To think it’s time to break up with OH?

[Indigo911]

Been with OH a year. We don’t live together and are both early 30s. No kids.
There have also been a lot of red flags throughout our relationship and I think I’m finally done.
Some examples - he has split up with me multiple times and is often very hot and cold. He admitted one of the reasons he kept getting cold feet was because I’m overweight (I’m a size 12-14 and I’m tall so I only look very slightly overweight). He seems to have a real issue with anyone overweight and makes horrible remarks about people on tv etc.
I had a brain MRI last week because of possible MS and he took me to the appointment. I was clearly incredibly anxious beforehand and he didn’t try and comfort me at all or offer any sort of support/sympathy.
Afterwards we were meant to go out for lunch and to the cinema as something nice for me to get my mind off things. He decided he was too tired and just wanted to lie in bed at mine all day and watch TV in a foul mood.
Today on Xmas day I’ve had two brief texts from him all day even though I know he’s just sitting at his dad’s doing nothing. He got me a crap gift too with no thought put into it.
Reading this back I have no idea why I’ve been putting up with it all. I always thought I was a strong, independent person who never put up with any shit. My self esteem has taken a real knock and I guess I’m at that age where I want to settle down so maybe I’m clinging onto the ‘what ifs’ and hope I can change him.
We are due to spend New Years together and I’m going to tell him I don’t want to. Enough is enough

Just seen him. Went to his car to tell him it was over as didn’t want to do it around my family members. He got very upset and said he couldn’t believe I thought so little of him and he can change. Stuff he’s said before.
I just told him I was beyond exhausted with it all and didn’t want to get into a debate so could he come and move his boxes and then leave.
He was crying and saying how depressed he felt but he did what I asked and has gone now. Expecting him to send lots of texts when he gets home

Go OP!!!! You’ve handled it completely right! Maybe you want to block him for a while so you don’t see the texts and attempted manipulation?

Well maybe this will teach him to have a bit of basic human respect for women.

Well done.

Expect the martyrdom to reach critical mass before it abates!

Well done OP! Whatever he says or does, it's not your problem, don't get sucked in, stay uninterested and detached. Please don't be manipulated - dozens of us on here can tell you this man won't change, though he'll swear he will. You are giving yourself a future free of his drama, control and nastiness - you deserve it :)

Just read back a bit. Wow.

''Cheer up grump'' translates as ''never complain''.

You are SO well out of this.

Well done!!!

Well done OP. Box up his stuff, tell him when and where to collect it and then block his number.

Go in to 2018 free and with no one to please but yourself!

well done op

I know it's never easy. But I'm so happy for you. As others have said, be prepared for the self pitying texts to start.

Here's to an awesome 2018

Well done, you've definitely done the right thing. Now celebrate with your visitors!

Well done! Now block his number so you can't see the texts.

He will text/call/e-mail - ignore him.

Any threats of suicide will be empty - he thinks too much of himself (but even he did do something extreme - IT WOULD NOT BE YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!). You are not his carer.

You have done a very difficult and courageous thing in finishing this "relationship" which seemed to serve only him. You are strong and have your family round you. Let them help you to remain firm when he starts playing on your emotions.

I hope you can do something nice for the rest of the day which requires you to turn off your phone. A bath; the cinema; a long walk.

Onwards to your new life! All the very best to you OP.

Oh poor him and his crocodile tears. Well done OP. You sound genuinely lovely and I hope 2018 brings you lots of happiness

Well done! Were you able to tell him some of your reasons - the body shaming, Victoria’s Secret comments, lack of support during your medical tests, lazing in bed when you want to go out? I hope so.

Didn’t want to read and leave.

Very glad you’ve stuck to your guns op he sounds awful. The comments about your weight, saying he will kill himself if you leave? It’s controlling behaviour and you’ve done yourself a massive favour by getting out of the toxic relationship now.

Enjoy the next few days alone, relax, even go to the cinema alone / with friends / family as he always seems to ditch that idea and really pamper yourself. Block his number or just ignore him if he starts to text, he has brought this on himself and you deserve a lot better xx

I'd actually block him. If he doesn't get it by now, nothing you say to him will make any difference. Or at least turn off your phone. Be kind to yourself, rest and recover. He's hard work and you really don't need a body shamer in your life. Or someone who has so little empathy.

I would block him too, your likely to get bombarded with messages asking you to give him another chance and he will try to make you feel guilty by saying he’s depressed/upset.

Well done for being strong x

Well doneIndigo

Now you can relax and chill, hope u enjoy the rest if the holidays

Well done! I'm so glad you did this! This has brought back unpleasant memories for me but hopefully you will be like me and never regret breaking up 🥂

Well done you. How are you feeling now?

Good on you. Well done.
please don't go back to this total shitehawk.
move on in peace.

well done OP.. I'm delighted for you

enjoy your stress free festivities ....

I hope you're feeling mightily relieved now, OP.

You're rid of a massive burden that leaves room for your life to flourish.

LTB