AIBU or is he? Cats, new flat, money, boyfriend

[twiney]

I'm going to try and keep this short and objective.

Me and my BF of one year are moving in together after him basically living at mine.

We found an amazing new place that has a balcony leading on to a huge massive rooftop terrace. The terrace is huge and has 360 degree views of the city (140m2).

The apartment fits all his criteria and I like it too - except one of my major criteria was having outdoor space for my beloved cats, which is why we originally were looking at houses.

I will be paying the vast majority of the rent and will need to find the deposit money, because I make a lot more than him.

I found a company that specialises in catproofing terraces so I want to pay them to come abd fit out the terrace. This means we can still enjoy it, but as a bonus the cats will have a massive and SAFE rooftop playground to enjoy. Theres no way in hell I would let them out without it and I would be nervous they would slip out to the unprotected rooftop as cats ofteb do.

My boyfriend refuses to have the terrace secured as he says the chickenwire style fencing around the rooftop will ruin the view. He says we should catproof the small balcony but leave the terrace open.

Who is BU? I see his point that its annoying. But I love my cats and he knows that my major priority in moving was getting them some space.

I also admit to feeling a little resentment - im the one doing most of the shelling out here, so shouldnt he just enjoy having an amazing flat at subsidised rent and let me get on with it?

But maybe AIBU

Re. the fencing, could you not use Perspex?

Your boyfriend is lazy and selfish OP, are you really happy to go on living with someone who doesn't pull his weight with housework, house hunting, who doesn't contribute to rent and bills after moving in with you, who has much less earning power and who doesn't give a shit about your cat?

The last point is important, even if he's not a cat person if he loves you then he should be more considerate about the cat as the cat is important to you. You say you can't trust him to not let the cat out whilst you're on the terrace, even if he says he'll be more careful I don't think you can trust him as if he cared about the cat (and you) he would have already demonstrated he can be trusted.

From what you say I don't think he loves you, you're just a meal ticket giving him a lifestyle he can't afford himself. He won't change even if he says he will, if he's this shit now imagine how shit he will be a few years down the line.

BTW, I have housecats too, once one of my friends let one of them out and I nearly permanently lost them. This is years ago but I never forgave the friend as to me it was a reflection of not caring about me rather than the act of letting the cat escape per se.

Previous block manager here.

You can’t install anything without consent from not only the landlord (leaseholder of the flat) but the directors of the RTM (right to manage) company or the freeholder (whichever is applicable).

It’s likely they will decline your request on the basis of it being a) ugly and not in keeping with the building and b) a potential health and safety risk (if it blows off the roof, for example).

If they do allow it, they will (probably, in my experience) insist it is installed by a professional and certified as structurally sound by a building surveyor. They may also insist an agreement is draw up whereby you agree to remove upon your vacation. Any costs pertaining to this process will have to be met by you.

Sorry just seen that you’re not in the UK.

You should probably ignore my comment

The flat isn't suitable for cats (unless they're indoor cats) without the adjustments so if the fencing is deemed unacceptable the flat is not for you.
Your higher income is irrelevant imo, unless your DP is a work shy layabout then his smaller salary shouldn't preclude him from equality in life decisions.
Find a new home

I would not trust the cats not to fall off the roof. A friend of mine had a cat in a flat years ago. He fell out of the open window three times. Friend then moved to another flat with a roof terrace and the cat fell off that, dislocating his leg. He was a particularly clumsy cat, it has to be said.

My cats could and would scale that fencing in about 2 seconds. Unless your cats are extremely lazy and unadventurous, in which case going to this extent isn't necessary, all you'll be doing with this fencing is creating a higher ledge for them to fall from. You'd need a 'roof' of the same material on top to actually cat proof it. A high Perspex fence is a better (even more expensive) idea, but there are still cats that would manage to scramble up that.

Why not look for ground floor apartments?