To wonder if it’s pathetic to live with parents aged 37?

[orangecloves]

I just don’t like living on my own but I’ve had a few ‘jokey’ comments at work about it and I’m wondering if 2018 should be the year I fly free ...

[user1andonly]

I don't think it's pathetic as long as everyone pulls their weight and is happy about the situation. It is unusual though.

I have a 22 year old at home who works, pays rent, sorts his own food (sometimes I feel like offering to cook for everyone but it's not expected) washing etc. gives his younger sister lifts if he's available. It works well but I think I'd probably want him to fly the nest long before 37 so have encouraged him to start saving with a view to buying in the next few years - we're up north though so he could get a small house without killing himself financially (no partner on the scene so far!)

I totally understand why you wouldn't fancy a house share. How about a small flat so you'd have people around but not actually in your space.

Ultimately though, as long as your parents are genuinely fine about you still being there, then what harm are you doing anyone?

[BackforGood]

I don't think it is pathetic. It depends on all circumstances. It really isn't anything to do with anyone else so just do what suits you (and your parents, of course).

[GreatDuckCookery6211]

It’s a little unusual I guess but if you’re all happy with this arrangement fuck when anyone else thinks OP. People are pretty rude to joke about it imo. There could be all sorts of reasons why you’re still at home.

[artisancraftbeer]

Just tell everyone your parents live with you. No one will bat an eyelid

[NamedyChangedy]

I don't think it's pathetic at all, if you and your parents are happy with the arrangement. You're probably saving a lot as well. What would you like your life in 2018 to look like?

[K0729P]

There is no hard and fast rules about this sort of thing.

If it suits you and your parents then fine. However, without being morbid, if anything was to happen to your parents, do you feel you have sufficient experience to live on your own at that point?
An aunt of mine always lived with my grandparents (she is now in her 60s). They have both passed away (over the space of the past 20 years with one being 3 years ago) and she is really struggling with the most common of tasks etc/cleaning/basic knowledge of technology and is finding life quite lonely as she was used to having people around her all the time.

[Jaxhog]

Provided you can live an adult life (paying your way, looking after your own needs etc) AND your parents are happy, then why not?

Living on your own isn't obligatory.

[brasty]

Yes in house shares there are petty arguments, but this is part of learning to live with other people who will not be as forgiving or indulgent as parents.

[ArcheryAnnie]

If you conduct yourself as an adult then it's not pathetic at all. In fact, in one half of my own family the cultural expectation is that at least one child (in this culture, the son) of the household never leaves, brings their spouse to live at the family home, and as the parents age the younger couple gradually take over the financial and other commitments of running the household. It's the expectation, not the exception.

If your mum still does your laundry, you never pay rent or make the dinner, and you still have an East17 poster up on your bedroom wall, that's a different matter...

[MikeUniformMike]

If you and your parents are happy with it it's fine.

[Ellie56]

I think you'd find a lot of children still live at home with parents who are aged 37...

[RidingWindhorses]

You don't think that living with your parents makes you less motivated to get out there and find a partner?

How do you find dating with your parents around?

[x2boys]

My aunt always lived with my grandparents in her case she had never married or had children and I guess it worked for all of them shes in her late 70,s so a generation older then you , they all moved to be nearer to two more of my aunt's and their families so when my grandparents died my aunt that lived with them already lived around the corner from two of her sisters.

[RedSkyAtNight]

I find it pretty weird that a 37 year old is still living with their parents, if there are no particular circumstances that make this necessary.

If I were looking for a partner I would find this hugely off putting - an indication of lack of maturity - which is something that OP might want to bear in mind if she is hoping to have a family of her own some day.

[Santasbigredbobblehat]

I’m 37 and couldn’t imagine much worse than still living at home but that’s me. My brother is 32 and he still lives my mum and I don’t know how he doesn’t w

[MrsJayy]

I think if you are content to live at home if your parents are fine with it then why not. Are you living as an adult though ? my sister lived at home till recently and she was like a 30 something teenager it wasn't healthy my parents babied her and she let them. My dd is moving out i can't imagine her living with me at 37

[Bridechilla]

Are your parents happy with the situation?

[Santasbigredbobblehat]

Want to have his own space. I suppose it might impact on your live life, however, if you’re happy and they’re happy, why not.

[orangecloves]

As far as I know, they want me to meet someone and they want grandchildren, though, so it’s not about me living with them if you see what I mean.

[RidingWindhorses]

Yes I have to admit that while I think it's fine for the OP to do what she wants, it would massively put me off a guy if he were living at home at that age unless it was for a specific reason - moved back home to save for a mortgage, to do a PhD, care for a sick/disabled parent etc.

[RidingWindhorses]

That was to RedSky

[MidniteScribbler]

I lived at home for quite a few years in adulthood. My mother died in my teens, and my dad was living alone. I went overseas to live and work for several years, and when I came back, I went back home until I found myself a new place. I ended up staying for several years because my dad owned his house outright and didn't need me to pay any rent, we shared all of the other household costs whilst I was there. He really enjoyed cooking and like having someone else to cook for. I was working full time, and he was retired, so he would cook and had dinner ready for me when I got home, which we usually accompanied with lots of wine (he was my best drinking buddy) and then I would do the washing up. I worked for both of us, and it wasn't about 'staying home' but living in a situation that both parties got something from.

[maddiemookins16mum]

I think it's odd. A colleague of mine is nearly 40, still lives at home, sleeps in a single bed, mum cooks her tea, does her washing (my colleague doesn't know how to use it), and she acts like a 15 year old.
If financial issues aren't a concern, I think it's unusual for any grown adult approaching late 30's to want to still live with parents, do you see yourself still there in another 10 years approaching 50?

[RockinRobinTweets]

I wouldn't want to start dating a man who still lived at home age 37. I think that if you want a relationship and kids then you would probably be a lot more successful if you were living on your own.

[orangecloves]

I don’t really earn enough to buy or rent somewhere independently where we live tbh ... not alone anyway.