To be upset by MILs comment

[flutterby3]

Hi so my DD will be 1 next week, my MIL has recently started having my DD once every couple of weeks for the afternoon while I'm at work (my mum has her majority of the time when I'm working)

My DP went to pick her up from MILs on Monday and while there MIL kept letting DD take her glasses because she liked the noise DD makes when allowed to do it. My DP asked her not to let her do it as a lot of my family wear glasses all the time and we have always told her not to and so she hasn't been touching peoples glasses. (Obviously some peoples glasses are very expensive and we can't afford to pay for them if they get broken by DD). And actually since MIL has been looking after her she has a new fascination with glasses and has been pulling them off family's faces 🤦🏻‍♀️

Anyway MIL said to DP "well I'll just let her do it when you're not here" and obviously my DP was not happy about this comment. And by saying This I now feel like We can't trust her to look after DD.

I know the glasses issue isn't that important but it's her comment that concerns me most. AIBU to be upset/concerned about this comment? How would you feel about it

Thanks

This I now feel like We can't trust her to look after DD.

because of glasses?? are you serious.

you don't like your MiL and you are just looking for an excuse to not let her have DD anymore. You couldn't find anything so now you came up with this petty little nonsense.

you cannot trust her anymore because of glasses?

Your mum probably lets dd get away with things that you arent aware of too - she just hasnt told you.

Seriously, dont start making an issue of this just because it's the mother in law. It's shitty.

Thank you for the replies, to those saying she's doing me favour, MIL doesn't NEED to have DD she wants to, she is looking after her because she has asked to have her. My DM is happy to have her all the time when I work. Also if I had to pay for childcare there would be no point in me working as I wouldn't even afford it on the little money I earn.
To those who missed it, It is not the issue of the glasses, it's the comment that bothers me so much.

If I were you OP I'd pay someone to look after your child, that way you can treat them like staff

*Grandparents are dicks.

Right. Got you. How insulting. Can't wait for you to become one.*

I'll be one too. That's the whole purpose of grandparents. Kids think they are awesome.

I guess it depends a bit on how stupid the thing is that MIL is letting your DD do.

And this is pretty stupid - it would be very easy for your DD to damage /break glasses and if she is now taking them off people's faces, that could end up with someone being hurt.
Actively encouraging a child to something daft is a red flag for me.
Time for a difficult conversation with MIL.

I'd be as pathetic as her and say 'well looks like you'll suffer not getting grandparents privileges then if you can't do as you're told'
Stupid woman!

so your DM is doing you a favour by having her when you work but you are giving your Mil a favour by letting her have DD instead of leaving her with your DM?

Just look at your posts. you sound delightful!

The 'I can do it behind your back' bit is hideous in its lack of integrity.
Yes - this is pretty nasty.

Oh yes. Your DM may well be feeding your DC chocolate buttons for lunch for all you know. You just don't know about it. Give your MIL a break FGS. How gracious of you to bestow her with one afternoon of looking after your child.

YANBU - my baby broke my last glasses. Luckily they were about 5 years old, but my new ones cost about £500 and definitely aren’t for playing with.

OH & I wear glasses as do several members of both our families. Children tend to home in on them so we have always discouraged the DC's from touching them. My glasses alone cost £450.

Your dd is going to learn if she can't get what she wants from you, she can go running to Nanny

Isn't that what Nannies are for??? 😊

My DDs' Nanny spoils them rotten and they know they get away with thing they never would at home.

I woild be wondering what else she is doing behind your backs. Very sneaky. However, with the glasses you just keep repeat to dd. No, this is Granny's game. Takes a while but will sink in. Different people have different ways of doing things.

I would feel that the comment is a joke and also that it suggests MIL and granddaughter are building a bond. You are lucky to have a grandparent who cares and helps. It would be stupid to spoil this over nothing.

It's the total lack of respect for her sons request which is disgusting.

Her son has asked her not to allow his dd do something. She has basically replied "fuck of, I'll do what I like"

She's a cow.

'well looks like you'll suffer not getting grandparents privileges then if you can't do as you're told

I do hope that is a joke

I know for a fact that at I'm not the only parent who has at times looked at their own mother/father/inlaw doing the complete opposite of what you've just told them to do and thought "oh, you dick".

My own grandmother now does it to my bloody kids, and I can't say anything because I have very clear memories of being DSs age and asking for a sweet, Mum saying no and then granny giving me a wink and announcing "it's MY house and I make the rules" and shooting that sly shit eating grin at Mum.

There's certainly not any malice in it. It's a fact of life.

Disgusting?

She's a cow?

Good god, sometimes on MN I can't believe what I'm reading.

I do like MIL actually, we get on very well, and it is not me finding an excuse. MIL &DD have a lovely relationship and I appreciate the help on both sides, was just making the point it not being a necessity.

The only reason I went back to work is because DM offered the childcare help otherwise it wouldn't have been possible.

If I were you, I'd just go NC. Cut her out of your lives. She's a complete abomination and should never be allowed to darken your door again or see your children.

Seriously, some people on here need to rethink what they imagine a GP/GC relationship is about.