To show the headteacher this...

[nevertoobigforharibo]

Some of the parents at my child’s school set up a Facebook page for parents of year 6 children to discuss homework/trips/reminders etc. The page is really useful.

Teachers are aware of the page (most year groups have one) and have asked on a recent newsletter that any issues parents may have with regards to class teachers, bullying etc are not discussed and are addressed with the class teacher instead. We all follow these rules.

Today one of the SMSA’s (dinner lady/lunchtime supervisor) at the school posted the following... (I have no idea why she is in the group actually as she doesn’t have a child at the school so she has since been removed from the page)

Post edited by MNHQ so that is is no longer a verbatim account "Dinner lady posted about pupils throwing unwanted food on the floor and their attitude towards her and expecting her to tidy up".

I get the frustration and think the boys involved should be dealt with but I found this really inappropriate.

A couple of parents commented that they felt this was an inappropriate place to post this and the person should go to their manager/headteacher to discuss the incident as she was discussing children (our children!) that she works with. She then replied with ‘I could name the children if I wanted to but haven’t as I want to remain professional.’

I have screenshot her post and comments and mentioned to DP that I’m going to bring it to the headteachers attention but he thinks I should keep out of it.

Any opinions?

Like a good MNer I am fuming that the midday posted this.

Because it should not have been her having to do so, it should have been the head posting it as part of a general message to all parents that should their children repeat that appalling behaviour then they will be required to make alternative arrangements for lunch off site.

"Whilst I have sympathy for her if any member of staff at my husband's school friended or joined a parents group they would be disciplined. "

They are on £2,500/year.

The amount of fucks it is possible to give is severely limited.

My only concern in this situation would be if my child had been one of the little entitled darlings to have done this.

If I found out that they had I would be making them apologise.

One of our local schools posted something like this online because they were sick of telling parents about this kind of behaviour and parents doing nothing. Therefore they shamed them.

Poor woman has had enough, the kids sound like little shits tbh.
I'm sure some of the parents on the page were parents of those dropping their food and laughing.

I'd be talking to my child about it and making sure they weren't one of the dc responsible.
I'd be talking about being kind and responsible and not copying bad behaviour from others.

And the boys concerned will also get the satisfaction of knowing some poor sod will get sacked just before Christmas. Lols all round for them I suspect

The head should have posted it publicly on schools social media Imo.

I'd be so ashamed to think I'd raised my sons to have so little respect. You're "only" a dinner lady? I'm sure she's much more than that, not forgetting she's someone's mum, sister, daughter, wife, friend. She may have made a mistake sending the message on there but she was probably really fed up and pissed off. Poor woman.

In our school, I think the head would give the year 6 boys a bollocking if this was reproted. I hope she would take it serioulsy, as I think it reflects on theschool in many ways.

I do think she was bang out of order posting it on the parents facebook page. Totally unprofessional and would break quite a few of our schools rules around social media.
So, yes, our head would want to see it, and the member of staff would definitely get reprimanded.

BUT I have huge sympathy with her, and it think it actually doesn't hurt the year 6 parents to see this straight from the horse's mouth version of their children's behavour. I hope they all talk to their kids about behaviour.

This is going to get back to the head one way or the other - schools do keep an eye on facebook. I hope that the woman deletes her ill-advised vent before somebody takes a screen shot.

Please keep out of it OP, nothing is going to be achieved by going to the head.

I'm a midday supervisor, although outside on the playground.
The lovely ladies inside wouldn't be on their hands and knees picking up rubbish which has been purposely thrown on the floor. The boys would be given a long handled dustpan and brush and they would be sweeping their rubbish up themselves.

Totally inappropriate and not excused by the fact she's had a rough day or whatever. If the SLT aren't supporting the lunchtime supervisors in preventing this behaviour, she needs to take it higher. Not moan on fb to the kids parents.

This behaviour is common in schools and rarely taken seriously by SLT. I imagine this poor lady has taken it to the head before and been ignored. In secondary school we rarely have dinner ladies - teachers are asked to cover as a duty. Against union rules but allowable because you are given a 'free lunch'. The general principle is then you go around the dinner hall with a bin 'encouraging' students to put their rubbish in it because of course they can't do it themselves. Outside you are asked to pick up litter with litter pickers because students can't put rubbish in bins. Both of these are marketed as demonstrating good practice to students which in reality leads them to expect us to wipe their arses for them. I now refuse to do this. I have also had to argue to get a boy excluded from my form because he thought it was appropriate to throw food around and not pick it up as it was the cleaners job. ANY student involved in such behaviour - initially parents argue their child would never do such a thing until confronted with evidence. Disgusting behaviour showing a lack of respect hard working dinner ladies and cleaners, where does that behavior come from parents or peers? My cleaner who is also a dinner lady told me she had to go to the foodbank in October as they changed paydate and she didn't get paid for 6 weeks rather than 4 - and they have to put up with this lack of respect from children? Really makes me sad.

Fair fucks to her. And she went straight to the source of the problem, the parents who have no clue what assholes their boys are.

I suspect the calls of 'inappropriateness' are hugely based on the level of defensiveness some particular parents are feeling right now.

The issue here is not the dinner lady, but the children she has mentioned. This post is all that's wrong with modern day parenting! Instead of running to the headteacher at how you have been 'offended' about the inappropriate place she has voiced her frustrations, support her in her efforts to get the children to be more appreciative and respectful to the dinner ladies.

She shouldn't have posted and if reported she will be disciplined.

However as a primary school lunchtime supervisor myself I have nothing but sympathy for her. Many times I have wished that parents could see just how disgusting the behaviour of some children is. I don't know what gets into them but I'm certain they don't behave like it at mealtimes at home, the noise, rudeness and inability to eat with any sense of decurum is baffling. More than once I've been on the verge of quitting due to the disrespectful and entitled behaviour.
And if her head is anything like ours then they they are as supportive of lunchtime staff as a tent in a tornado.

A couple of parents commented that they felt this was an inappropriate place to post this and the person should go to their manager/headteacher to discuss the incident as she was discussing children (our children!) that she works with

So a staff member out of desperation puts something on a closed facebook group and some parents response is to tell the HT?

Your DH is right OP. Stay out of it.

I find it concerning that instead of directing your (and I mean all of you on the Facebook group) attention to your own children, who may have been treating a downtrodden, badly-paid woman like shit - the primary concern is whether or not it was an "appropriate" place to post it.

Priorities?

Very sad situation indeed.

YABVU
Poor woman, hope she doesn’t lose her job.

What's higher than SLT? In a primary school I imagine she's been to the Head. Who's next? Governors? really?

At least as a teacher I can moan to parents by email or phone. Of course I wouldn't do it on facebook but I can't imagine this lady would be congratulated for contacting parents directly.

suspect the calls of 'inappropriateness' are hugely based on the level of defensiveness some particular parents are feeling right now

No. It's because I'm a lunch time supervisor and it IS inappropriate. The SLT need to support the midday supervisors. Any child acting like this in the school I work at would be expected to clean up the mess themselves and any constant poor behaviour would be reported to their teacher, who would deal with it and would support us in any action we were able to take to deal with it. If the SLT don't support their midday supervisors it's an issue that needs to be dealt with by going further up the chain. Chances are it won't just be midday supervisors who aren't well supported.

If you feel so sorry for her and want to support her, why have you removed on of her platforms for addressing issues with you and other parents by removing her from the fb group? I’d want her to stay so she can keep us all up to date as to how our little darlings are behaving!

I’m a dinner lady, it’s so hard mentally and physically. I’ve had a few kids being rude but what she has described is disgraceful. Poor woman.

If I were the parent of a y6 I would be having strong words with my child. That is disgraceful behaviour and attitude. If my child had been involved I would be expecting them to apologise to the lady and buy them something to make up for it. I think that far outweighs any issue of them posting on the facebook page.

THIS ^

If my child was rude to anyone - especially to someone in a service industry who has very little authority even to defend themselves verbally - I would be horrified and would make the little wretch apologise and make amends.

It may or may not have been the wrong place to post, but perhaps it was the only way she could make the feelings of her colleagues and herself know.

Those boys need a rollicking

Woodlands, I think we work at the same school! (Not really, I think they are nearly all like that these days and parents haven’t got a clue what Staff have to put up with)

The dinner lady was not really using an appropriate channel of communication and as such will probably get warned not to do it again. If she is sacked thst’s outrageous, it sounds like she is at the end of her tether and I can guess that she has minimal support from SLT, or else why would the kids be behaving like that?

Feral behaviour from children in our schools is on the increase. And yes, feral IS the right word. It’s beyond anything that parents can imagine. Behaviour and lack of respect for authority is that reason I’m getting out of secondary education after 8 years. it will only get worse as equally feral parents back up their kids and not the school. Parents shouting and screaming in the head’s face and police getting called?

What on EARTH is this world coming to? No wonder our education system is dying on its arse. No-one would want to take the abuse. And why should they? Good on the lunchtime supervisor for highlighting this unspoken issue. You can bet the headteacher will never inform parents about such poor daily-occurring behaviour as they will be too scared of the school’s reputation going downhill or Ofsted finding out. They will be trying to brush it under the carpet. (No pun intended!)

Parents and school staff MUST work together for any standards to be maintained in schools at all. If that means parents facing some very unsavoury Home truths about the “out of character” behaviour of their little darlings then so be it. They should not be arguing back about it.

If I knew the Head well and knew they were nice then I would raise it with them and say they need to address to behaviour of the boys and stop the dinner time staff needing to clear up after them. If I wasn't sure they would do that I wouldn't say anything.

I would say it would be nice though if the kids / staff could do a card for the dinner ladies with a collection to show that they are appreciated by the majority at least. With it being close to Christmas you could give it then.

Keep out of it. The poor dinner lady. I’d tear my son a new one if he treated a member of School staff this way, how it’s brought to parents’ attention is really not the issue here