How batshit do I need to go?

[anotherBadAvatar]

xmas Day at DM’s house yesterday- me, DH, DD1(3yrs) and DD2(6m).

She has a dog I’m not overly fond of. It’s neurotic, highly strung and not fabulously behaved. We have a dog too, for the record, so I’m not anti-dogs at all.

DD1 got v close to DM’s dog face yesterday, saying “hellooo doggy”, but not touching her, and the dog bit her lip. Not terribly, but there was no warning, and poor DD was understandably hysterical afterwards. I had just told DD1 to leave the dog alone when it happened.

This was not the first time DM’s dog has nipped DD1. The last time, she was about 18m old, when she grabbed the dog’s back to steady herself.

DD1 is used to dogs, and I know I should have kept her away from the dog, especially knowing it’s history, but it all happened so quickly. DM didn’t even offer an apology.

We’re back at home now, would I be U to tell her the children are never to be around her dog again?

If you can't keep your children safe then you have no other option.
Getting in the face of a dog is aggressive behaviour. Watch how dogs greet each other. Lots of bum sniffing! Eye contact is rude.
I bet the dog did give a warning but not understanding dog behaviour you didn't realise.

You knew the dog was unreliably behaved, you could have stopped her getting so close to it

Yanbu to keep away from the dog next time. Ywbu to go batshit

You obviously knew your daughter shouldn’t be that close to the dog as you had told her to leave the dog alone. I don’t think you have any right to go batshit. What for exactly?
I think you either need to supervise much more closely or not have your children round the dog. Maybe invite mil to yours from now on? Without her dog obviously.

I think you need to batshit at yourself.

You need to teach your children the importance of giving dogs space and to never get in their faces. The dog likely felt threatened and reacted accordingly.

Its yourself you should be angry with, not your MIL or the poor dog

Difficult. I would absolutely say that the dog needs to be kept separate while the children are in the house, and I don’t think I’d let them go again if you didn’t get that reassurance and were sure it would be adhered to.

Neither incident was the dog’s “fault” but a child still got bitten.

You knew the dog could not be trusted, but allowed your child to get in it's face anyway?! I'm finding it difficult to blame dm or dog here...

Not your place to go batshit - you let a 3yo go right up to the dog's face? That was irresponsible, you should have picked her up or not let her get so close in the first place, rather than just telling her to stop and expecting her to.

If it had been MIL supervising then OK - but it sounds like you were except not adequately enough.

Has your DD recieved medical attention?

You are not unreasonable to keep your children away from that dog for all their sakes.

If you knew the dog had bitten before, why the fuck was your 3 yo close enough to the dog’s mouth for it to happen again? That’s your fault, not the dog’s.

This is your fault, or your mil’s and not the dog: you know the dog isn’t tolerant and has reacted poorly before. Why did you not protect your child?

If you have your own dog then you should be a lot more proactive about teaching your children how to/how not to behave around dogs and keeping them in separate rooms if necessary. Any dog can turn, especially with an annoying child shouting hello doggy in its face.

As a dog owner your dc should know not to get in a dogs face.

Don’t go batshit. You were supervising in each circumstance so you are responsible.

However next time you visit it would not be unreasonable to ask for the dog to be put in another room as your DD clearly isn’t safe around the dog.

You are the one at fault here for allowing your daughter to do that. My DD was bitten in the same way age five sadly by our family pet who had never bitten before. If she ever did that to a dog now I would go batshit at her and she knows it.

You know what the dog is like.

If your dm won't control it YOU have to take control of the situation.

Agree it is your fault.

We had our dogs long before we had DS so I knew them inside out. Never would I have let him be in a position where he would grab them for any reason or be up in their faces like that.

Don’t put your children in a room with a known vicious dog!

Definitely do not let your small child put their face within biting distance of a savage dog for a second time.

Are you waiting for mils dog to maim, scar or kill?

You're at fault here sorry

The only person to blame here is you OP. Everyone knows you don't get too close to a dogs face, and you let a small child do it.

I wouldn't take my kids anywhere near a dog the bites... Fuck THAT

I have a toddler and a 6 month old, I wouldn't let either of my kids around dogs, they are unpredictable animals. My aunty had a dog for years, tame as anything we used to go round as kids and play with it for hours in the school hols. One day it just randomly bit my aunty on the arm, hard. She had it put down as she didn't want it to do the same to a child's face. If this dog has done similar before she should be questioning if she should even be keeping this dog in my opinion.

With kids that young the responsibility is on you to protect them. And move them away if necessary. You told your daughter to move away. Why didn’t you move her yourself when she didn’t listen to you?

A dog with a history of biting needs to be kept well away from children and ESPECIALLY toddlers.

Toddlers just don't have the skills or knowledge to avoid situations which might make them bite.

Of course the dog and the children need to be kept apart.

My MIl had a dog like this and everytime we came, it went into the garden. Why wouldn't it?

You can't go batshit at all. Dogs and toddler/small children can't be trusted together. Ever. They need to be kept separate or very heavily supervised from now on. Either you and your MIL will agree to that or you won't, in which case you can't visit.