About not splitting the bill?

[TattiusTeddius]

At work we are about to merge teams with a group of about 10 people who work for the same organisation but in a different building and do a very similar job to us. The team managers organised a Christmas night out tonight to get to know each other a bit better. They picked a place that wasn’t too expensive for a meal, and we put in pre-orders and paid £10 deposit per head.

I only ordered a main as I wasn’t crazy about any of the starters or desserts, and so did a few colleagues from my team. Mine was £10.50 so I was only supposed to owe 50p tonight plus whatever drinks I’d buy.

It was established at the beginning that everyone would order and pay for their own drinks at the bar as some people were drinking and some weren’t. Some people (mostly from the other team) had pre-ordered 3 courses, which would be around the £35/£40 Mark in total.

We all had a lovely night and made the effort to mix with each other, everyone seems to get along well. However When the bill came, one (of the better paid) members of the other team took charge and calculated that because the food bill was £216 we owed £13.50 each.

I was , as I should have only owed 50p, I was going to put £3 in to cover that and a tip. 2 of my younger colleagues, who are on less money than me, looked a bit annoyed as well. One is on minimum wage and the other has just had a baby so I know that they could do with the money. One of them was technically owed 50p as her main was only £9.50 and she ordered nothing else.

Anyway I spoke up and said that I think it’s only fair for me and the 2 colleagues to put in what we owe as we only had one course each. The ‘organiser’ from the other team argued the toss, saying that she thought we were splitting the bill evenly and that we should have made it clear at the start of the meal if we only wanted to pay for our own. I said I didn’t think I should have to point that out when there’s a £25 difference in what some people are ordering (she had 3 courses BTW). I stood my ground and we and a couple of others paid for our own, everyone else split between them (it went up to £18 each when split). The 2 younger colleagues thanked me quietly afterwards btw!

The manager from the other team has text my manager after the meal saying that it’s ‘unspirited and unsharing’ to insist on paying for our own meals and that’s not how they do it in their team. She made a joke about us being skinflints, but I do think it was just a joke. She basically doesn’t think it bodes well if we have an ‘every man for themself attitude’. My manager is on our side, she wanted me to know about the messages to give me a heads up in case they bring it up with me but she’s going to reply tomorrow fighting our corner.

WIBU or do they have a point? It’s gonna be awful when we merge isn’t it?

But you can't say that they would do that as you can't speak for everyone.

The fact that people have been asked to pay £30 for £10 worth of food and drink proves that some people don't consider others when ordering or the cost impact that their expensive order may have on a light eater or someone on a budget.

@ Tattius Teddius
Well done for speaking up - you were totally right to do that. I have found myself in the same situation on more than one occasion - and it really annoys me.

Funnily enough, the people that don't agree with paying 'only what they owe' (in my experience) seem to be the ones who've ordered far too much and were hoping to get away with not paying the full amount.

No, but they might eg go for a starter or a chateaubriand if they know they won't be stiffing anyone else by doing so, so the announcement of split bills would cause them to choose something more average.

But if they wanted to pig out, then they should say at the start that they want to pay for their own so they don't have to reign it in? I would, and have when out with friends if I really wanted to splash out (I think its horrid that some think they can splash out and then get others to pick up the tab, really awful and yes, stingy) or who weren't drinking whilst I wanted to get pissed. Easy enough done.

Noone would have any issue at all if some weren't cheeky fuckers. But a lot of cheeky fuckers exist.

A well timed piece in time for Christmas when so many of us are expected to subsidise our work colleagues in the name of “fun”. I don’t usually drink on work events and it’s very rare that anyone suggests that I contribute less. Most welcome when that happens!!

I really hate splitting the bill. There's always one person that is a greedy bastard eats more or drinks more and then expects everyone else to subsidise. An extra £13 would have pissed me off too. I've been in a similar situation and not spoken up. Im glad you did

But if they wanted to pig out, then they should say at the start that they want to pay for their own so they don't have to [rein] it in? [...] Noone would have any issue at all if some weren't cheeky fuckers. But a lot of cheeky fuckers exist.

In the context of the OP, the CFs had set out their stall quite plainly: their choices were circulated in advance. And still TwatManager thought it appropriate to split the bill.

I don't know what the answer is, given that CFs exist and hide among us in normal clothing etc. It seems more honest and also simple self-preservation to declare/arrange split bills from the start. But it is easiest when one person attends to the whole bill.

Olivia but that's not people who are paying their own way - that's a thief. You (general) should be prepared and able to pay AT LEAST for what you have ordered. That's the long and short of it.

Of course, but it is clear from some PP that others are not honest My friend paid a lot of money out as some of her 'friends' decided not to pay for what they actually ate and drank. Just as bad as those expecting to be subsidised.

Yeah I don't get why it should be said at the start either to be honest. Why?

It saves a lot of crap at the end of a meal. If you are eating with a CF or more than one CF, they know they cannot get away with ordering what they like and being subsidised. Setting the scene helps manage expectations. It also helps those on a lower budget as they can manage their finances.