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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if it’s pathetic to live with parents aged 37?

317 replies

orangecloves · 01/12/2017 14:37

I just don’t like living on my own but I’ve had a few ‘jokey’ comments at work about it and I’m wondering if 2018 should be the year I fly free ...

OP posts:
zoomer445 · 01/12/2017 17:45

I think if my mum hadn't met my step dad then I would still be living at home. My husband works away for months at a time and I don't enjoy being alone. If you enjoy living with family and you're content then I think that's fine X

steff13 · 01/12/2017 17:45

Do any of your friends know a single guy they could set you up with? What sorts of things do you like to do? I'd suggest just trying new things, without looking towards meeting someone, but just to enrich your own life.

You're single with no dependents and can't afford to live on your own; what can you do to resolve that situation? More education, better job? Even if you enjoy living with your parents, it wouldn't hurt to get yourself in a better financial position.

Original poster
orangecloves · 01/12/2017 17:45

Just a normal one. Job. Husband. Kids. Home. Family Christmas. You know Ewan mcgregor at the end of Trainspotting? That. Smile

OP posts:
brasty · 01/12/2017 17:45

But OP is not content.

But if you do nothing and simply give up, nothing will change.

Draylon · 01/12/2017 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brasty · 01/12/2017 17:46

Are you religious? If so maybe getting involved in a church might be a way to meet people? Especially an evangelical one.

Original poster
orangecloves · 01/12/2017 17:46

Thing that you’re missing bratsy is I’ve tried doing something, or doing some things anyway, and still am where I am now.

OP posts:
Original poster
orangecloves · 01/12/2017 17:47

No, I am not religious

OP posts:
brasty · 01/12/2017 17:47

Do you know why they have failed?

ohtheholidays · 01/12/2017 17:47

It's the parents I'd feel sorry for,I can't believe people are saying well if that's what you want,what about the poor parents?

They've done they're child rearing surely they should be allowed some time alone now as a married couple,they aren't just Mum and Dad there's so much more to them and they're relationship they should be able to enjoy they're home together without having to fit around one of they're adult children!

We have 5DC and if they all decided to stay home well into they're 30's there'd be no room for all of us and me and my DH would never get any alone time.

steff13 · 01/12/2017 17:48

if people are frustrated reading about my life they need to try living it.

Your life is what you make it. Without a family depending on you, you could literally do anything you want. What do you want to do? How can you make it happen?

Original poster
orangecloves · 01/12/2017 17:48

I suppose because of me.

OP posts:
brasty · 01/12/2017 17:48

What about you?

zoomer445 · 01/12/2017 17:49

Could you live in an apartment or flat? Would you feel safer?

PleaseDontGoadTheToad · 01/12/2017 17:49

Are you autistic OP?

Original poster
orangecloves · 01/12/2017 17:50

LOL and I’ve tried all that. Hence the debt! Tried travelling and convinced myself I was happy and carefree, single with no dependents and it was great. Actually it was awful. Scary, dull and I couldn’t do most of the stuff I wanted to as it was designed for couples and families.

Why other people get angry at a worthless piece of shit I don’t know? Why don’t you just think ‘thank fuck I am not her’ and move on?

OP posts:
Original poster
orangecloves · 01/12/2017 17:50

Erm no I’m not autistic... sorry.

OP posts:
cansu · 01/12/2017 17:50

If you are happy with it then that's fine, but I have to say I possibly would think it odd. I think part of being an adult is having your own home and setting your own routines. Living alone doesn't mean you never see your parents.

PleaseDontGoadTheToad · 01/12/2017 17:51

Why are you apologising for not being autistic?

If you thought travelling was scary then perhaps you have anxiety.

loobyloo1234 · 01/12/2017 17:52

I was asking because the AIBU was answered. So I don't understand why you have posted on here but not taken any advice nor answered some questions? You come across as a very lovely person, but also very defensive

Surely you want help to move out, move on, date etc, else why would you post? Take some advice on board OP. I think it would do you a world of good. Not to mention, let your parents live their lives without you ... as they should

user838383 · 01/12/2017 17:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RhiWrites · 01/12/2017 17:53

It’s been a jillion years since I saw Trainspotting and I don’t really remember it.

I suppose job, husband, kids and family Christmas are all “normal” aspirations but they’re a bit about other people not about you.

I guess I’m trying to understand how you can feel more fulfilled. Do you like kids in general, for example, so would you want to volunteer at a children’s home or school? Or if you had your own kids what do you imagine doing with them? Crafts? Going to the park? Could you do crafts on your own or get a dog and walk in the park?

PleaseDontGoadTheToad · 01/12/2017 17:53

Why did you post? Do you actually want advice?

NameChanger22 · 01/12/2017 17:53

RhiWrites

It's often the case that big dreams and aspirations make people more miserable because they are unachievable. I don't know anyone that's living their dream life.

I think people get depressed when the gap between that they want and what they can have is huge.

Lizzie48 · 01/12/2017 17:53

But if you're frustrated with your life then you need to think about things you would like to do to change it. It's your life, and life is too short to waste not living it the way you want to live it.

If you are happy then it doesn't matter what other people think, especially not on an anonymous forum.

But if you want things to be different, the only person who can change things is you yourself. You do deserve to be happy. Thanks