Sexual Assault **May be triggering**

[ItsFindersKeepers]

NC for this but regular poster...

I may be flamed for saying this but AIBU to think that the term 'sexual assult' is a broad spectrum and that there's a HUGE difference between someone squeezing someone's bum and being penetrated by something other than a penis (as that would be rape)?

I'm not saying that someone squeezing a bum is okay in the slightest but I wouldn't want someone going to prison or convicted over it. Or do you believe their all as bad as each other and need locking up?

I was reading about the Todd from Corrie case and wondering what it was that he actually did. I personally don't think he deserves the sack for a drunken ass squeeze but anything more then yes.

I don't know, maybe it's my attitude that's what's wrong here. My arse was frequently squeezed on a night out and whilst I didn't like it and told them to fuck off, I wouldn't want them thrown in prison either.

Does that apply to men, what if a woman squeezes a mans bum, or grabs him, so that's ok is it!

I'm not saying that it's okay, so please don't think that. I just don't think that getting my bum squeezed is a big deal. I'd sort it myself without going to the police.

Again, you haven’t answered my question. A drunken idiot squeezes your fourteen year old daughter’s bum, or is he a paedophile?

OP I agree with you to an extent.

I do not agree that men should be able to grope women in anyway, squeezing bum, cupping breast, any of that is NOT ok. Equally it is not ok for a woman to do it to a man - I've seen them pinch bums and grope fronts of trousers in nightclubs. Both are wrong - no one should ever touch another without permission.

However, calling is sexual assaults in a way that it is on the same level as a penetrative assault, doesn't sit right with me. It almost needs it own name. I may be biased, having been the victim of a penetrative assault, but I cannot put them in the same grouping.

I dont think men should go unpunished. But there does need to be a small change imo.

What sort of question is that? There's a huge difference between a man finding a child attractive and a man finding a woman attractive. A 14yo is a child, there for a peadophile.

I really hate this idea that complaining about a bum grope minimises other abuse. I think ‘unacceptable behaviour’ is a huge spectrum and the more people who say ‘this is not ok’ the better.

Also, the man who gropes your bum on a night out has no idea if you’ll like it or not. I would hate it. He doesn’t know if he’s getting a you or a me. He doesn’t care. It’s all about him and what he wants to do with YOUR body. How anyone can be ok with that is totally beyond me.

OP say a man ruffled your child's hair, and another man grabbed her bum - would you consider those to be the same?

What sort of question is that? There's a huge difference between a man finding a child attractive and a man finding a woman attractive. A 14yo is a child, there for a paedphile

Ok, so now the girl is sixteen-the age of consent-has he turned into a drunken idiot now?

@SlickBubbles I think we're on a similar wavelength. I too have been raped. At the time I didn't know it but I was.

I agree it should be a 2 way thing but I don't think it is. If a 50 something yo woman pinched a young man's bottom, I doubt I'd see many calling for her to be fired and slapped with a criminal record and to sign the sex offender list.

I’ve had men grabbing my ass, tits and pussy since I was old enough to go out to the pubs and clubs, it’s definitely sexual assault but I deal with it myself, a slap, push, drink over the face, grabbing them by the balls to humiliate them, I’ve never gotten the police involved but I realise not everyone’s like me and if some people feel the need to go to the police because they feel they’ve been violated, I wouldn’t argue with their choice. I’m used to what some people would consider ‘mild’ sexual assault and its water off a ducks back to me. But on the other hand I’ve been brutally raped, so I don’t think anything phases me anymore, I wonder if I’d be different with grab ass if I hadn’t been raped before.

And it’s NOTHING todo with finding a woman attractive. It’s acruslly touching her body without her consent that’s wrong.

I really hate this idea that complaining about a bum grope minimises other abuse

I don't like the idea either, but I can't help my feeling on it. It doesn't make a bum grope acceptable, but I'm certainly not haunted by one in the same way I am my assault 4 years on.

The law states that anyone under the age of 18 is still a child so IMO a man attempting anything with anyone younger than that is a pervet. But that's just my opinion. We all have different morals and what we deem to be acceptable.

If a 50 something yo woman pinched a young man's bottom, I doubt I'd see many calling for her to be fired and slapped with a criminal record and to sign the sex offender list.

She should be fired. It is assault to touch another unsolicited.

I really dislike the men/women thing. Like why are Chippendale's celebrated, but women strippers are condemned? Why can diet coke have women perving over half naked men, but not the other way? We should all be treated equally, and respectfully.

Op the guy you are talking about assaulted four women in one evening. One of those victims describes him grabbing her vagina and being able to feel his fingers pressing hard.

That is why he's been sacked and is on the sex offenders register. Please stop minimising what happened to that mans victims.

The law states that anyone under the age of 18 is still a child so IMO a man attempting anything with anyone younger than that is a pervert

Fine. On her 18th birthday your daughter is fair game for “drunken idiots” who are attracted to her to start groping her and she can just deal with it herself. Lovely.

Too right we all have different morals.

Nope not saying fair game I just don't think those men are paedophiles. Like I said loads of times, I don't think it's acceptable but I don't consider it something for someone to be prosecuted for.

But Slick nobody is saying that’s the same thing or that they should be dealt with the same way. We know that men who grope gain confidence from it and statistically go on to commit more serious assaults. It’s fine to say ‘I will not stand for this’ without saying ‘this assault is just as serious as yours’.

for you, and for me, and for everyone on here with horrible stories. Fuck them.

I just don't think those men are paedophiles.

What do you think they are? Good, kind and decent men?

So if you don't think then bum touching/squeezing is sexual assault then what about crotch groping? Is that sexual assault?

Pumperthepumper I think I'm a little.jumpy with it all tbh. If I hear sexual assaults on the radio, regarding all these cases, it just leaves a bitter taste - I so wish I had gone to the police about mine. I posted here at the time. But I couldn't do that to my family. In some ways I'm jealous these people could report their assault and get their perpetrators punished. But I'm also one who struggles with the term sexual assaults being used, and I'm not sure how I can change that feeling. for you as well

The law states that anyone under the age of 18 is still a child so IMO a man attempting anything with anyone younger than that is a pervet.

But the age of consent is 16. So at what age does a man become a pervert for wanting to or attempting to do something with a 16 year old?

Can I put a different spin on this? How many of you have 20 something year old sons who go/went? I would bet my life that the majority of them have squeezed a woman's arse at some point.

Are they decent men? Probably, just a drunken idiot at the time.

But this is MN and of course not one of your sons have done this because they were raised to respect women.

I dont agree with the age of consent being 16. That's just me though.

Slick I know, it’s really hard, I get it