it.

IsaSchmisa · 01/01/2018 14:20

I must say rhonda I'm not sure people are going to be applying that sort of thinking to Christmas. It's not a particularly sustainable time of year generally!

People reducing their meat consumption for environmental reasons on non feast days, yes. The population eating less meat at Christmas as a whole because more people go veggie, also a realistic possibility. Our view of traditional British Christmas food changing as the population gets more diverse and incorporate customary (also usually flesh based...) dishes from other countries, also yes. But your hypothesis? That'd be quite some sea change.

ppeatfruit · 01/01/2018 14:58

Comparing Bistx gravy (including the veg. one) to veg. onion or meat gravy, properly made with wine etc. is like comparing a pound shop bar of 'chocolate' to a chocolate from Hotel Chocolat.

notacooldad · 01/01/2018 15:26

"Given meat is a central part of a "traditional Christmas dinner" I would say it's impossible to do a vegetarian one"*
That's hilarious!
DP has booked a turkey crown Christmas dinner for the last 30 years but has managed to do a veggie dinner with not much effort.
Mashes carrots
Roast potatoes
Honey roast parsnip
Honey roasted sprouts and chestnuts
Gravy meat based
Gravy veg based
Yorkshire puddings
Turkey or nut roast.
No big deal or fuss.

SoupDragon · 01/01/2018 15:53

So you don't even try to do something to cater for your veggie guests?

Confused I said nothing of the sort nor did I imply it.

We had a "traditional" Christmas dinner, but the only difference was the vegetarian main dish instead of turkey.

No, you had a vegetarian Christmas dinner.

Anyway, you should have been able to tell from the smile emoji after my comment that I wasn’t being entirely serious. I am not ignorant in the slightest.

SoupDragon · 01/01/2018 15:55

DP has booked a turkey crown Christmas dinner for the last 30 years but has managed to do a veggie dinner with not much effort.

Yes. So he has made a “traditional” Christmas dinner and a vegetarian alternative. Nothing hilarious at all.

I give up. 🙄

SoupDragon · 01/01/2018 15:57

I used to provide a vegetarian alternative for years plus all accompaniments were suitable. (There are no vegetarians any more so there’s no need at the moment)

Hallamoo · 01/01/2018 17:01

I'd say the meat is only a part of a traditional Christmas dinner. It's more about the trimmings.

Who's to say turkey is traditional? Didn't it used to be goose? Our 'tradition' is nut wellington.

oblada · 01/01/2018 17:22

Well at least I've now learned (Google!) What a nut roast is and I shall try this sometimes :)

Still think it's perfectly reasonable to have a meal with the Xmas vegs only without a clear 'veggie alternative' to the meat.

SuburbanRhonda · 01/01/2018 17:25

I must say rhonda I'm not sure people are going to be applying that sort of thinking to Christmas. It's not a particularly sustainable time of year generally!

I live in hope Smile

woodhill · 01/01/2018 17:30

My dd came over with dh and brought a vegetarian dish and stuffing and made separate. I was grateful they brought stuff but if this was not possible I would have made suitable stuff for them

Yanbu

Mumof56 · 01/01/2018 17:31

I used to provide a vegetarian alternative for years plus all accompaniments were suitable. (There are no vegetarians any more so there’s no need at the moment)

Hmm If the vegetarian dinner is superior I ponder why the return to the more traditional meat inclusive version

Hallamoo · 01/01/2018 17:46

Mumof56, I think you and Soupdragon are on the same page.

Are you going to start arguing with each other, I'll get the (vegan) popcorn 😉

IsaSchmisa · 01/01/2018 20:40

It did used to be goose, but it's been a meal involving some form of roasted meat for centuries. The traditional Christmas meal in the UK most definitely involves roasted meat. There's not really any getting round that.

But yes of course families make their own traditions. If you and yours have done beans on toast for decades, that's your personal tradition and you have every right to value it as such. Same with nut roast, curry or anything else you like.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 01/01/2018 21:04

Meat gravy is superior, meat roasted potatoes are superior

Only if you like the taste of meat- I don't.

Gwenhwyfar · 01/01/2018 21:08

"Still think it's perfectly reasonable to have a meal with the Xmas vegs only without a clear 'veggie alternative' to the meat."

Totally agree and this is what I usually choose to have.

exexpat · 01/01/2018 22:44

IsaSchmisa - not all European countries have meat-centric Christmas traditions. I would quite happily go for a Polish Christmas meal (traditionally meat-free) and just avoid the one or two fish dishes: culture.pl/en/article/the-12-dishes-of-polish-christmas

For those saying that Christmas food is traditionally meat based so vegetarians should just eat some plain veg and be grateful - really? Are you so hung up on 'tradition' that you would not try to be hospitable and provide something your guests would enjoy eating? If so, I hope you warn your guests in advance so that they can decline the invitation and go somewhere more welcoming, or at least say yes when they offer to bring something vegetarian.

IsaSchmisa · 01/01/2018 22:57

Yeah Poles eat fish, the carp is traditionally the centre piece. Or so I'm told anyway (and my Polish pal is actually a vegan as it happens!). So although obviously anyone who just wants the veggie bits is NBU, I'd not want to miss out on that myself.

I didn't think a meal where the fish is the main dish would count as not a flesh fest though. I know some people who eat fish call themselves veggie, but have read enough bunfights on here to be aware they shouldn't!

IsaSchmisa · 01/01/2018 23:05

On googling I've also seen that they eat meat on the 25th itself, which I hadn't realised. Makes sense though, as the fish only thing is because of rules about fasting which don't apply after Christmas Eve.

AssassinatedBeauty · 01/01/2018 23:12

I'd feel somewhat unwelcome if I was offered the vegetable accompaniments to the rest of the meal. Especially if I'd offered to bring a vegetarian main with me and was told it wasn't necessary. Isn't Christmas supposed to be celebratory and warm/welcoming? People seem to delight in making other people unwelcome. It's odd.

Whinesalot · 02/01/2018 01:36

comparing Bistx gravy (including the veg. one) to veg. onion or meat gravy, properly made with wine etc. is like comparing a pound shop bar of 'chocolate' to a chocolate from Hotel Chocolat.

Hotel Chocolat chocolate is horrible.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 02/01/2018 01:42

Hotel Chocolat chocolate is horrible

Completely off track but that was my thought too.