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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think this is deliberate? **Christmas related**

210 replies

WazFlimFlam · 08/12/2017 08:40

So yesterday, I sent MIL over some ideas for DH's Christmas present. One of these ideas was a t-shirt. Knowing how she fusses I was incredibly specific, I sent a URL to the specific design he likes, specifying that he needs a large.

Her response (copied from email):
Just double checking the size of the Tshirt: doesn’t DH not usually wear size MEDIUM ? XS not a little bit small?

I'm so cross I'm not sure how to respond. Do I pull her up on it, do I risk her 'misunderstanding' me further by responding?

I know this sounds nuts but I am dreading Xmas Day and me being 'blamed' for 'making her get the wrong size'. They once fussed for 1.5 hours about whether or not some shoes they bought him fitted.

I suggested this t-shirt as one of the few times they did get DH a gift off their own bat, it was from this particular online shop, with no input from us. So this isn't a confused older person thing (she is 59).

Do you think this is deliberate or a genuine misunderstanding?

Disclaimer: My MIL had asked for some present ideas, I didn't just send her a list of requests

Disclaimer 2: Yes there is background

Disclaimer 3: He is actually a medium in this range....

OP posts:
Louiselouie0890 · 08/12/2017 13:05

What a bonkers thing to get worked up over.

Nightskydreamer · 08/12/2017 13:07

Mountain out of a molehill.

Gosh have a glass of mulled wine! Wine

EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck · 08/12/2017 13:09

Me too PuppyMonkey Xmas Grin

Cantspell2 · 08/12/2017 13:14

Reading this I think I better start praying that my boys both decided they are gay as I am dreading having to deal with a dil who is determined to find fault with everything I say and do.

MotorwayMingebag · 08/12/2017 13:18

Reply:

Definitely not XS, not sure how that crept in there. I suggested L but M would be absolutely fine also. Thanks.

MotorwayMingebag · 08/12/2017 13:22

With those measurements I'd probably go Large.

MotorwayMingebag · 08/12/2017 13:23

Reply: Definitely not XS, not sure how that crept in there. Looking at the measurements I think L would be best as I originally suggested. Thanks.

Zevitevitchofcrimas · 08/12/2017 13:27

LondonGirls

Now that is def pass aggressive. DH should have returned them and said he cant wear them they are too short.

Now she thinks he is 30 and she was right because no one said anything. Grin

Op - can we get someone near by - an impartial MN to actually measure your dh please, maybe DM will pick up on this and we can have a proper sad face spread -

" Mil said she was MEDIUM" AND HE WAS LARGE - SHOCKER.

Clafoutis · 08/12/2017 13:33

Just be nice!
The copy of the email you sent her with the link was pretty off too. If I were communicating to someone about a present idea for my dh or dcs I wouldn't be so curt. It's normally polite to thank in advance on their behalf or acknowledge that the present buyer doing something nice as in; Dh would love this t shirt if you wouldn't mind please.
Exchanges with others are normally much more pleasant if people are kind and engaging, kind of lubricates the whole experience so there's less rubbing each other up the wrong way. I must admit, I'd be pretty miffed to recieve such a cursory email from someone when asking for something (even if it's for someone else). But I don't even think your mil has done anything wrong!

RebornSlippy · 08/12/2017 13:38

Not read this, but FFS! When you link a url to a product, I would imagine it automatically lands on the first size available i.e. XS and you select the size from there.

You sound like hard fucking work, OP. It's not like she's trying to sabotage you by insisting she buys an XS. She's clarifying. Just say, yes defo a large and move on with your life.

More history here than the Magna Carta.

Starlighter · 08/12/2017 13:42

This post made my head hurt!

So you said large.
She said XS.
But he’s actually a medium?!

She’s obviously just confused. Just tell her you’ve checked the label and he is a medium?! Confused

GertrudeBelle · 08/12/2017 13:46

Surely nobody can really be outraged over the fact that her MIL that her DIL was suggesting XS because that came up by default on the website.

OP you sound like and absolutely ocean going lunatic. Your poor MIL.

maddiemookins16mum · 08/12/2017 13:49

The whole sizing issue is confusing from your post.

whiskyowl · 08/12/2017 13:52

Did anyone see Motherland? The DH's inlaws on a visit? PIL of OP sound like this, but worse.

ladylambkin · 08/12/2017 13:53

Choose your battles OP there isn't one here in my opinion

Jaxhog · 08/12/2017 14:00

Chill out, for goodness sake! She's just wants to make sure she gets the size right as the present is from her. If she isn't technically savvy, she may have got confused with the link.

pallisers · 08/12/2017 14:11

love the expression ocean going lunatic.

TroubleinDaFamily · 08/12/2017 14:24

Jesus,

I feel as though I have wandered into some sort of parallel universe.

Looneytune253 · 08/12/2017 14:28

To be fair to her though it doesn’t seem like she’s trying to cause a drama. It seems you are looking for one. You got the size wrong, she pointed it out and all you need to say is ‘ooh sorry you’re right it is a medium’ and that’s that. I know you didn’t say xs but you did say wrong size and she asked to make sure. Simple.

GloriaGutbucket · 08/12/2017 14:31

I feel as though I have wandered into some sort of parallel universe

Medium or Large?

BitOutOfPractice · 08/12/2017 14:42

Must be small as that's the only size that hadn't had a look in on this thread.

badabing36 · 08/12/2017 14:59

I get you op, having to explain a simple thing 20 times is very annoying. Quite often my dm does the exact opposite of what I say. Or texts me saying what was that thing you wanted? When it is there written down in the text above hers. I get that you had tried to be as clear as possible and yet she still misunderstood.

Perhaps it's because she is my dm that I know it's not malicious. But it can be draining none the less.

Simple reply 'M or L will be fine thanks '. (don't put XS in the text at all it will confuse her Grin) Just think it'll be bought soon and you won't have to worry about it.

TroubleinDaFamily · 08/12/2017 15:10

I feel as though I have wandered into some sort of parallel universe

Medium or Large?

GrinGrin

Kitsharrington · 08/12/2017 15:39

OP are you OK? Can you not wrap your head around the fact that the URL you sent would have come up with the XS size by default?

No matter. I'm sure you've found something else completely inconsequential to get het up about by now.

perfectstorm · 08/12/2017 16:55

My mil has insisted on 70% cocoa solids chocolate and a certain CD and still buys my partner all his clothes and has suggested that he moves back in with her. He is 33 I'm soo fed up. I pay for everything he won't get a job every time I bring it up he tries to break up with me

There is one, and only one, good thing about that post: the bit where you call him your partner, and not your husband.

Run. Far away. Don't look back. This has disaster written all over it from so many angles.

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