To be upset by MILs comment

[flutterby3]

Hi so my DD will be 1 next week, my MIL has recently started having my DD once every couple of weeks for the afternoon while I'm at work (my mum has her majority of the time when I'm working)

My DP went to pick her up from MILs on Monday and while there MIL kept letting DD take her glasses because she liked the noise DD makes when allowed to do it. My DP asked her not to let her do it as a lot of my family wear glasses all the time and we have always told her not to and so she hasn't been touching peoples glasses. (Obviously some peoples glasses are very expensive and we can't afford to pay for them if they get broken by DD). And actually since MIL has been looking after her she has a new fascination with glasses and has been pulling them off family's faces 🤦🏻‍♀️

Anyway MIL said to DP "well I'll just let her do it when you're not here" and obviously my DP was not happy about this comment. And by saying This I now feel like We can't trust her to look after DD.

I know the glasses issue isn't that important but it's her comment that concerns me most. AIBU to be upset/concerned about this comment? How would you feel about it

Thanks

YANBU glasses are expensive and children should not be encouraged to play with them. Children all love to try on glasses so i took one of my old pairs took the glass out and let my son try them on and play when I was around, but he knew not to touch anyone else's or mine. the problem could be although this is a small issue you have asked her specifically not to let her play with glasses and she ignored you and then said she would when you are not around this to me could mean more issues further down the road- or on the flip side was she joking because she realised your DP was annoyed

@badfeminist
I'm a grandparent. Never have o been referred to as a dick before

A far as the OP goes. I would be annoyed. It may just be a game with her glasses but if MIL is going to "let her do it when your not here" what else is she going to allow her to do "when your not here"?

Adults when holding a toddler are aware when they're going to grab their glasses!! This is the biggest non issue I've read on here!I don't recall any of my lot going around destroying glasses. What happens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's! Lighten up.

Actually I'd find the attitude really annoying. I agree the actual issue isn't a big one- it's the idea that if you ask for something not to happen then she'll just do it behind your back. It might be something small now, but what if it's something more important?

I don't agree that providing free childcare for a DGC = " I can do whatever I want no matter what parents might wish". I do think parents wishes should be accommodated- and if you can't/don't want to then don't do the caring, or talk to the parents about it.

I'd simply find someone else to look after DD if you can. If MIL not happy, tell her why.

I fully agree with you, OP.

I am a lifelong wearer of glasses. They are bloody expensive and are essential to me. My prescription is complex.

I have always said a firm NO to any child who has tried to grab my glasses. I would be furious if one who had been taught to disregard that boundary then actually grabbed and bent or broke them.

Your MIL is teaching your DD to disregard a boundary that you have very reasonably been instilling in her.

Surely you have bigger fish to fry, OP? I hope I wasn’t this neurotic first time round, but I fear I may have been...

I assume that all of those saying or implying that this is a non-issue have perfect eyesight and no need for glasses.

That is why they cannot understand why it actually would be a problem to so many of us, and why we might be protective of our glasses, especially around small children who can be prone to grabbing stuff that attracts them.

I think you are right to be cross with it, my honest thoughts are if she lets her do this, there will be other things later on that she will allow your children to do when you have said no. I had a very similar situation with my mum. She went behind my back constantly. 2 things really stick in my head, the biggest one being that our daughter was born very poorly and the Doctors told us to avoid dairy, this was 27 years ago so not as clean cut as it is today, my mum insisted on giving both DS and DD a glass of milk and chocolate biscuits after their lunch, obviously ending with our daughter having very painful effects from it. I’m afraid I stopped her from having the children until she did what I asked.

I have expensive glasses. I also have 2 preschool DS with learning difficulties and no help with childcare. I just can't get upset about this.

I think the suggestion of a gentle chat is a good idea, prefaced with a 'thank you for all the help and support you give us'.

And where do you get these GP who do childcare?? Can I have one?

In the nicest possible way, get a grip

Say to your daughter that she can only play with MIL's specs. Say no to other requests re specs. Yes, it's tiresome to keep on repeating yourself but she will grow out of this fascination and will play with other things.