Why did you stop at two children?

[TwinklyGiraffe]

And did you definitely feel ‘done?’

I’m not done, but due to circumstances there won’t be any more children!

Would love to hear positive things about having 2!

I know it doesn’t matter how many children other people have but most people I know have 3!

I’ve a boy and a girl if it’s relevant!

I stopped at 2 because we had massive problems with the 2nd pregnancy and thought DC would have a major issue after he was born. It turns out he doesn't but we feel like we dodged a bullet and may not be so lucky again. I just can't chance having that issue again and this time it resulting in a worse outcome.

Now I have 2 I can see that with 3 I would be super broke.

I didn't, I had 3 found it incredibly easy to get pregnant even when on contraception but I was told after my third that another pregnancy could kill me so I was sterilised.

Having kids is crazy expensive and it gets worse as they get older.

Very boring reasons, mostly listed already.

1. Finanances ( we wanted private secondary to be an option)
2. we have one of each and I promised she we would stop if I got my girl
3. timing my dm had a baby when I was 12 and tbh it wasn't great. I think had we gone for 3 we would have ended up with a similar Gap and I just couldn't do it to the dcs

Money, bedrooms, cars not able to fit 3 children and don't want to get new ones, my age, husbands age and also the fact I give birth to large babies and I don't really want to see if number 3 would be the largest of them all....

I stopped at 2 mainly for practical reasons - fit in cars easier, I have 2 hands, that's how many 1 adult is allowed to be with at the swimming pool etc.

I was one of 4, so I might put more weight on the practical matters - but it was a real pain not fitting in a normal car etc. as a kid.

We were pondering a third, but then we visited my sister and her young baby, and on the way home we looked at each other and had both been having the same thought - that we didn't want to go through the completely dependent baby stage again, just when our two were getting more independent.

I have horrible pregnancies and a horrible time getting pregnant. I’m expecting our second in the new year and think we should quit while we’re ahead. I’m grateful everyday for what we have. Plus I just don’t think I can do another awful pregnancy

I was lucky enough to have two healthy boys. Even though I had straightforward pregnancies, I found going from one to two ridiculously hard and found the tiredness hellish. I feel soft saying that when my kids dont have additional needs but have found being a Mum pretty hard tbh. Also in my mind the more kids you have the money you need, whilst the the more kids you have the harder it is to work and earn that money. Also think having too many kids is really hard on your marriage, even after two we hardly have any time for each other

From the other perspective if it helps - I have 3 DSs, which I always wanted as I’m one of 3 so I suppose it’s just what families looked like to me. As a result, I didn’t give the decision to have a third all that much thought. My God it’s hard work, I had no idea. It has pushed me right to the brink mental health wise, in a way that having 2 never did. I’m sure it will be great when they’re older, but I feel there’s been quite a cost in terms of family harmony. I had them quite close together so that didn’t help, and obviously I love each of them fiercely, but it really was a huge transition compared to having 2. Hope that helps!

I only have 2 because exH didn't want any more and then we split up.
Then by the time late-DH and I got together and were having those discussions his age (and mine but he was 14 years older) was the deciding factor in not having another.

Age
Finances

After 7 pregnancies. Couldn't take it anymore.

Having read the thread about the woman with 6 kids and the environmental arguments on there, I’m now persuaded that two is enough for us. I’d never even considered having children as having an environmental impact and the state of our environment really does worry me for my children’s future.

I just potty trained no 2. I don’t think I have the mental stamina to do that for a 3rd time

Both of ours were blooming difficult babies. One had health complications, while the second was just a totally lovable attention freak (and still is). We were just 35 and utterly exhausted. We had a very frank discussion complete with tears from both of us when we discussed the options that might arise if I found myself pregnant.
Six weeks later he had a vasectomy. That was 15 years ago, and we have never looked back. It was the right decision for us, having both a teenage girl and a menopausal mum in the same house has been hard. If I had youngers to deal with, well, I dread to think!
But we were very very sure. And the decision wasn't based on any other factors such as housing, finances.
When we met at 17, we used to have dreamy conversations about having 4 children!

Because two children should really be enough for anyone. I had a friend who now has 7 children, it is ridiculous, the children don't get enough attention, their house is too small, they really don't have the money, she is even talking about yet another child in 2 years or so, madness

I felt done after dd2 was born. So that was the main reason. I just had this overwhelming feeling 'my family is complete' and dh felt the same.

There are other practical reasons but we could have overcome them if we had the desire for a third.

I don't think there is any perfect number but you're lucky if you get the number you want.

Didn't stop, number 3 due soon. After having dc2, people kept asking whether I felt done and I realised I didn't, in fact knew pretty soon after #2 that I really wanted a third. In for a penny, in for a pound! Fully expecting the early years to be difficult and very tiring as they are all close in age, hoping this pays of in the long run. Very happy to have been able to have 3.

Reasons to stop at two...

1. We had a girl then a boy
2. They have each other as siblings
3. We can't afford the additional cost of a third. A third child is not just the little bit extra that comes with a second. It's a different car, it's different types of holidays, it's schooling and university costs,
4. I always want my kids to stay the age they are now, 4+. I can't go back to nappies, sleepless nights, my mobility being limited by a small baby.
5. I don't want any more baby showers, pregnancy conversations, interaction with family members on the topic. Less is more.
6. I want to spend more time, not less, with my husband and two children
7. I want to be able to spend more time on myself than I do giving it to others. I'm done.

But...I did make lovely kids...so I always still take a second glance when I see a newborn. Then I slap myself!

Because I had to have a TMFR for my last pregnancy at 17w and after multiple miscarriages and prem births I couldn't go though another pregnancy. I'd have loved another one 😞

I have two, one of each.

If I had another one, I would have to move house and buy a new car.

Both DH and I thought we could give a good life to two and any more we would struggle.

Because we definitely didn't want more than 2.

We wanted three but stopped at two because of a hereditary health condition I have, nothing particularly serious but being pregnant the second time exacerbated it.

Ds didn't sleep til he was 3.5. Dd was the toddler from hell which started just after I fell pregnant with Ds.

I would have loved and welcomed more children. But it never happened. DH had a vasectomy when Ds was 5 as I had my career back and we were content.

Finances

My career, which has already taken a hit with 2 maternity leaves and all the sleepless nights

There is only one of me and I am stretched thin already.

My eldest struggles enormously with jealously and sharing his parents with another emotionally needy sibling. Another would utterly break him.