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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it’s time to break up with OH?

250 replies

Indigo911 · 25/12/2017 20:54

Been with OH a year. We don’t live together and are both early 30s. No kids.
There have also been a lot of red flags throughout our relationship and I think I’m finally done.
Some examples - he has split up with me multiple times and is often very hot and cold. He admitted one of the reasons he kept getting cold feet was because I’m overweight (I’m a size 12-14 and I’m tall so I only look very slightly overweight). He seems to have a real issue with anyone overweight and makes horrible remarks about people on tv etc.
I had a brain MRI last week because of possible MS and he took me to the appointment. I was clearly incredibly anxious beforehand and he didn’t try and comfort me at all or offer any sort of support/sympathy.
Afterwards we were meant to go out for lunch and to the cinema as something nice for me to get my mind off things. He decided he was too tired and just wanted to lie in bed at mine all day and watch TV in a foul mood.
Today on Xmas day I’ve had two brief texts from him all day even though I know he’s just sitting at his dad’s doing nothing. He got me a crap gift too with no thought put into it.
Reading this back I have no idea why I’ve been putting up with it all. I always thought I was a strong, independent person who never put up with any shit. My self esteem has taken a real knock and I guess I’m at that age where I want to settle down so maybe I’m clinging onto the ‘what ifs’ and hope I can change him.
We are due to spend New Years together and I’m going to tell him I don’t want to. Enough is enough

OP posts:
BattleCunt · 25/12/2017 21:10

Treat him the same way he's treated you - with little empathy. Send him a text telling him it's over. Maybe then he'll understand what it's like to be on the receiving end of cold.

Sounds like a real shitbike.

Sparklesocks · 25/12/2017 21:11

If your best friend came to you with this problem, and described the man you have, would you tell her to chuck him or put up with it?

If you’d tell her she’d deserve a partner who treated her better and saw her for the fab person she is, why not apply that same advice to yourself?

Darkbendis · 25/12/2017 21:12

What a plonker! Dump and move on, this is the best present you can give yourself this Christmas.

Cary2012 · 25/12/2017 21:13

Shitbike.
Love that.
Cockwomble begone,you are sooo 2017.

MontyPythonsFlyingFuck · 25/12/2017 21:14

So he's a handsome, shallow, sulky fool? He sounds SO attractive.

Booboobooboo84 · 25/12/2017 21:14

Oh sweetheart mumsnet Christmas gift to you is you get to kiss someone new at midnight New Year’s Eve cos that utter cockwomble doesn’t deserve you

Mrstrumpalot · 25/12/2017 21:15

Get out whilst you have absolutely no ties to him.

ButtMuncher · 25/12/2017 21:15

Oh wow he's an utter shitstain. I second the idea of texting him to tell him he is dumped. What an absolute tosspot.

Straycatblue · 25/12/2017 21:15

He says things like “when you lose some weight and get a body like a Victoria Secret Model i’ll Ask you to marry me”.

Tell him youve seen the light and found a quick and easy way to lose the dead weight you've been carrying.

To think it’s time to break up with OH?
shouldaknownbetter · 25/12/2017 21:17

You'll get such a sense of liberation and empowerment when you dump his sorry arse, that will outweigh any fear of the new IME. You're sending a strong message to yourself about what you're worth. Do it and don't look back.

Indigo911 · 25/12/2017 21:18

Haha shitebike, shit stain and cock womble! So funny!

I know I would definitely tell a friend in the same situation to run for her life and never look back. I hate going through break ups but I know if I don’t i’ll Never meet someone lovely who will cherish me

OP posts:
oldmum22 · 25/12/2017 21:18

You know the answer already . Text him "Merry Christmas to you . Have decided that since you haven't grown a personality,you are fired. Goodbye."
You need real support from real caring people to get through whatever is ahead of you . Good luck and good luck with the MRI results .

Gemini69 · 25/12/2017 21:19

he's vile.. he'll never change or improve his personality or demeanor... kick this scumbag to the kerb.. find a man who cherishes every part of you Flowers

LuxuryWoman2017 · 25/12/2017 21:20

Give yourself a Christmas gift and just dump him, block him and forget him.

He might look handsome but he sounds and ugly soul.

1DAD2KIDS · 25/12/2017 21:21

Stuff that. Move on. Find someone who has some respect.

AlbaSelkie · 25/12/2017 21:22

Definitely call it quits.

You are not fat and if you settle for him, you'll be watching your weight out of the corner of one eye for the rest of your life. What's your BMI? What's his?! Tell him he's too fat for you!

Or, Marie Kondo him. Thank him for revealing to you that he is not able to meet your very normal needs and release him back in to the wild for some other poor woman!

bimbobaggins · 25/12/2017 21:22

I’m surprised you even need to ask if he has already broken up with you multiple times. He’s treating you like shit and you continuing to allow it shows him you don’t think you are worth more.
Get bloody rid. No one needs to put up with this crap

BewareOfDragons · 25/12/2017 21:22

He's a jackass, clearly no prize himself personality-wise.

You're doing the right thing. Life is too short to be treated like crap and be treated as an afterthought.

Indigo911 · 25/12/2017 21:23

When I went for the scan I was shaking and very upset. When my name was called he was just like “bye, see you after”. No hug or good luck.

OP posts:
treeofhearts · 25/12/2017 21:24

Fuck that for a lark. Who wants to live like that? Ditch him and find someone who is worth your time OP.

Indigo911 · 25/12/2017 21:24

@alba my BMI is 26 and his is something like 18 as he’s very tall and skinny. Too skinny. So he has a bloody cheek to make remarks about other people’s bodies

OP posts:
DeriArms · 25/12/2017 21:25

Another vote for getting rid. Life is too short and you're worth more x

AlbaSelkie · 25/12/2017 21:25

Ps, it's great you don't live with him and don't have any children. You can get rid of this guy with one text.

My children's father was very handsome and I admit that back when I met him I guess I felt validated by having a boyfriend who was more handsome than I was pretty (I felt). Maybe he wasn't, but he was tall and loved himself. It was as another poster says not worth shit because he treated me like he was doing me a favour. Give me an ordinary looking man with a GREAT personality who values you any day of the week from now on.

WasDoingFine · 25/12/2017 21:26

Oh yuck. He doesnt sound attractive at all.

PoorYorick · 25/12/2017 21:27

A man who thinks size 12-14 is fat (I'm assuming you're not three feet tall) knows so little about women's bodies that he probably doesn't know how to impregnate you anyway. I expect he couldn't find your clit if he was taken there by Kenton Cool.

Plus he is a gigantic arsehole and my God why would you want to be married to an anus?