AIBU to ask partner to wash his hands before sex?

[Andrewsgirl]

Would your partner be offended if you asked them to wash their hands before having sex?

Touching the bins???? Working at a hospital???? If you don't think those two things are dirty and germ-ridden and deserve a handwash afterwards, what EXACTLY do you think IS dirty?

I have been disgusted by people not washing hands after the loo, but this thread is just eye opening. I'll repeat:

EWWWWWWWW.

I don’t wash my hands as soon as I come home, I seem to have survived. I do wash my hands when I’ve been to the loo, before food preparation or after walking dog etc.

The idea that all of outside is dirty and disgusting is a little neurotic to me. It seems to be a selling point for alcohol hand gel etc though.

As for homeless people, my experience is some of them are not as clean as the average person for obvious practical reasons, some are sadly very dirty due to self neglect and addiction issues, others I’ve met are just as obsessive about hygiene as any mumsnet “I can’t believe you don’t shower 3 times a day” posters and will find somewhere to wash no matter what. Most I’ve met are towards the lower end of average to be honest.

I can see how your DP might take “have you washed your hands, you touched a homeless person” as offensive and about rather more than the practical. I suspect he is quite kind hearted if he found this upsetting so while I think it’s reasonable for him to wash, you might want to go easy on him.

and sunlight is a good disinfectant too
?!??!
Are you referring to the UV component?

I work with equipment which is UV sterilised. The UV is strong enough to blind a person. It has to be that strong to ‘disinfect’.

Sunlight is not a disinfectant. Sunlight is a very good method of warming up surfaces to a good bug-growing temperature.

I don’t wash my hands as soon as I come home, I seem to have survived

I've never been in a serious car crash, so if I hadn't been wearing a seat belt so far, I'd have survived.

It's still good practice to wear a seat belt, as is to wash our hands when coming in from the outside. It doesn't have to be all the time nor the second we come in, but it's still good practice.

It was patronising, infantilising and spoiled the moment to be told to wash his hands just before sex.

It was infantile of him if he didn't wash his hands at any point between arriving at home and getting in bed.
More so if he went to the loo, as most people do before bed.

What evidence is there that it is beneficial to health to wash hands whenever coming in from outside?

I don’t know anyone that does it. It certainly has never been taught here as a matter of course. I don’t think we have any more illness here than any other Western population.

I've posted the links.

The link about washing hands in general?

It's not "the outside". It's shaking hands with other people, handling money, touching surfaces. We don't have to be obsessive about it, but it's safer. Particularly as at home we're more likely to handle food, touch eyes and mouth, which are ports of entry for bugs. The same for sex.

It doesn’t appear, though, that people who do the ‘coming in from outside special hand wash’ are any better off than those who don’t.

Grim.

Unless you are Napoleon ("dont wash tonight Josephine") you get out the carbolic and scrubbing brush round this neck of the woods.

Maybe this helps.

It doesn't impact your health until there's something nasty going around.
Regular handwashing is important. Not just when getting home, but at work too.
This because we can't keep washing after every single risk contact. So, it's just a good measure to clean up when getting home, as part of regular handwashing.

well.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/12/19/why-hand-washing-may-be-your-best-medicine/

"The outbreak triggered extensive public and community health measures promoting basic hygiene, including regular hand washing. Not only was the SARS outbreak contained, but other cases of respiratory illnesses, including the flu, dropped sharply."

OP - are you ok? Is he still hurling abuse at you?

Your sexual partner doesn't understand snobbery as a concept. He probably thinks that changing your quilt cover more than four times a year is "posh".

Red flag.

Maybe this helps.

That link is still all about washing hands in general. I don’t think anyone is arguing against that.

And washing when you get home is an important part of that. It's not the only time to wash them.

It’s not an important part. Evidence would suggest it’s not necessary at all, seeing as most people don’t do it.

I may not wash my hands if I just go outside to buy milk, but if I've commuted from work, then definitely.

Evidence would suggest it’s not necessary at all, seeing as most people don’t do it.

Which evidence? Who is most people?

The flu and norovirus outbreaks that occur every winter?

Which evidence? Who is most people?

Do you believe most people in the world do? Honestly?

That's the spirit! people should defend their right to be scruffy, guts.. Bravo man

I wouldn't be impressed by a partner who doesn't understand basic hygiene and consideration to the person they're with. It's the small details that add up.

If he's like that now, imagine how few fucks he'll give in 1, 2, 5 years' time. Urghhhhh

It's pretty simple really.

If someone wants to put their hands in or around someone else's vagina, they go with the preferences of the owner of the vagina.

FFS 🙄