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Original poster

Why did you stop at two children?

218 replies

TwinklyGiraffe · 22/11/2017 21:52

And did you definitely feel ‘done?’

I’m not done, but due to circumstances there won’t be any more children!

Would love to hear positive things about having 2!

I know it doesn’t matter how many children other people have but most people I know have 3!

I’ve a boy and a girl if it’s relevant!

OP posts:
notfromstepford · 23/11/2017 12:24

Have 2 boys and I'm done due to various things
Money - just can't afford childcare costs for anymore

Age - took 10 years TTC to have the first, so older than I wanted to be also not great at the whole pregnancy thing and had 2 prem babies so thanking my luck stars I managed it twice and don't want to push my luck any further.

Middle child - I am a middle child and it was awful. I always wanted either 2 or 4

Having said that I'm as broody AF! Sure it's my biological clock ticking very loudly, but it's not going to happen and I'm very happy having 2 boys - they're brilliant.

Thinking of getting a dog now Grin

Swizzlesticks23 · 23/11/2017 12:26

Would love to hear positive things about having 2!

Erm try it's two more than some people can have.

JoandMax · 23/11/2017 12:30

Have 2 lovely boys, we wanted at least another one but it hasn't happened for us. I get the odd moment of feeling sad but we have a great life and my sons fill me with joy so I'm so grateful for them!

MessyBun247 · 23/11/2017 13:48

I just can't think of any good reason to have a 3rd.
I'm the parent I want to be with 2. Having a 3rd I would be spread too thinly, too much stress, too much money, harder to give each child individual attention.
With 3 there always seems to be one left out a bit.

I have 2 girls. 12 yo and 22 months.

Anyone I know with 3+ seems to be living in disorganised chaos a lot of the time. Plus, the bickering Confused No thanks.

HotDamnState · 23/11/2017 13:54

Stopped for many good reasons, involving health, sanity and finances Grin. Mainly, though, I really like our lives as they are, especially now the DC are getting a bit older.

HotDamnState · 23/11/2017 13:55

Oh, and I still get broody, but it passes. I don't find the actual prospect of another child remotely attractive.

tinysparklyshoes · 23/11/2017 14:06

Only one DC here but it is utterly irresponsible/selfish to have more than two

There always has to be someone to say this shite, doesn't there? Plus a few who can't just say why they are happy with two, they have to criticise those of us who have more.

Why? Why would you feel the need to complain about the existence of our children?

Strokethefurrywall · 23/11/2017 14:09

I'm one of 3 and I've always wanted 3. I have 2 boys (6 and 3) and I'm done.
I'll be honest, the minute I gave birth to DS2 I thought to myself "please don't let this be the last time I do this!" - I'm lucky to have breezy pregnancies for the most part, and lovely labors and delivery.
DH only wanted 2 but started to waiver when DS2 was 4 months. But I wasn't ready for a 3rd at that point and said to DH that if we were only going to have 2, I wanted time to process that in my own time.

38 was my cut off for having a 3rd and I just turned 38 in October. I am very happy we stuck with our 2 boys. As much as I have a fantasy of a third child, I don't feel anyone is "missing" - our sons are honestly the best of friends, they're good kids and more to the point, I can split myself equally between them and still have time for myself, my husband, my friends.

I also have my body back, my social life and all the interests I want to follow outside of my remit as "mum". And strangely enough, if I were to find myself pregnant now, my immediate reaction would be "oh fuck" rather than "yay". So that's my answer. We have money, we have a lovely home, we have holidays, we can give our boys a really good life.

I get wistful for the days with my newborns, when I first saw their perfect faces and the hours staring at their tiny little ears - but my God they're such great value at the ages they're at now, they really are and I realised the other day that there is no part of me that's broody.

I love babies, they're cute as all hell and in the past I would have held on to one for ages, entertaining an older baby etc. But now I'm happy to have a quick cuddle and hand it back to parents. I'm so pleased I'm at that point, because the yearning for a baby is a difficult thing to supress.

HottySnanky · 23/11/2017 14:11

I knew I was done whilst I was still pregnant with DD2. She was very much wanted, it's just that I was so ill (pneumonia) whilst I was pregnant with her that I couldn't face the thought of being pregnant again. Plus night feeds, weaning, terrible twos, potty training... twice is enough, thank you. Also money, space, energy, mental resilience, state of marriage, state of pelvis, etc etc. I know DH would have liked a boy but neither of our girls is a disappointment to him and he doesn't want any more either. So yes we are done and we are happy.

Lovestonap · 23/11/2017 14:15

Stopped at two. We have one of each. At the moment they each have their own room and parenting feels manageable. We only just have enough money for a nice life, holidays, activities etc. My career is finally taking off.
Another baby would shaft us financially and put us under too much strain.
I'm not sure I feel done, in fact, if I was to win the lottery the first thing I'd do would be to have another baby. But the stress and financial pressure it would cause would be detrimental to us as a happy family unit.

TossDaily · 23/11/2017 14:18

Because my XH didn't want any more.

I don't feel 'done' but I'm 43 now, so that's that.

It contributed to our divorce.

Lovestonap · 23/11/2017 14:18

Plus, and this is a bit weird. I'm a little superstitious. First pregnancy blood tests high risk of downs syndrome, 2nd pregnancy extremely high risk, I had chorionic villus sampling to test for it, and I just feel that I have pushed my luck with the two happy healthy children I have. If I got a pregnancy that tested positive for downs syndrome I would definitely continue with the pregnancy but I know how life altering that would be for the whole family, so also feels safer not too. I don't mean that to come across wrong -

midnightmisssuki · 23/11/2017 14:23

we can't afford more than two - with two we know we can afford each the best of what we can offer - with three it would be a stretch.

Kellyopio · 23/11/2017 14:36

Two is enough for me and we only have a 3 bed house,want to stay here forever and 2 for me is more than I ever could have wished for.

FergalBurgal · 23/11/2017 14:39

I absolutely feel done after 2. Luckily, so does DH.
I'm surprised at how 'done' I feel to be honest. I was so broody before and after DD that I expected to carry on feeling broody after DS. But it just went away.

We have a spare room, I'm already a SAHP, DS is due to start nursery soon, so if we were to want another now would be a good time. To that I say hell no! Grin

They are both lovely and I'm enjoying seeing them grow up, but there's no way I'd want to go through the baby bit again.
Also I've had 2 lovely pregnancies with zero complications followed by 2 hideous labours. I kind of feel like I'd be pushing my luck with any more.

ElsieDee · 23/11/2017 14:59

Currently pregnant with dd2- if I wasn't sure I only wanted 2 dc's before... I sure am now! Before it would have been purely a financial decision (bigger car, bigger house etc) but I have struggled through every day of this pregnancy and I just do not think my body could cope with another (and I still have the labour and newborn phase to go!!)

mishfish · 23/11/2017 15:04

I’ve got three but wanted to add my two pence-

It was really fucking reckless of us to have her. I think with a third you need everything bigger- bigger home, bigger car, holidays and trips out more expensive. It’s relentless and we are barely scraping by money wise as it’s so expensive to have them in nursery full time so I work from home.

The grass isn’t always greener and whilst I love my third to pieces, if we had been sensible, we wouldn’t have had her (feel awful even typing that)

PugwallsSummer · 23/11/2017 15:21

Because DD1 only started sleeping through the night at 4 years old. DD2 slept through from 4 weeks - I don’t feel I’d be that lucky again! I do t want to risk another sustained period without good-enough sleep.

Similarly DD2 was a lovely easy stress free labour, I’d rather quit while I’m ahead!

Oly5 · 23/11/2017 15:28

I have 3. It’s not chaos. It’s not selfish. Nobody is left out, it’s utterly wonderful! Each to their own

LittleLionMansMummy · 23/11/2017 15:36

Our age (I'm now almost 39, dh is almost 48 and dd is just about to turn 1), finances, practicalities. I enjoy work and we couldn't afford the childcare bill for 3. We're what i would describe as comfortable currently. Dh would have stopped at one so I'm really happy I got my 2nd and while I really didn't care at all when i was pregnant whether i had a boy or a girl, it just feels right that we have one of each. The age gap is nice (6 years) and I wouldn't want to have another close in age to dd. These are all things I tell myself when my ovaries start aching for another Grin My heart won me over before, my head now has to step up and play its part!

Harveypuss · 23/11/2017 15:47

Always wanted two kids, one of each. Consider ourselves very lucky that that's what we got. The minute my son was born, I knew I was "done". I have never once felt broody for any more.

Two kids is logistically easy for us in terms of money, time, space etc. Life suits us as a family "square". Baby and toddler years were hard, as is the usual case, but my now teen DD & DS are very close and I hope they will continue to be close and look out for each other as they venture into adulthood.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 23/11/2017 16:09

We stopped at one. I have rather bad fertility issues and thought one was a fluke anyhow. Glad I only had one though as he has special needs so needs lots of time and attention.

Topaz89 · 23/11/2017 16:19

I have 3 and have no regrets. As they say, it's a magic number! Smile

tinysparklyshoes · 23/11/2017 19:04

It was really fucking reckless of us to have her. I think with a third you need everything bigger- bigger home, bigger car, holidays and trips out more expensive

I don't get this. Three fit perfectly well in any car, you don't need a bigger house either. Days out, holidays etc are only a bit more.

Number 4 is the one you need to buy big for!

WhooooAmI24601 · 23/11/2017 19:11

I stopped at two simply because I couldn't have any more.

I have moments where I hold newborns and feel my womb glow for a moment, but they pass soon enough. As the DCs get older I realise just how lovely our family is; the DCs have each other for company, they're best friends (as well as mortal enemies) and I enjoy their company far more than I enjoyed their baby years; they're lovely personalities to be around. More babies might have meant less time to notice the older ones and I'm not sure I'd have been as good a parent to more.