AIBU to ask partner to wash his hands before sex?

[Andrewsgirl]

Would your partner be offended if you asked them to wash their hands before having sex?

WTAF. You are a snob IMO. Do you think homeless people are unclean?

Jeremy, it can be perfectly spontaneous if you systematically wash before starting your evening together!

It's not about it being some homeless person, I would expect dh to wash his hands if he'd been touching anyone outside the house, specially at this time of year. I wouldn't need to ask, though, it's the first thing he does when he walks in the door and insists the dc do it too.

Just basic hygiene.

But I agree with the OP... given where his hands were, and where they were about to be, he should have washed his hands.

And he can’t have been that in the mood if that put him off!

If my partner wanted me to wash my hands because I'd touched a homeless person I would not want to have sex with them.

Depends what they'd been doing. If it was every day stuff and nothing particularly dirty, then I'd find it offputting to be asked!

I wash my hands when I come home from the outside. The handrails on public transport are some of the dirtiest things in the world. The pavements have the added benefit of touching dog poo. I mean... Ewwww.

Forget the homeless man, he'd been out drinking! Have you any idea how much muck is on the average pub bar?

Homeless or not, if he’s been shaking people’s hands, it’s nit unreasonable to expect him to wash his hands. You have no idea where the hands of the other man had been (and that would be the if he wasn’t homeless). He could have not washed his hands properly after wiping his bum... do you really want those hands in you?

Also baffled by the general MN approach of "you have to change underwear twice a day as you magically get horribly unhygienic overnight", but "no need to wash hands after being on a train". Hands touch dirty stuff all day, while pits and feet and other "suspicious" body parts sit quietly under clothes and don't attempt to collect every bacteria and virus they see.

I'll say again: Ewwwwww.

YANBU! Maybe if he was sober he would have understood better. My DH can argue that night is day when he is a bonny boy.

But surely when you get home before you go to bed you wash & brush your teeth etc anyway, sex or no sex?

For all those saying it's not about the homelessness- why say it then? It's dehumanising and cruel.

Homeless people often struggle to keep themselves clean due to a lack of easily available washing facilities. It's one of the many miseries of being homeless.
Then again, unless you have a weak immune system or something, it's not terribly dangerous to you to be touched by a hand that's touched an unwashed hand. Would you ask for handwashing if a partner had been stroking the dog/cat/hamster just before coming to bed? If the partner had just been putting the bins out? If you would (because your sex life is heavy on fingerbanging and/or you are prone to thrush) then your DP should routinely be washing his hands before playtime.

Mr GP advised me to always wash my hands when I get home to reduce the bugs/ sickness you can catch.

For all those saying that they wash etc before bed, fine, but not everyone has sex in bed at night. Just saying

Pidlan sadly...and I know this due to volunteering with homeless people...there's more likelyhood of bacteria from homeless people due to them having lack of access to showers, soap etc.

Anyone who doesn't wash hands as soon as they come in, is dirty imo.

Trains and so forth are full of filth! There's literal poo on seats...they've done tests!

I think the dirty hands are the least of your problems.

The drunk, abusive prick who thinks he has a right to sex seems more of a pressing matter?

What on earth do you think you are going to catch?

I wouldn't sleep with a drunk randomer without him showering first let alone washing his hands!

She didn’t say it was a drunk randomer it’s her partner.

OP, if he’s really drunk then just leave him to sleep it off and have a proper chat about it in the morning.

Not unreasonable!

First thing DH and I do when we come through the door! We also get our 2yr old to wash her hands.

His dad was a surgeon, first thing he does when he gets home and he has a bottle of hand sanitiser by his front door.

I wouldn’t want to shag someone that had been drinking a lot, dirty hands or not.

I think the way he reacted to you when you asked is more of a concern. Leave him to his tantrum. Or just leave him.

I’m not sure what you could catch from a homeless persons handshake than you would from a person with a home??

I’ve known some dirty feckers and they’ve all worked in my office and had a job. There are people I work with I wouldn’t touch with a bargpole, people on the street - absolutely

Unless he’s jumped on you the second he came home I would expect a brush of teeth, a wee and a hand wash before the sexy time anyway though

Sorry posted too soon...

I would have asked my DH to go wash his hands... he would have understood. It's like asking him to shower before we DTD as he's been as work all day sweating!

I also shower beforehand... I'd be really embarrassed if DH went down south with my sweaty arse... I don't think it would be nice.

I don't think dirty hands are pleasant, can't imagine manky hands close to a vagina! EWWWWWWWWWW!

WTAF. You are a snob IMO. Do you think homeless people are unclean

You ever been homeless?

I have and it’s damn hard this time of year finding washing facilities, loads of the places you would normally used tend not to be so welcoming because of function rooms being hired out to none smelly folk or restricted pool time tables