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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Constant meetings with the school

273 replies

ThisLittleKitty · 06/12/2017 15:50

I feel like my sons school is constantly calling me about something. They seem to want constant meetings with me, I had one on Monday now another one tomorrow! Aibu in thinking this is excessive. They never say what it is on the phone and I feel like I'm constantly being dragged in with my baby and 3 year old. (As you can imagine meetings are diffcult with a baby and a 3 year old) this time they again won't say other than it's "about his behaviour" (this is primary school btw and no SN) how often would you expect to have meetings with the school? How much is too much?

OP posts:
Toffeelatteplease · 06/12/2017 15:53

Id worry more my child's behaviour was so bad I was constantly needed to be called in.

What's going wrong with his behaviour

TeddyIsaHe · 06/12/2017 15:54

Well what is your son doing to warrant so many meetings?

MaggieMeldrum · 06/12/2017 15:54

There must be a problem if they’re calling you in so often

Nanny0gg · 06/12/2017 15:57

Other than parents' evenings I wouldn't , unless there was a problem..

Clearly there is, so what is it and what do they want done about it?

PotteringAlong · 06/12/2017 15:58

If you’re being called in there’s a problem. You need to get to the bottom of what it is and what both you and the school are going to do about it.

LIZS · 06/12/2017 16:00

Find a babysitter or cm for the dc. It must be distracting for everyone having them there. Perhaps they feel the point is being missed if nothing changes.

Eatalot · 06/12/2017 16:01

Like saying police keep arresting me and its so inconvenient with a family. What are the behaviours then we can comment cause at the moment you are sounding like one of THOSE parents!!

WhooooAmI24601 · 06/12/2017 16:03

How old is your son, and are there any additional needs/extra support systems he has in place which would require more contact?

DS1's school phone me most weeks. Generally it's either his tutor or the senco, and generally it's a quick hows-his-week-been? Given that contact with his junior school was like getting blood from a stone I much prefer a school that's quick to involve parents and work with them.

jelliebelly · 06/12/2017 16:03

I'd worry less about the number of meetings and more about your child's behaviour. If your child behaves at school there would be no meetings!

Msqueen33 · 06/12/2017 16:04

I have one if not two meetings with the senco a week but my dc is autistic. A friend of mine was having Daily phones calls from the teacher about her dc (supposedly no Sen). I’d be concerned and ask what is happening and ask for a behaviour management plan and look at how you can back school up.

grasspigeons · 06/12/2017 16:05

Its quite unusual for a school to call parents in for meetings. Well, I suppose I don't have the biggest sample, but the 4 I am aware of don't unless they have quite serious concerns.

Can you take someone along with you to help you understand and ask questions that you haven't thought of to get to the bottom of it?

x2boys · 06/12/2017 16:07

There must be issues? fwiw ds1 is in yr six and other then parents evening and the odd text about wear your own clothes day I have very little contact with the school even though he's on the SEN register, ds2 has complexlearning disabilities and goes to a special school they phone more often but not every week more like 3or 4 times a term.

Sirzy · 06/12/2017 16:09

As others have said you need to get to the bottom of what is going on.

What have previous meetings been about and what have you and School done in response?

DearTeddyRobinson · 06/12/2017 16:13

Sorry OP but I think you're spectacularly missing the point here. There must be serious ongoing problems with your DS' behaviour if the school are calling so often.
What have they suggested as a strategy for dealing with this? What consequences etc are there at home for misbehaviour?
Alternatively are you concerned he may have some undiagnosed SN?

Starlight2345 · 06/12/2017 16:13

The school has some concerns if you are been called in twice a week.

What are the concerns when you get to the meeting?

Are you asking for suggestions how to move forward.

Glumglowworm · 06/12/2017 16:15

YABU

Focus on the reason for the meetings ie your sons behaviour and work with the school to change it.

Wolfiefan · 06/12/2017 16:17

I agree with everyone else. This isn't normal and the school must have serious concerns. I would focus on trying to resolve them.

WitchesHatRim · 06/12/2017 16:18

This isn't the norm and you are being called in for a reason. Your DCs behaviour.

CocaColaTruck · 06/12/2017 16:22

It's very unusual so your son's behaviour must be a very big problem. I'd be more worried about that then so many meetings. At least they are trying to deal with it.

JonSnowsWife · 06/12/2017 16:22

DS has SNs and I'm not called jn that often so something's going wrong somewhere OP.

Yeah it's a PITA but we all have to do stuff we don't like. I've had to 'inconvenience' DSs sibling every time we needed a meeting. Confused

DeloresJaneUmbridge · 06/12/2017 16:25

Hello OP, no this isn't usual and my guess is that they have some concerns about your DS.

This occurred with my DS who was eventually diagnosed with autism and ADHD. Not saying this is what is happening with your child but it sounds like they have some concerns.

So his behaviour in school.....is it very different from home? Is he impulsive? Is he hitting out? Is he overly boisterous? Is he behaving in another way which concerns the school?

My son would hide at school if something had gone wrong or if he was freaked out, the school were always phoning me.

HighwayDragon1 · 06/12/2017 16:29

Apart from parents evening I've had two meetings with school and that was about possible Sen issues and instigated by me.

Maybe listen respond and try to change your son's behaviour

Quartz2208 · 06/12/2017 16:33

Yes it’s unusual a friend complained the teacher she had last year (I have her this year) was always calling. Now with a clearer picture of her behaviour I can see why (never been called)

saladdays66 · 06/12/2017 16:37

I've never been called in to school about my dc's behaviour.

What on earth is your ds doing? It must be something very serious and disruptive if the school is so anxious to see you so often.

reindeercrossing · 06/12/2017 16:42

While it is easy to berate the OP for her son's behaviour, it is also possible in this day and age to address concerns in a way that doesn't involve her physically going in.

I would be enormously stressed if I was called in anywhere and not told why. I actually used to feel sick in previous workplaces if I heard, "Can I have a word?"