To show the headteacher this...

[nevertoobigforharibo]

Some of the parents at my child’s school set up a Facebook page for parents of year 6 children to discuss homework/trips/reminders etc. The page is really useful.

Teachers are aware of the page (most year groups have one) and have asked on a recent newsletter that any issues parents may have with regards to class teachers, bullying etc are not discussed and are addressed with the class teacher instead. We all follow these rules.

Today one of the SMSA’s (dinner lady/lunchtime supervisor) at the school posted the following... (I have no idea why she is in the group actually as she doesn’t have a child at the school so she has since been removed from the page)

Post edited by MNHQ so that is is no longer a verbatim account "Dinner lady posted about pupils throwing unwanted food on the floor and their attitude towards her and expecting her to tidy up".

I get the frustration and think the boys involved should be dealt with but I found this really inappropriate.

A couple of parents commented that they felt this was an inappropriate place to post this and the person should go to their manager/headteacher to discuss the incident as she was discussing children (our children!) that she works with. She then replied with ‘I could name the children if I wanted to but haven’t as I want to remain professional.’

I have screenshot her post and comments and mentioned to DP that I’m going to bring it to the headteachers attention but he thinks I should keep out of it.

Any opinions?

You know what op, kudos for checking whether your boy was involved as from experience most parents of kids like this believe that their little angels couldn't have possibly been involved.

In all the years I worked in schools I never saw dinner ladies at inset meetings, staff training, staff meetings etc.

In a lot of cases before things got really strict dinner ladies were in positions in some schools for months before a crb check was even begun.

When Ian Huntley killed my Dad had been working as a supply care taker for the council for two years with no crb

Obviously should be punctuation after killed in that paragraph!

No body said op son is definitely involved. Maybe/maybe not.

There were several posts that assumed he was definitely involved.

I’ve messaged the lady privately asking her to confirm that my DS wasn’t involved (he wasn’t Thank god). She has said she will go to head and ask for some support with the behaviour at lunchtime.

Which is obviously what she should have done yesterday instead of putting it on FB.

Completely wrong. They should be more inclined to listen to all staff at all times. The groundsman at our school is just as valuable as the teacher that has to walk around on the playground with one child. Their roles do not suddenly decrease in value according to what setting they happen to be in at the time

It's not completely wrong. All staff are equally valuable, yes. But equally knowledgeable and important in all settings? No. I have no idea of what is being served for lunch today and where the catering staff want the children to sit or clear away to. I don't know what the wind speed is and whether there are any trees with dangerous branches than need to be avoided or anything like that. In the dining hall and the grounds, I am not and should not be as important as the staff in charge of those areas.

Obviously should be punctuation after killed in that paragraph

-punctuation saves lives!

Op seemed to change her tune after first few replies.

Op seemed to change her tune after first few replies.

And that's a good thing, and one which I think the OP should be given credit for! This is one case where an AIBU thread has put something into perspective for the person who posted it.

OP - I really like the idea of your DC making a card for the woman who was so upset. Things like that do make a difference. (I mean, so will the school tackling the bad behaviour, but just the fact that she's being listened to helps.)

‘And that's a good thing, and one which I think the OP should be given credit for! This is one case where an AIBU thread has put something into perspective for the person who posted it.’

Agree entirely

*“Had a fantastic day at work today. The year 6 boys noticed some food had been dropped on the floor and offered to clean it up without being asked.”

I’m sure that wouldn’t have been reported to the head for inappropriate use of Facebook! Much more likely to have comments from parents saying “yes my DC is an angel!”

I think it’s not so much the Facebook side of it that’s the problem, but the dinner lady pointing out that not all children are perfect!*

That would be inappropriate too. Being nice doesn't make it any less so.

For those saying they never see midday supervisors at training, i'm sure Ofsted would be very interested to know your midday supervisors aren't doing the necessary safeguarding training if you genuinely believe that they don't do any!

Unless it's your children then I'd stay out of it. Someone else in the group is probably involved enough to go to the head teacher, I just think it's not really appropriate as it might leave her jobless and then you'll feel responsible x

But equally knowledgeable and important in all settings? No

Implying some staff aren't equally important is part of the problem. That's why there's this scenario in the OP and whilst the class bully in our school said to a lunchtime supervisor (after they'd beat someone up as you do ) "you can't tell me what to do, you're just a dinner lady".

I have no idea of what is being served for lunch today

I have met our cook once, we all get emailed menus every term as to what the DCs are having on a weekly basis.

A lot of it appears to be down to lack of communication between the parents and staff.

In every school I’ve worked in the midday meals staff have their own meetings every week or fortnight and they attend while school training on safeguarding.

I go on all relevant training.

Implying some staff aren't equally important is part of the problem

This is so true!! It’s all very well looking down at the dinner ladies/staff and the cleaners, but I’d like to see a school run without them! When DS1s school amalgamated with another they sacked all the dinner staff and the janitor from his old school and we were devastated, because they were bloody brilliant. 18 months on and it’s still not the same without them!

Totally @notreallyarsed. Our groundsperson is literally the only one that could calm DS down once during a spectacular bad meltdown. (ASD). All the kids think said person is as ace as I do.

I'm a head. I'd talk it over with the lady but she didn't name the children so the issue is fairly minor.

I'd be embarrassed that children were behaving like this and would definitely see it as a personal failure.

You sound like a busybody and typically of so many parents nowadays, instead of making sure your children act respectfully, you think that everyone should treat them as delicate little flowers.

@JonSnowsWife that was like the janny in DS1s old school, it was mainstream with a unit for ASD and he had such a wonderful way with all of the kids, he just knew how to calm them down and help them relax. I’ve stayed in touch with him and with the old headteacher, they were such huge losses from that school. This new one preaches inclusion but does nothing about it!

She obviously wanted to get the point across to parents directly so that, you know... they can "parent" their kids.

I don't blame her

It seems the consensus is to support the dinner lady in question. Even a head teacher has expressed support for her. Obviously the next step is for the school to implement this as a whole staff policy - whenever there is a serious behaviour issue, rather than trying to deal with it at the time the member of staff should wait until after school then make a post about it on Facebook. Of course to remain professional the member of staff should not name the children involved, instead they should just outline what happened and when and state what year group the culprits were in and what sex they are. Interested parents/guardians can then message the member of staff during the evening to confirm whether or not their child is lying when they deny being involved.

As long as all parents/guardians study Facebook each evening and question their children if they are potential offenders in any incidents mentioned; the children are honest in their responses/the parents/guardians message the member of staff to find out if their children are involved; and the parents/guardians are willing and able to deal with the issues themselves if they did involve their children; then it will be a foolproof plan.

Implying some staff aren't equally important is part of the problem. That's why there's this scenario in the OP and whilst the class bully in our school said to a lunchtime supervisor (after they'd beat someone up as you do hmm ) "you can't tell me what to do, you're just a dinner lady

It's certainly not me who's saying some staff are more than important than others. I'm saying the opposite - that the equal value of all the staff members in a school is reflected in their special importance in their areas of expertise - teaching, medical, catering, maintenance, administrative etc.

The people who are implying that some staff are less important than others are those saying that catering staff should a) not have to attend essential training, b) not have to be professional because they don't have a profession (wtf), c) be allowed to break basic social media guidelines because they aren't paid much and d) be referred to as lovely ladies, poor dears and dinner ladies.

Weird thread...

OP's opening post : Shall I tell on dinnerlady discuss inappropriate FB post with headteacher?
MN jury: Poor woman...
OP: My DS is making her a card

I think OP did a very swift turnaround there. There was no sympathy shown for the dinner lady in the original post.
OP wanted to complain about her.
Horrible.

Elephunk: you recognise that indignant parents are a huge part of the problem. But why do heads put up with equally disgusting behaviour from the parents? They seem keen to appease the parents. Why can’t they say “well, if you are unhappy with the School I suggest you Find another one that suits your precious Johnnny?”

Why can’t they say “well, if you are unhappy with the School I suggest you Find another one that suits your precious Johnnny?”
Easier said than done.
They can't exclude, can't risk being accused of 'discriminating' and have absolutely NO back up from anywhere when parents start whining to OFSTED.

I just can't stop thinking about the level of crap some of these people (site staff/ lunch staff) are putting up with from pupils and in some cases parents. They get paid minimum wage. Senior leadership team need to step up and defend their staff not to mention sort out the behaviour in their school.

...and take the hit when parents start moaning about how unfair it all is.