...to think this is deliberate? **Christmas related**

[WazFlimFlam]

So yesterday, I sent MIL over some ideas for DH's Christmas present. One of these ideas was a t-shirt. Knowing how she fusses I was incredibly specific, I sent a URL to the specific design he likes, specifying that he needs a large.

Her response (copied from email):
Just double checking the size of the Tshirt: doesn’t DH not usually wear size MEDIUM ? XS not a little bit small?

I'm so cross I'm not sure how to respond. Do I pull her up on it, do I risk her 'misunderstanding' me further by responding?

I know this sounds nuts but I am dreading Xmas Day and me being 'blamed' for 'making her get the wrong size'. They once fussed for 1.5 hours about whether or not some shoes they bought him fitted.

I suggested this t-shirt as one of the few times they did get DH a gift off their own bat, it was from this particular online shop, with no input from us. So this isn't a confused older person thing (she is 59).

Do you think this is deliberate or a genuine misunderstanding?

Disclaimer: My MIL had asked for some present ideas, I didn't just send her a list of requests

Disclaimer 2: Yes there is background

Disclaimer 3: He is actually a medium in this range....

I think babyturtles has figured out the xs comment. I bet mil went to website and the xs was selected, that would explain what she said to you in the email. Regarding the t-shirt size, you can’t go wrong with a large if he is medium, goodness just wash it and dry it on hot, a t-shirt doesn’t have to be exact, err on the side of bigger not smaller so go ahead and tell her large again unless the mediums in that brand are big on your partner.

On another note, if that is the extent of your mil troubles then be very very thankful! What if you didn’t have one at all or had evil in laws from the bowels of hell like I do. You say there is backstory but this example doesn’t seem to be representative of a devious mil.

So you send her an URL link requesting a large, she emails back (probably cos the default on the drop box is xs), saying isn't he a medium, surely xs is too small? Sensible question from MIL - she's confused and double checking. You reply he's existing t-shirts are a medium. Voila so you're in agreement. A medium it is! But you're so cross and thinking of pulling her up on it! Why? Then you tell us the sizing details and he could be a M or a L technically BUT you already know that all the labels on his existing T-shirts are M! Your MIL was right and you were wrong. I think you have got too much time on your hands and there really are far more serious issues to get cross about. I await a thread on the awkward DIL!

OMG drama...

I’m sure she just wants to get her son a nice present that he likes and fits!!!

It really doesn’t sound like a personal attack... just confirm the size say you brought M last time although he is usually a L I’m sure either will work...

It really sounds like your trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill...

Just reply 'Size MEDIUM, thanks'. Maybe you are overreacting but maybe she has form for making difficulties out of nothing. (If it were my MIL, the implication would be DH is fat - she seems to enjoy dropping jibes down that line.) If the latter, forget about it as life's too short.

Ok, even if she does make what you identify as a PA fuss, you are just as bad. Being controlling enough to believe that she should have followed your orders to a T even tnoivb she actually identified that you had made a mistake.

Also, maybe give her the benefit of the doubt sometimes as your own communication, and perception as to how people could understand your account, is confusing and garbled.

People are dying all over the world from hunger and disease. What does a Tshirt matter?

First world problem.
Ffs

Okay - it's Christmas - the time of goodwill to all MILs :)

I say this as someone who battled off and on for many years (30 actually!) with my MIL. She died in January - and I would give anything to have her at the Christmas table this year.

I know it is really annoying - but try to see this as her making sure the T-shirt fits rather than she is plotting against you. As others have said, if she didn't carefully read your email and simply clicked the link, it might well have opened the website on XS (it's often the cheapest so stores use that as default size.)

It's Christmas ... have fun and don't let this sort of thing get in the way of a good time :) So speaks the voice of wisdom - and regret.
FWIW

Sorry - meant to say .... remember it's Christmas and send the following

"Dear MIL,

I'm so sorry - he is usually large but I have just checked the other T-shirt he has from there and you're right - it's a medium. Good save - thanks for double checking!

I wish this was all I had to worry about in life.