To think it’s time to break up with OH?

[Indigo911]

Been with OH a year. We don’t live together and are both early 30s. No kids.
There have also been a lot of red flags throughout our relationship and I think I’m finally done.
Some examples - he has split up with me multiple times and is often very hot and cold. He admitted one of the reasons he kept getting cold feet was because I’m overweight (I’m a size 12-14 and I’m tall so I only look very slightly overweight). He seems to have a real issue with anyone overweight and makes horrible remarks about people on tv etc.
I had a brain MRI last week because of possible MS and he took me to the appointment. I was clearly incredibly anxious beforehand and he didn’t try and comfort me at all or offer any sort of support/sympathy.
Afterwards we were meant to go out for lunch and to the cinema as something nice for me to get my mind off things. He decided he was too tired and just wanted to lie in bed at mine all day and watch TV in a foul mood.
Today on Xmas day I’ve had two brief texts from him all day even though I know he’s just sitting at his dad’s doing nothing. He got me a crap gift too with no thought put into it.
Reading this back I have no idea why I’ve been putting up with it all. I always thought I was a strong, independent person who never put up with any shit. My self esteem has taken a real knock and I guess I’m at that age where I want to settle down so maybe I’m clinging onto the ‘what ifs’ and hope I can change him.
We are due to spend New Years together and I’m going to tell him I don’t want to. Enough is enough

Yes it does: chuck this one ASAP. He would have a LOT worse in store for you if you stayed with him. The selfishness and mood swings are just the warm up act!

Please don’t think he will change, or that you will be able to change him. He is an arse and you will break your heart trying to achieve the impossible. You are unhappy now, but believe me, a child conceived through a sperm bank would be easier to raise than a child with him as the father. He’s already corroding your spirit and shown that he doesn’t care about you as a real person.

text him now and tell him

Just drop him a text saying he’s not been supportive, you’ve noticed his constant attempts to undermine and control you. He’s picked the wring person to try and treat like this and is therefore dumped

Seeing him tomorrow so will do it face to face. Have to see him as he’s coming to mine to get some boxes of stuff that he was storing at mine (he’s renovating his house). I feel totally worn out with it all and just want to have loads of time to myself to chill. It has been a shitty year

Yep. Your title says it all.
Spend 2018 on yourself so by next Christmas you get the bloke you deserve. Which you will.

Enough is enough.
You're right.

And 12-14 is not overweight, the guy's nuts.

Bid him Au Revoir 👋👋👋

Imagine if not only came the inevitable weight gain of being pregnant but you got v.ill when pregnant. I vomited constantly all day every day throughout my pregnancies. He wouldn't be interested in holding your hand would he? That's al you need to know.

It's very easy for us to say 'LTB' but I've been the poster asking if I should leave my DP and MN were bang on. Hope you are okay OP xx

Urgh he sounds horrible, find a decent guy who respects you and can make a bit of effort. Good luck with the breaking up and have a good new year - don't look back

Actually - starting Enti wonder if this man is an ex of mine. He was a controlling scrawny knob that set out to isolate me and undermine my self confidence

Good. Be prepared for him to be shocked and incredulous that you are turning down such a splendid specimen, and for him to say a few nasty things as a result of the damage to his over-inflated ego.
Come back to MN for a few rude comments an£ offers of to help the celebrations along.

OP, I am in my sixties and very overweight due to severe illness. My belly has got very fat over the past year and I am also letting my grey hair grow out. DH tells me that I am beautiful every day. We have been together for more than thirty years. (No, he isn’t blind!)

Find someone like this. You deserve to be loved for yourself.

You sound wonderful and he just sounds like a massive prick. Enjoy the dumping tomorrow, it’s timd his ego took a battering the way he has been hammering yours.

You aren't going to meet Mr Right whilst you are still with Mr Wrong. Life is to short and precious to waste on this miserable relationship. True happiness awaits.

The part where sometimes he’s the perfect boyfriend, and other times he’s horrible - that sounds to me like he is gaslighting you. He is making sure you never know where you stand with him, never get to relax or feel comfortable in the relationship.

That is a really cruel thing to do to anyone. You deserve so much better!

God, he sounds like a controlling arsehole. You'll be so much better off without him in your life.

Don't break up by giving him a list of his faults and debating the issues. Make it quick. "I don't want to be together any more. It isn't the right relationship for me."

Bin this absolute loser immediately!

He's unworthy of a good woman. Dump asap.

I really wish you the best of luck, please chuck him, you can do so much better. You're obviously not comfortable and that's one of the most important things in a long-term relationship - feeling comfortable around one another.

Good luck tomorrow. Don't let him whine and cajole you into changing your mind.

My goodness he’s quite the prize isn’t he?
Not! He might be good looking but his behaviour is ugly.

I hope that you come back on here tomorrow with an update that has the only thing you can do which is dump him. He sounds so toxic and self absorbed (and trust me I know one of these fuckers when I see one)

Good luck with tomorrow.

Walking away might seem like a step backwards from settling down but it is of course a step forwards. You need to be free to meet your partner. But you know that. Good luck X 💐

Make it your New Years resolution to dump him.

No good being handsome if you act ugly.

I'd love you to buy him a barbie doll in a wedding dress and stuff it up his arse and tell him your leaving him with his perfect woman.
But if you don't have time to go toy shopping, Just dump him anyway, and tell him mumsnet have got his number , and he'll probably never be able to date again.