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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Constant meetings with the school

273 replies

ThisLittleKitty · 06/12/2017 15:50

I feel like my sons school is constantly calling me about something. They seem to want constant meetings with me, I had one on Monday now another one tomorrow! Aibu in thinking this is excessive. They never say what it is on the phone and I feel like I'm constantly being dragged in with my baby and 3 year old. (As you can imagine meetings are diffcult with a baby and a 3 year old) this time they again won't say other than it's "about his behaviour" (this is primary school btw and no SN) how often would you expect to have meetings with the school? How much is too much?

OP posts:
curryforbreakfast · 07/12/2017 15:47

What happened then OP?

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 07/12/2017 15:47

Are you really suggesting they should have just ignored your child zoning out in the middle of lessons, purring? And that because your ds is apparently ok now it naturally follows that op's child has no issues either?
Hopefully you aren't, because that would make you very, very stupid.

Purringkittenmama · 07/12/2017 15:55

Well then maybe I am very, very stupid, as yes, i do think they should have ignored normal behaviour such as biting the top of his water bottle. At the meeting to discuss this, my DH piped up that a colleague of his (in a professional environment) chewed his pen and no-one thought it was a big deal , and was immediately informed that this chap probably had some form of problem. (Obviously being teachers, they were in a position to make this diagnosis).

NotAgainYoda · 07/12/2017 16:09

The problem seems to be that the OP assumes this is about getting her or her son 'in trouble. Parents fighting in the playground and 'not getting into trouble' have nothing to do with your son's situation. The school isn't trying to get you into trouble or 'report you' to SS

Purring You seem to be assuming that too. "As long as he's not being disruptive". Teachers don't just notice disruptive behaviour; they notice behaviour that seems to interfere with learning, or that seems to be linked with anxiety

Purringkittenmama · 07/12/2017 16:16

Yoda, it is merely the fact that a lot of stuff which schools seem keen to discuss is trivial. When you have a small DC, it can seem, as it did to me, as though the school seems to jump on anything. In fact most of these so-called issues will just pass with no long term ill effects. And I do believe that most parents will be aware if there is any genuine issue with their DC. Obviously if this is the case I would echo others who suggest that help should be sought.

Jigglytuff · 07/12/2017 18:43

Unless a child is disruptive, schools rarely call parents in @purring as most teachers are simply way, way too busy and have better things to do with their time. As has been attested by many of them on this thread.

And no, a lot of parents aren't aware there are any issues with their DC because they have a massive blind spot. I certainly did.

How old is your DS now incidentally?

Sirzy · 08/12/2017 14:01

How did the meeting go?

Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 08/12/2017 14:06

Sorry forgot to come back.
It was much of the same thing. Just that they had spoken to the school nurse who suggested pica and that he could possibly be deficient in something so to take him to the drs and ask for a blood test. I realise I was being ridiculous now so I hold my hands up! I was being unreasonable. I think not knowing what it was for got me abit worried needlessly, and some things are better to discuss face to face.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThisLittleKitty · 08/12/2017 14:08

They also bought him something to chew on as an alternative which they wanted to show me to make sure I was ok with him having it.

OP posts:
Mia1415 · 08/12/2017 14:13

This thread and your attitude is very sad OP.

I'm sorry but nursery is an important step in getting children ready for school. It teaches them so many important skills for the future and you are setting your children up to fail by not taking them. I'm sorry to be that blunt but I really think its true.

If the school are calling you in for meetings (as others have said) it must be because they have serious concerns. They wouldn't be doing it otherwise. Why would they?

Please, please listen to what people (and more importantly the school) are telling you.

Sirzy · 08/12/2017 14:14

Glad the meeting went well. Hopefully the chew helps

Ellisandra · 08/12/2017 14:15

@Mia1415

RTFT is generally good advice.

But RTF last 2 posts that happen to be by the OP herself is surely a bare minimum? Hmm

OP, I'm glad you're feeling better.

Wolfiefan · 08/12/2017 14:18

I'm glad they had some useful suggestions. I hope the bloods go well and the chew alternative works for now.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/12/2017 14:36

I could be wildly wrong, but I'm sure op posted this thread for support and advice.
Not to have her nose rubbed in the fact that everyone else's kids are little saints. Hence all the "I've never been called up to the school about my child's behaviour. We also have one saying very rarely, well last time I checked very rarely wasn't never.
The words stones throw glass and houses come to mind.

curryforbreakfast · 08/12/2017 14:39

Not to have her nose rubbed in the fact that everyone else's kids are little saints

That isn't even slightly what anyone said. Hmm

eddiemairswife · 08/12/2017 15:30

Come on Mia. For me and my contemporaries nurseries just weren't around when our children were small, and the great majority settled in at school perfectly well.

MrsBadger · 08/12/2017 16:16

(There are quite a few kids at our school who have done really well with chew tags - how great that the school has taken action on this.)

mummyhaschangedhername · 08/12/2017 17:02

Glad you're ok OP and they school are being supportive. Let us know how it goes with the GP,

fidgettt · 08/12/2017 17:36

Mia probably Xposted!

fidgettt · 08/12/2017 17:39

OP, I'm glad things went well with the school. Pica is often caused by iron deficiency. I'm sure you'll get an answer on that with the blood tests, but perhaps keep an open mind about the possibility of sensory issues too?

justalittlelemondrizzle · 08/12/2017 17:42

What problems are they having with his behaviour? Sorry, I'm just trying to ascertain whether they abu or not.

Jigglytuff · 08/12/2017 17:42

That sounds really positive @ThisLittleKitty - and they sound really on the ball.

DS has lots of lovely chewy things from here: sensoryoojamabobs.co.uk/

CupOfFrothyCoffee · 08/12/2017 21:43

I could be wildly wrong, but I'm sure op posted this thread for support and advice.
Not to have her nose rubbed in the fact that everyone else's kids are little saints. Hence all the "I've never been called up to the school about my child's behaviour. We also have one saying very rarely, well last time I checked very rarely wasn't never

OP DID ask how often people would expect to have meetings with their childs school, that's why pp were saying(including me)they'd never been called in for meeting or if they were, how many times.

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