AIBU to ask partner to wash his hands before sex?

[Andrewsgirl]

Would your partner be offended if you asked them to wash their hands before having sex?

Probably!
It isn't particularly romantic is it?

I mean, I wouldn't shag someone if they were filthy and desperately needed a shower but I've never been with anyone who wasn't a clean person.

I mean... given the body parts that will be touching... why just the hands??

It would spoil the moment a bit surely? I'd ask him to wash his hands after though

Bit of a mood killer? Unless it's specifically a hygiene issue?

Not offended. Baffled maybe. Bemused...?

If I had a problem with UTIs I would.

Depends on what he’s been doing prior, I suppose.

I'd just met him off the train (he's been out drinking), he'd been sat on the pavement outside the station and chatting with some homeless guy and he kept a shaking his hand. We came home and he wanted to go to bed and I asked him if he'd washed his hands. He's gone ballistic and said I've humiliated him and that I'm the disgusting and sick one.

Only ok if he's been cutting chillies

Ah. X post.
I can't respond to that.

I'm guessing he feels embarrassed which is why he's reacted like that.

But yeah, it's odd that he didn't wash hands when he got in

Ew! Of course YANBU!

ALl these people saying "mood killer" etc.....way to get an infection!

Stop pandering to these dirty and babyish men! They should KNOW to wash for sex.

That was kind of an integral part of the story

Under those circumstances YANBU.

I don't think I would get into bed with anyone who hadn't showered very recently (certainly after coming in from outside), so for me ynbu.

But any minute all the people who think that the only proper time to shower is in the morning will come in and blast me.

YANBU in the given scenario.

I would have tbh. We’re all in the habit of washing hands as soon as coming into the house though. Lots of bugs and viruses out there I don’t want spread around the house.

YANBU. Of course it's basic hygiene to wash your hands when you get in from outside. Completely not unreasonable.

Also, How would it "spoil the mood"? Sounds like something a man says when they're trying to get out of wearing a condom! If a mood can be spoiled that easily they don't sound worth being with.

i feel like an awful person. He said I was a snob. I am sat here doubting myself and whether what I did was an awful awful thing to have done.

I wouldn't sleep with a drunk randomer without him showering first let alone washing his hands!

Not unreasonable, you don't want UTIs/BV etc and it's you who will suffer for his poor hygiene

Basic hygiene. Wash your hands when you come home.

He is being a dick. Was he a bit drunk?

Stop pandering to these dirty and babyish men! They should KNOW to wash for sex.

Really?? Doesn't sound very spontaneous if you always have to shower first.

He's had a lot to drink.

BTW I think the OP wasn't being unreasonable, if he'd been somewhere very grubby, ie sitting with his hands on the pavement. But washing for sex just sounds mad.

Of course it's basic hygiene to wash your hands when you get in from outside.

Doesn’t that depend on what you’ve been doing? Seems a bit neurotic to do it every time you come in from outside regardless of what you’ve been doing, and far more than ‘basic hygiene’. I’ve never known anyone to do that... went do drinks the other day. No one rushed to the toilet when they arrived to wash their hands!