To think it’s time to break up with OH?

[Indigo911]

Been with OH a year. We don’t live together and are both early 30s. No kids.
There have also been a lot of red flags throughout our relationship and I think I’m finally done.
Some examples - he has split up with me multiple times and is often very hot and cold. He admitted one of the reasons he kept getting cold feet was because I’m overweight (I’m a size 12-14 and I’m tall so I only look very slightly overweight). He seems to have a real issue with anyone overweight and makes horrible remarks about people on tv etc.
I had a brain MRI last week because of possible MS and he took me to the appointment. I was clearly incredibly anxious beforehand and he didn’t try and comfort me at all or offer any sort of support/sympathy.
Afterwards we were meant to go out for lunch and to the cinema as something nice for me to get my mind off things. He decided he was too tired and just wanted to lie in bed at mine all day and watch TV in a foul mood.
Today on Xmas day I’ve had two brief texts from him all day even though I know he’s just sitting at his dad’s doing nothing. He got me a crap gift too with no thought put into it.
Reading this back I have no idea why I’ve been putting up with it all. I always thought I was a strong, independent person who never put up with any shit. My self esteem has taken a real knock and I guess I’m at that age where I want to settle down so maybe I’m clinging onto the ‘what ifs’ and hope I can change him.
We are due to spend New Years together and I’m going to tell him I don’t want to. Enough is enough

Thanks everyone.
I feel tired and really sad about it all but I know it’s the right thing to do. There’s no point being with someone who I feel insecure and miserable around.
He sent me a long text saying how sorry he is and I’m his perfect woman and he’s never meant to upset me etc.
It’s all very easy to say things like that now. Doesn’t take away the months of stress and unhappiness he’s given me.
I haven’t replied and am watching a film now to distract myself

Don't fall for the suicide threats. Disc's foul abusive ex used to swear blind he would kill himself if she left, and even made a couple of half-hearted gestures when they have major rows. She finally managed to leave him completely, and despite blood-curdling threats that he was going to take an overdose and slash his wrists, a year later he's still going strong and probably making some other unfortunate woman's life hell.

If you were his perfect woman, why would he need to go on at you about your weight...... OP, hope you get your chance to chill out and relax.

Deep what suicide threats?

Well done. I know there is a NC thread in Relationships which may be helpful for you?

What are you watching?

Well done OP. Once all his stuff is gone I’d just block him.

Don't fall for it! It's a cycle with people like this. It's how they maintain control because they can't have a healthy, balanced relationship, they're insecure and so try to make you so, too, by keeping you on the back foot. There's no such thing as a perfect person, and actions speak louder than words. He spent months wearing you down, making you feel bad about yourself, making you feel like you were a problem. Just read this thread back to yourself. Save it in watched threads to keep you going. Hopefully you just told him the truth: he's unsupportive, negs you, niggles about weight all the time, makes you feel anxious and miserable and you deserve more than that, a real partner, so you need to move on and then just leave it.

He's unkind at the least.

You deserve more than that.

Why on earth did you take him back the first time he ‘split’ with you?

See the NC thread in Relationships. If he's dumped you several times he will play a game to get back with you and then do it again. Going NC gets rid of him for good. He's bad news. ANYONE who is this into body shaming is BAD NEWS.

If you were his perfect woman, why did he keep going on about your weight? He'll say anything to get you back. He'll make promises to change, he'll offer you the moon, and if that still doesn't work, he'll get nasty.

Just block him. You don't need to listen to all his bullshit.

AstridWhite
Deep what suicide threats? confused

Astrid, the OP posted earlier in the thread that when she had tried to break up with him before he threatened suicide.

Indigo911
I tried to split up with him a few months back as was really hurt by something he had said. He was saying he’d kill himself

Astrid he’s threatened suicide in the past.

Oops cross post.

Stay strong op!

OP, you deserve much more than this & you know this. Just think for all the time you're with him - you could be with the RIGHT person, stop wasting your time on this guy.

Stay Strong OP. You are worth so much more than him.

So what if you're "his perfect woman"? What matters is he's not your perfect man.

Did you say about the body thing. The scan etc

Start 2018 as the smart independent successful,single woman you are.
Leave behind nasty judgemental bf.

Please follow this through. You deserve to be cherished and happy and that is not going to happen with this guy.

Good luck, stay strong.

good for you. Stay strong. You are worth far more than his miserable personality

Stay strong! Move on!

You could block his number and then you know you won’t have to be bothered by him.

Well done.

How was last night OP?

Hope he stayed under his rock. Too skinny to lift it so fingers crossed 😉🤞🏻

oh for heaven's sake, what a loser he is.