To tell my child that Father Christmas is not real?

[Purplelipgloss]

I have a newborn baby so I'm thinking ahead here and it is a conversation that DH and I have briefly touched upon in the past.

He thinks that we should tell DS because it's wrong to lie and parents should certainly not lie to their children - could cause trust issues etc.

I however, am a bit more of the opinion that we should play the Santas real game, he'll get over it. I think that the enjoyment in the belief you have as a child by far outweighs being honest here.

Just wondered what everyone else thought and if there were any stories that would help us make a final decision.

I would have been so fucked off with my parents if they had been 'Father Christmas isn't real you know' parents from the start. How horrible.

Having said that, part of the reason I don't do Elf on the Shelf (apart from the main reason which is that I cannot be fucked) is because I'm not sure if you are supposed to make the kids believe he is actually real?!

If you think that you will never lie to your children about anything, you’re fooling yourselves from the start! 😂
Santa is the least of your worries!

A friend of mine who was they youngest child in her family was devastated when she found out they had all been pretending to her. She felt like the butt of a joke they were all in on. So if you do it, I would be very careful about how you do it, and definitely not try to 'keep the magic going' longer than necessary.

Personally, I think children get just as much fun from pretending and playacting anyway.

Really up to you as parents. I loved it as a child & had no 'trust issues' when it eventually dawned on me it wasn't real. My eldest is 10 & I suspect he playing along this year but haven't gone to extreme lengths to make it 'real' n we said if he asks we will be honest. There's always families in school who don't 'do' the Santa thing n if thats what you happy with fine. But if kids end up with trust issues then it's more than about being told there was a Santo!

Oh good god,
Lots of things are lies.

"Don't worry DD there is nothing to be scared of you are safe". An easy nighttime lie right?

Maybe I should say:

"Don't worry DD there is a fairly high chance all is well and you are safe, of course we can't discount fire, burglars, war, Storms, structural building issues, bad dog owners, murderers and other stuff"

Parents tell lies.
Kids need a bit of magic in their lives.

I was not brought up to believe in something that wasn’t true. It has not affected me. Father Christmas is a story and is ok as that. But I think that my parents explaining that I couldn’t have something because they couldn’t afford it is far better than my stepson telling his daughter that Santa doesn’t do bikes.

Well. It's up to you. I'm from an asian household although im born here, I mention this as you'll understand why I wasnt bought up on the typical idea of santa (naughty list, writing him a letter, leaving carrot out for Rudolph etc) I'm pregnant with my first, I personally will most likely follow what my parents said to me only once when I was really young;

Santa is magical. He wasn't around in mum and dads time but they heard since they moved here that he stops by xmas eve with his reindeer friends to make sure no one in the house has opened their presents before Christmas day.
The presents under the tree are from mum and dad uncle x and auntie y (the truth was told to me here, the presents were from those who actually bought them).
This was comforting for me. And I knew who gave me my gifts. And each year i appreciated it. But I still somewhat believed in this magical Santa dude checking to make sure I didn't open them before I should (I never risked what would happen if I did open them...) although he was never really mentioned again that I can think of. Every year from then on I'd end up getting little presents for mum and dad (paid for by either parent) from me. Because I wanted to be apart of this gifting too. Used to get real excited to go get mum a nail polish lol then attempt to wrap it.
It's nice to keep a little of the magic but also help kids see that their loved ones are behind their gifts. And if they wanna believe in FC then they can. I grew out of it quicker than my friends because I always told them what my family bought instead of Mr fat red suit guy so my association was always that my family were involved in it all and magic man had only visited if I thought he did. So it didn't bother me when some kid said Santa isn't real in the playground when i was about 7 or 8. I'd already stopped believing by then and was more interested in trying a different way to wrap presents so they didn't look like a ball of shredded paper and tape.
Each to their own. I quite like how my mum and dad put the onus on me to believe in a magical dude if I wanted to and gave him so little significance. Plus I ended up really appreciating what I got and who I got it from. And seeing mum's face light up when she opened the tat I bought her lol.
There's no right or wrong answer here. I wouldn't take it so seriously though. It's not going to impact their lives in the most drastic fashion like some people are making out on here. Kids grow out of it like they grow out of 'believing' in Peppa pig. Maybe that's what u can say to your DP.

My family born and brought up in the ME (and Muslim) celebrated Christ with their Christian friends, neighbours and teachers and yes, they had santa too.

Why suck the fun out of Christmas for a child?

Especially if your little Timmy is going to tell all the other kids in nursery and primary that santa is FAKE GIFT GIVER.