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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it’s time to break up with OH?

250 replies

Indigo911 · 25/12/2017 20:54

Been with OH a year. We don’t live together and are both early 30s. No kids.
There have also been a lot of red flags throughout our relationship and I think I’m finally done.
Some examples - he has split up with me multiple times and is often very hot and cold. He admitted one of the reasons he kept getting cold feet was because I’m overweight (I’m a size 12-14 and I’m tall so I only look very slightly overweight). He seems to have a real issue with anyone overweight and makes horrible remarks about people on tv etc.
I had a brain MRI last week because of possible MS and he took me to the appointment. I was clearly incredibly anxious beforehand and he didn’t try and comfort me at all or offer any sort of support/sympathy.
Afterwards we were meant to go out for lunch and to the cinema as something nice for me to get my mind off things. He decided he was too tired and just wanted to lie in bed at mine all day and watch TV in a foul mood.
Today on Xmas day I’ve had two brief texts from him all day even though I know he’s just sitting at his dad’s doing nothing. He got me a crap gift too with no thought put into it.
Reading this back I have no idea why I’ve been putting up with it all. I always thought I was a strong, independent person who never put up with any shit. My self esteem has taken a real knock and I guess I’m at that age where I want to settle down so maybe I’m clinging onto the ‘what ifs’ and hope I can change him.
We are due to spend New Years together and I’m going to tell him I don’t want to. Enough is enough

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 25/12/2017 20:55

You’re worth more. Dump his sorry ass.

Spartaca · 25/12/2017 20:56

Why are you with him? You don't live together and owe him nothing. I'd give him the boot here and now.

user1471451564 · 25/12/2017 20:56

Good for you!! (Hard as it may be). Flowers

Rainbowsandflowers78 · 25/12/2017 20:56

Good for you. If you are having health problems especially you don’t need anyone who will be negative in your life

19lottie82 · 25/12/2017 20:56

OP, YABVVVU............. to even ask! Dump the plonker NOW (even if it is Christmas) and start the new year a fresh!

MistyMinge · 25/12/2017 20:57

You don't need any help with this one. I think you know what you need to do.

2018 will probably be a much better year Flowers

hidinginthenightgarden · 25/12/2017 20:57

Let him go. Start the new year fresh without the weight of him hanging over you.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 25/12/2017 20:58

There's settling and there's lying down and giving up! You won't meet anyone better while you are wasting your time with this dud. Good choice to move on.

WhooooAmI24601 · 25/12/2017 20:58

The best Christmas gift you can give yourself this year is to break up with him. He sounds like he adds absolutely nothing to your life.

constantlyseekinghappiness · 25/12/2017 20:58

You deserve better! I would much rather be alone than with someone and unhappy.

underthebluemoon · 25/12/2017 20:58

I think you are making a good decision. Listen to your gut.

Foodylicious · 25/12/2017 20:59

Definitely time to move on!

Jaxinthebox · 25/12/2017 20:59

ooft get rid now! Go forth into 2018 and get your confidence back.

Bumbelinadance · 25/12/2017 20:59

You know the answer to this I think . It takes courage but early 30s is young . He is showing himself to be unsupportive now , and rather selfish . Imagine how much harder that would be if you have kids with him ?
Please be super brave and walk away .

How were the results of your MRI ? Do you have support in rl ?

💐

Sparkletastic · 25/12/2017 20:59

End it today. You'll be far happier without him.

MamaMotherMummy · 25/12/2017 21:00

Good for you for noticing now rather than later. Reclaim your dignity and self respect back! Smile

NotAChristmasCakePop · 25/12/2017 21:01

Yes, sounds like you could do with ditching him for the new year!

FlouncyDoves · 25/12/2017 21:02

Text him:

Merry Christmas. You’re dumped.

Fuckoffee · 25/12/2017 21:02

Give yourself the best Christmas present and end it. It sounds to be a dreadful relationship. Better to be alone than with someone like that x

splatattack · 25/12/2017 21:03

LTB!!! Good luck!

Cary2012 · 25/12/2017 21:05

I hope your scan results are fine.
Of course you should dump him.
You are better than him and you know it.
Take control and good luck.
And when was a tall size 14 anything other than gorgeous?

Indigo911 · 25/12/2017 21:05

Haven’t had results of MRI yet as they said it could be up to 3-4 weeks for them due to it being Xmas time. My family are very supportive and live nearby.
Having a baby with him fills me with utter dread as he would no doubt have serious issues with me gaining any weight. Plus i’d Have to put up with his constant hot and cold behaviour day in day out. It is draining the life out of me.
He is very handsome and does have moments of being the perfect boyfriend. But then he just goes back to being horrible and making me feel insecure about myself. He says things like “when you lose some weight and get a body like a Victoria Secret Model i’ll Ask you to marry me”. He does it in a jokey way but I still feel incredibly hurt and upset. Think I’ve been clinging onto him too because of the health problems and having a shitty year. I’ve been a fool

OP posts:
Polarbearflavour · 25/12/2017 21:07

You have no ties to this man, you can easily walk away. You will be much happier without him.

TheLegendOfBeans · 25/12/2017 21:08

Oh fuck that. Life is too short, it really is.

Greenshoots1 · 25/12/2017 21:09

being handsome is worth nothing