To want DH to ask his DSIS to return the gift.

[EvilTwins]

DH and his sister have very little to do with each other. We have DTDs, she has a DD and we rarely see each other (our children have met twice and they are 11 and 9YO)

SIL has sent Christmas presents that we need to wrap. I’ve looked and she has bought the same for DTD2 as my mum has. It is something that DTD2 wants, and so I asked my mum to get it. DH, because he has little to do with his sister, wants me to ask my mum to return her gift but I don’t want to do that as I specifically asked her to get it for DTD2, and it’s just coincidence that SIL got it - she did not ask in advance what the girls might like, she’s just made a guess based on standard stuff 11 year olds are likely to be into.

So AIBU or is DH?

Kerala1 I don’t detest her. I barely know her. But then I don’t detest my mum either but most people seem to think I should ask her to exchange her gift

She did alright to get something your daughter obviously wants then.

Honestly, just wait until both gifts arrive then take one back for a swap.

You are making heavy weather of this OP, and looking for faults with your SIL. This really isn't a good battle to pick when it could so easily be sorted.

My kids (8 and 5) know to smile politely if they receive a duplicate and say nothing other than thanks. Sometimes they end up with two gifts the same, sometimes they pass on to someone else who might like it and sometimes they pass it to charity.

I think most people are just thinking that as you are closer to your mum, it would be easier, quicker, and less of a faff to ask her tbh.

People are suggesting that because it seems the easier option. It isn't a personality contest!

People are asking you to get the receipt from your mum and you go and exchange the gift that SIL sent! No one is expecting your mum to do it

How did SIL know to get it-lucky guess?

Hi op- you've had lots of sensible ideas and suggestions here! You don't seem to grasp that this is not a big problem...

Depending what the item is and where it's from, you may not even need a receipt and therefore you can yourself return the gift from sil and choose something that you know that your dd would like, no refund required, credit note/exchange would be fine.

You seem to have an answer to every suggestion from pp's.

One question- would your dd want or need 2 of said item? If the answer is NO then you need to decide which of the many options given best suits you. This is a no brainer.

You want your mum to take the "credit" for the present which is fair enough but at least acknowledge that your sil chose a good present, some people can't win....

No one is saying ask your mum to take hers back , people are saying use your mums receipt to take back the SILs item , the tone of your posts does seem to imply that you don’t like your SIL much . You are making a massive mountain out of a molehill .

diddl it’s a fairly standard 11 year old girl gift, so yes, lucky guess. She words for a big online company so shopping would be pretty easy for her.

Many PPs have pointed out that you should return the gift using your mum’s receipt. This would be so much easier than either asking your SIL to exchange it or getting your mum to do it. You seem pretty determined that your SIL is in the wrong. She’s not; she accurately chose an appropriate gift for your child.
Or you could do as others have suggested and keep the duplicate / give it to charity / regift it.

You dont seem to want to listen OP in which casr im not quite sure why you posted.

Youre not actually grasping what people are saying about the receipt are you ...

Ask your mum for her receipt. Then return sil one with your mums receipt and get something else. Or just take it and exchange for something else without the receipt in a shop in town

So what's the issue that it's easier for her? That's just good luck! My BIL works for debenhams and I don't mind when I get presents from there.

Also your last post 21.45 sounds very ungrateful.

diddl it’s a fairly standard 11 year old girl gift, so yes, lucky guess. She words for a big online company so shopping would be pretty easy for her

Exactly the kind of thing that thousands of kids will get duplicated then

It's really not that big a deal.

She is 12. She will get 2 identical gifts. Your mother will give her the receipt and she will return one.

What is the issue? Life lessons

I return things without receipts with no problem in most shops. Everyone buys my DD clothes in the size of the age she is, when she's actually always a size above that. Next, for example, will either exchange it or put it on a gift card (well, specifically a "refund card") for when I find something suitable. Debenhams likewise.

Just exchange it yourself.

Fair enough, I am sure Mum will have gift reciepts - she usually does.

No love lost between SIL and I - she made things very difficult when DH and I were first together andhas upset DH a great deal over the years.

LordSugar you’re right - I do want Mum to get the “credit” as from her it’s a thoughtful gift but from SIL it’s just a lucky guess.

Sorry 11 not 12 but old enough to know that family buy gifts.

As others have said, it's rude to ask for a receipt unless it has been offered and you're only going to make things worse for your DH. It's a pain but not the worst thing that could happen and certainly nobody has done anything intentionally annoying.

If she got three presents just give them two and give the other away to a charity that gives presents to homeless kids

Then some good has come out of this situation

But it's not really that "thoughtful" a gift. You told your mum to buy it.

Or do what i do every year when we get duplicates and swap it on the Mumsnet present swap thread my favourite thread of all year!
Never bothers me if i get something lesser value ( or indeed anything at all ) its just lovely to think that someone else will appreciate it.