to be fed up of people telling me how dangerous......

[starshaker]

riding a motorbike is. I am aware of the dangers and risks. I came off a few weeks ago during a lesson and i was ok because of the gear I wear. Since then all people tell me is how dangerous it is and how selfish I am when I have kids.

If finally found something I love to do and I bought a little 125 to gain experience and confidence before I go to try for my full license again.

I wrote my first car off and was told not to give up and the best thing I could do was get straight back out before the fear took hold. I hurt myself more in the car than I did on the bike

It's a calculated risk for me, I didn't injure my back riding and I'm probably just as likely to injure it again by sneezing

I know, right?! I sneezed once and my head fell off!

So you see. Sneezing is just as dangerous as riding a motorbike.

You wrote a car off, fell off a horse have recently fallen off a bike during a lesson and you are planning on continuing riding... Hmm sounds Ike a plan 🤦🏻‍♀️

New riders are far, far more at risk than experienced riders.

That's not what I'm saying
People were telling me off for doing a hobby I have always done (28 years) and never been injured doing. Yet I've nearly paralysed myself by doing nothing, and broken both ankles falling down the stairs

You just do what is appropriate - I agree with the life insurance suggestion. You wear the right safety equipment and be as safe as you can, maybe take an extra bike course if there is one, like an advanced driving one?

I worked with a man who was an expert motorcyclist. We got a phone call one day saying he'd died on it. It doesn't matter how skilled you think you are, it is a very unsafe way of getting around.

My brother has had several friends/ aquaintances die as a result of motor bike accidents. He has also owned motorbikes on and off and we always worry about him. It is a dangerous hobby but life is short and if it makes you happy then keep doing it

Ive been a poster on here for about 13 years now.

I work in A&E. There is no way any of my family would ever have a motorbike, ever. However one of my colleagues has a few, and has seen the same accidents I have.

It's your choice, however leaving your children alone and destitute is wrong. Get some life insurance, if you can afford fuel you can afford insurance.

YouThought I wrote a car off when I was 20, ive never had even a bump since then, the horse riding accident was not my fault and the bike accident was a stupid mistake that I haven't repeated and ive learnt from.

I have now sorted out life insurance, not sure how much it will cost because of medical issues but i need to wait for the info.

Problem is, OP, that accidents don't leave you unscathed because they aren't your fault. You really, really do need good life insurance. At least that way if the worst happened your kids would be able to say pay uni fees without vast debts, or put a deposit on a flat when older. Just a bit of a head start in life. If you post on Legal, people will help you with the wording - the trust forms are easy to do, you just ask for them with the insurance docs. I'd also post on MoneySavingExpert - there's bound to be a bikers area, or someone on the life insurance bit who can tell you who is a good insurer for a biker. They helped my mum with travel insurance for someone with cancer a few years back.

you mean you’ve enquired about life insurance. If you had it sorted you would know the cost, what you were covered for, how much you were worth etc.

Cross post - good for you.

Give her a break, people said she should get life insurance, she has taken it on board and is sorting it. Way to bully someone with mental health issues for doing something that makes her happy. Some replies on this thread are ridiculous and ignorant.

im sorry battered if I worded things wrong. I have started the process, filled out the forms, put my bank details in and now I need to wait for them to tell me what I will need to pay and probably do lots or other things that im too stupid to know about.

Yes Turquoise I have heard that slang for bikers in emergency rooms in the US is 'donors'. They probably tend to be dying relatively healthy or young so making good donors. It isn't exactly tactful but it is a fairly universal term for them among medics I think, gallows humour and all that.

I actually agree OP that you are aware of the dangers and it is not really appropriate for people to keep on telling you about them. I know a couple of bikers and I never hassle them about the danger because I assume they have made their choice. I agree that for you mental health may be even more of a risk that the hobby that makes you feel better. Still, I think it would be good to consider trying to find other ways to help yourself and not rely too much on a risky activity. Easier said than done I know.

Well done on the life insurance

I must be twice as selfish as you are op as I bought my dh a Ninja ZX10-R for our wedding anniversary!!
It has been his dream to own this model of bike since he was a teenager, and even though we have 4 dc I still went ahead and bought one for him 😂
Seriously, lots of things are dangerous, but you are taking sensible precautions so enjoy yourself.

Yes, well done on the life insurance. I promise that it will help tremendously should the worst happen.

It is good that you have found a hobby that helps your MH issues that some PP have alluded to.

It seems to me that you are getting frustrated with people pointing out the (very real) dangers of being a motorcyclist compared to most other ways of getting around because you are quite defensive about it. If you were secure in your choice of transport/hobby/way to treat how you feel, you'd feel more able to shrug comments off and not get irked by them.

Please do get life insurance - anybody with children should have that, whatever they get up to.

Fwiw, while I have never been a rider myself, my brother has been in his 20s and I used to ride pillion with him all the time (cheap way to get home after a late night out ). It was great fun and exiting (in a good way) and I really, really cool.
I stopped v abruptly after working on an orthopaedic ward as a medical student - dying on a motorbike is obviously awful, but sometimes surviving is no picknick either.
My DB has recently started riding again, he is approaching 50.

I became acutely aware about quite how soft and vulnerable my body was, how hard the tarmac was, and how close to each other the two moved at high speed.

Being a non-dead motorcyclist does not only depend on YOU avoiding any mistakes, but also all OTHER road users not making any mistakes. For obvious reasons, the motorcyclist is more vulnerable (even with all the protective gear in the world) than a car driver, even if the car driver is in the wrong.

Btw, referring to motorcyclists as 'organ donors' is really quite common place in the medical world: Young, healthy people with catastrophic head injuries . I am not defending this practice, just reporting it.

I know about the organ donor comment and I carry a card. You are braver than me. I couldn't be a pillion. I cant even deal with being a passenger in a car.

If you travel on anything that can goes faster than you can run , you are obviously at risk of serious injury if anything goes wrong , so that is motorbikes , bicycles , horses , snowboards/ski's etc .

Not the duchess, sorry I’m just repeating what he said when we were on our way to the funeral of a much loved 44yr old biker who’d left three kids and a wife devastated.

I also have a job which can be harrowing and sometime dark humour with colleagues is the only way to get through it.

Well, I think you haven't represented yourself well. I think in your case you need to point out is that yes you are accepting that there is a higher risk of a bad outcome, you might die or have horrific injuries. You cannot avoid the truth of that. But in your situation it improves your quality of life in terms of helping your mental health (you have tried other things), and so, for you, the risk is worth it. You aren't using it as a transport option, but as a mental health treatment.

And yes definitely a good thing to get the life insurance, well done for sorting it out.

Tbh, I feel a bit the same way about people rock climbing, horse riding or off piste skiing. Bit selfish if you've got kids. But not up to me to tell them off for it.

DH has been riding bikes for nearly four decades but I gave up riding pillion when DC was born. You can ride safely, have Police training etc. but, for me, the risk of an idiot knocking you off or just not looking is too high when you have children. Of course, it's an individual decision, but the thought of DC losing both his parents in a bike accident wasn't worth it. DH loves his bikes so much that if he is stressed I will find him in the garage polishing them (& no, that's not a euphemism). OP, if something happens to you, who will look after your children?

Well me and DH are as selfish as you OP.

We both have bikes. DS(9) has his own MX bike. Oh and he also rides pillion with DH

We are fully aware of the risks and don't need people to constantly tell us as though we somehow we forgot

(and I know, I'm a shit parent letting my PFB partake in a hobby he's been brought up around his entire life - go ahead, flame me now.....)

YANBU. People need to mind their own beeswax.