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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up of people telling me how dangerous......

300 replies

starshaker · 02/12/2017 17:40

riding a motorbike is. I am aware of the dangers and risks. I came off a few weeks ago during a lesson and i was ok because of the gear I wear. Since then all people tell me is how dangerous it is and how selfish I am when I have kids.

If finally found something I love to do and I bought a little 125 to gain experience and confidence before I go to try for my full license again.

I wrote my first car off and was told not to give up and the best thing I could do was get straight back out before the fear took hold. I hurt myself more in the car than I did on the bike

OP posts:
crazycatgal · 02/12/2017 17:44

It's not really about you making a mistake on a motorbike - it's other people. The amount of car drivers who pull out on bikes is ridiculous.

It's good that you're wearing the proper gear and taking safety seriously though. I'm sure that the people going on at you just worry about your safety.

Ruthlessrooster · 02/12/2017 17:44

I agree. I also feel far safer on my motorbike than I do being driven in a car by someone else. The two times I've com3 close to dying on the roads have been as a passenger in a car.

Flupi · 02/12/2017 17:44

Well.......it is dangerous. It’s not necessarily your skills, it’s the other road users. It’s statistically more dangerous than driving a car. You may get a buzz out of it but don’t pretend it’s not dangerous!

Original poster
starshaker · 02/12/2017 17:48

I said I was aware of the dangers and the risks but being told constantly im going to kill myself isn't exactly great. I ride very defensively and wear high viz etc.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/12/2017 18:10

Keep your helmet on then you won't hear them?

StarWarsFanatic · 02/12/2017 18:13

Eating can be dangerous if you choke, for that reason I never eat solid food when home alone Grin

Seriously though you are right, as long as you are aware of the risks and are doing what you can to mitigate them that should be enough for other people. It won't be, there are some subjects that everyone feels compelled to voice their opinions on & motorcycling is one of them. You will have to get used to it, you shouldn't have to but you will.

WinnieFosterTether · 02/12/2017 18:18

People are going to tell you it's dangerous because, statistically, it is. If you're ok with the risks then the comments shouldn't bother you.

aurorie11 · 02/12/2017 18:21

I think it depends on your experience of motorcycles, someone I grew up with died aged just 18 on his bike. It would scare me if one of my DCs wanted to go on one, yes it’s completely irrational but experience colours your view. Ultimately you are an adult and make your own decisions

underneaththeash · 02/12/2017 18:21

It is really dangerous, you're 30-40 x more likely to die in a road accident than a car driver. Can you imagine the affect on your children if they were to lose you?

Can you not find a safer hobby?

TiklyBooYack · 02/12/2017 18:21

It's not about you, it's the other people.Car drivers can be shit at noticing bikes.
DH and I both rode, we stopped when we had kids. Not because we are bad riders, quite the opposite. It was the car drivers.

TheGoodEnoughWife · 02/12/2017 18:28

My dh died while riding a scooter, wasn't his fault in any way - he hit the windscreen of the car that hit him and tore his aorta and died.
I don't think there would be any better jacket he could have been wearing unless it was one of those air bag jackets I have seen since.
The attitude of 'it won't happen to me because I drive safely/am aware/observant or the same such thing pisses me off because it kind of infers it was his fault - it wasn't.

Although if you want to take the risk that is your choice, of course. Maybe just have a standard 'I know the risks and I am happy to ride anyway' then change the subject!

Draylon · 02/12/2017 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

winglesspegasus · 02/12/2017 18:31

take lessons and safety courses
ruthless had the same
love my bikes started 50 years ago on a 50cc dirtsquirt have built 6 others since. and this is my pride and joy
the people who say they are dangerous are probably the ones you should avoid driving aroundGrin

to be fed up of people telling me how dangerous......
Ermm · 02/12/2017 18:33

35% more likely to have a fatal crash than in a passenger vehicle - which have.

So - I suppose they’re trying to understand how you could take that sort of risk given the potential impact on your children.

I understand their perspective. Weighing up the benefits to you of a hobby you enjoy versus the devastating potential impact on your children. They think you’ve made a very dubious call. I agree with them.

I think the question is more when is it reasonable for someone else to make a comment about a risk you are taking with your children’s health and wellbeing. Which is not really clear cut.

winglesspegasus · 02/12/2017 18:34

draylon its all a matter of center of gravity have friend who is 4'9 and 90lbs and can pick up any size bike there is,
grab the bars stick your hip against the frame and push with your legs

iamyourequal · 02/12/2017 18:35

the people who say they are dangerous are probably the ones you should avoid driving around
What a really dumb statement.
I knew someone who died at 19 on his motorbike. OP they make you extremely vulnerable however careful you are. That's why people are warning you.

Valerrie · 02/12/2017 18:39

It is dangerous. I've lost two family members on bikes and the reason people call you selfish is because it is. They didn't even have children and the impact it has had on the family is immense.

ConciseandNice · 02/12/2017 18:44

YANBU, if you want to engage in what is essentially dangerous behaviour. It’s your call. I used to work in a radiography company. We did reports on orthopaedic and neuroradiology scans . Mainly MRI. I’d say at least 80% of scans were mororbike accidents, and accompanying paralysis, 15% cancer and 5% other. It’s not something I’ll ever forget. But yes, it’s up to you. It’s not something I’d do with kids, but if I were young and footloose then who cares if I kill myself on a bike.

Original poster
starshaker · 02/12/2017 18:55

Maybe car drivers should be more aware. Is crossing a road being selfish, driving a car or anything else that has risks.
When I am driving I make sure I keep a look out for all road users whether its pedestrians, cyclists, motorcyclists or tractors.

OP posts:
AstridWhite · 02/12/2017 19:00

I ride very defensively

What does that even mean? I never understand what constitutes riding or driving defensively.

RefuseTheLies · 02/12/2017 19:01

My DH sold both his bikes as soon as I got pregnant. He’d been riding for 20 years with no accidents (but some near misses). I was very relieved when he said it was too risky a hobby to continue when he was about to become a dad.

OMGtwins · 02/12/2017 19:02

Car drivers are the biggest risk, yes, but if there is an accident they sent the metal box they're in, not themselves.

I recommend that you do an IAM or ROSPA advanced motorcycling course and get a will. It is your choice, but those two things will help should the worst happen. I'm from a family of bikers and that's what we all do.

OMGtwins · 02/12/2017 19:03

Dent, not sent!

Gizmo79 · 02/12/2017 19:03

It’s a calculated risk, just like anything else.
I miss my bike, gave it up after having my DD, but only because I couldn’t afford to run a car and bike.

StarWarsFanatic · 02/12/2017 19:05

Car drivers should be more aware but they aren't. It isn't right but it is a fact.

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