toddler at a funeral

[ditzychick34]

Yes a bit of a TAAT but not quite. I'll potentially be going to funeral in the new year, relative is very ill, would I be unreasonable to take my 2 year old? I would of course take her out if she makes noise. I could leave her with DH but that would mean he couldn't attend

I'm sorry Pagwatch - I got the impression you were assuming children were being taken to funerals as an educational experience and not as mourners in their own right. Clearly I misunderstood. My point was that children are primary mourners at some funerals, and not second class/ less important than/ subject to being banned by other mourners just because of their ages.

No problem. You did misunderstand me.

We took eldest ds (when he was an only and 3) to his great-nan's funeral. She adored him and in her latter days thought he was DH (her grandson). My PIL also wanted him there as it gave my usually very stoic FIL someone to cuddle without having to appear emotional. I was incredibly touched by their response when I asked if we shouldn't bring him.

My DH took our youngest DS (2) to his uncles funeral at the request of my MIL. Eldest was at school. Again they actively wanted him there.

I really think it just depends on the family.

I guess there’s a cultural difference with Catholics welcoming children at funerals. Full Catholic requiem masses are open to all. They are not about the family issuing invitations or deciding who can attend. Obviously there is a nod towards the families preferences but the format is pretty set. That is true whether it be the funeral of a 90 year old or 9 year old. When children from the primary school or nursery died the whole school attend (if they so wish) otherwise there is a crèche run by volunteers. It would feel very odd for anyone to suggest it wasn’t appropriate for little ones to be there - but then that’s not really a decision the relatives are asked to make. It’s not about education really but is about involving children in all aspects of the Catholic community.

Crumbs I think that might be it. DH's family are all staunch Catholics and it wasn't even blinked at that toddlers were there.