To think it’s time to break up with OH?

[Indigo911]

Been with OH a year. We don’t live together and are both early 30s. No kids.
There have also been a lot of red flags throughout our relationship and I think I’m finally done.
Some examples - he has split up with me multiple times and is often very hot and cold. He admitted one of the reasons he kept getting cold feet was because I’m overweight (I’m a size 12-14 and I’m tall so I only look very slightly overweight). He seems to have a real issue with anyone overweight and makes horrible remarks about people on tv etc.
I had a brain MRI last week because of possible MS and he took me to the appointment. I was clearly incredibly anxious beforehand and he didn’t try and comfort me at all or offer any sort of support/sympathy.
Afterwards we were meant to go out for lunch and to the cinema as something nice for me to get my mind off things. He decided he was too tired and just wanted to lie in bed at mine all day and watch TV in a foul mood.
Today on Xmas day I’ve had two brief texts from him all day even though I know he’s just sitting at his dad’s doing nothing. He got me a crap gift too with no thought put into it.
Reading this back I have no idea why I’ve been putting up with it all. I always thought I was a strong, independent person who never put up with any shit. My self esteem has taken a real knock and I guess I’m at that age where I want to settle down so maybe I’m clinging onto the ‘what ifs’ and hope I can change him.
We are due to spend New Years together and I’m going to tell him I don’t want to. Enough is enough

YANBU. So glad you’ve decided to break away from him. The last thing you need is an idiot like this draining your energy and self-esteem at a time like this, however good looking he is. Very much hope all works out for you with your scan results. Don’t give him another day of your time. He’s shown you everything you need to know.

PS. I meet the man of my dreams at 36. Had our kids at 38 and 41.
It's all to play for op.
Just wait for that day when you are loved and cherished and accepted exactly as you are by someone who is 100% in your relationship.

Congratulations 😊💐

Well done, you’ve woken up to the twat. Think of us all cheering you on tomorrow, there’s nothing he can say that will change what a twat he is.

Be strong, you can do it!

Yep, dump the fucker!
He sounds a complete prick.
You need someone to nurture you, not tear you down.

OP time to have fun. You have one life and after you've dumped him and grieved what you had hoped you could have together you can go and find your fun!

Good luck with your health issues - hopefully you'll be relieved of that nasty festering boil tomorrow at least

Start 2018 single !!! You're worth more than this xxx

Sometimes very handsome/beautiful people have never had to cultivate any likeability or look beyond themselves-they think the world owes them something. It's not always a bonus.

Say goodbye OP and don't let him make you question it.

Oh op he just sounds worse and worse the more you tell us about him. You are not fat. He’s either obsessed with skinniness, or feels threatened by you and wants to slap you down and make you feel inadequate.

I’ve been a tall size 14 most of my adult life. I haven’t had any complaints, partners have never called me fat, gp considers me a healthy weight. It’s not you, it’s him. (Though of course even if you were very overweight, the things he has said are totally disrespectful and out of order.)

Nasty insecure, unpleasant twat who will only get worse. I think it’s also a big red flag that he shat on your plans to treat yourself after your scan. He doesn’t like the attention being on you. Get rid and celebrate

You only have to read your post back, but also all the responses to know the right answer.
Good luck op.

Life is far too short. I'd end Christmas on a good note, with a text to him. 'Yeah, had a fab Christmas, thanks for asking. One thing you'll never need to ask me is if you're dumped, because you are. No more mood swings, no more body shaming and negging, no more lame relationship. Bye!' and then you block.

He's a total waste of space.

i noticed there is a thread on here "NC (no contact) with dignity". You KNOW you have to get rid of him. He's horrible - it''s really, really not you.. he might have this and that that's good about him but ultimately he's horrible. You are going to find it hard to break this off completely but at your age it's SO very worth it. You do not get these years (and fertility if that is something you are thinking about) back. Don't take it for granted. Get on that NC thread if you need support because it's going to be hard but you will be so much happier in the long-term. Please, believe you deserve to only be with someone if they treat you well all of the time (well 95%, because that's life).

He sounds horrible OP - I don't think you could ever be truly happy with this man
.

Definitely bin him. You can do so much better. Good luck with your test results.

He’s waiting for you to dump him because he’s too coward to do it himself. That’s why he’s treating you like shit.

He sounds incredibly shallow. You'd be bored to tears if you spent any length of time with him.

Or he’s testing you to see if you’ll put up with his shit and be the emotional punchbag he’s looking for.

As a man myself I think his behaviour is completely unacceptable and agree with all on here.

You are going through a lot and he should be supporting you but making it all about him.

You sound like an amazing woman and he doesn't deserve you.

Run, run fast, run now. Get rid of the twat, you are worth far more. Start 2018 single and have a happier new year.

Definitely get rid, he sounds horrible, OP, and very childish. You can do so much better. That comment he made saying he would propose to you if you lost weight should be a complete deal breaker.

Glad you’re telling him to sod off. He sounds horrible and you deserve so much better.

Keep strong and end it. I'm sure you'll find the right person for you. But even if you don't, being single is better than being with this arsehole.

Good luck with your health investigations.

Handsome is as handsome does, as the saying goes. Can only add to what’s been said so far. Good luck tomorrow. Don’t let him try convince you to stay no matter what he resorts to. Sounds like you are pretty focussed on the task in hand. LTB and don’t look back. That’s the first time I’ve typed LTB on here.

You are just in the habit of being with him.

Break that habit NOW!

There's a good chance when you chuck him will come crying you not to leave him, but that will be because of his ego - any break-ups will have to be on HIS terms, not yours. Ignore him. Get on with your life - you are young, despite what you say you are certainly not overweight, you are very attractive (I know this because a man like the one you describe would be too vain not to be with a very physically attractive woman).

He is deliberately undermining you so that you have no confidence and can't summon the nerve to kick him into touch. DOn't let him destroy you like this. God forbid that your tests come back with bad news, but if they do, do you think he will be there for you? Not a chance!

Keep your pride, get back your self-esteem and tell him to forget the New Yea - you are going to celebrate it with your family. Put any stuff he keeps at yours (toothbrush etc) into a carrier bag, hang it on the door handled tell himhecan collect it whenever he feels like it - you are staying with friends.

Good luck OP - I hope that all goes well for you - but whatever your future it will be better without this sorry excuse for a man in it.

I know you know this already but: drop him like hot shit. When he whines to you about why you're leaving him, just keep moving. Quite soon you will wonder what the fuck you were doing with him at all. You kind of are already.