To show the headteacher this...

[nevertoobigforharibo]

Some of the parents at my child’s school set up a Facebook page for parents of year 6 children to discuss homework/trips/reminders etc. The page is really useful.

Teachers are aware of the page (most year groups have one) and have asked on a recent newsletter that any issues parents may have with regards to class teachers, bullying etc are not discussed and are addressed with the class teacher instead. We all follow these rules.

Today one of the SMSA’s (dinner lady/lunchtime supervisor) at the school posted the following... (I have no idea why she is in the group actually as she doesn’t have a child at the school so she has since been removed from the page)

Post edited by MNHQ so that is is no longer a verbatim account "Dinner lady posted about pupils throwing unwanted food on the floor and their attitude towards her and expecting her to tidy up".

I get the frustration and think the boys involved should be dealt with but I found this really inappropriate.

A couple of parents commented that they felt this was an inappropriate place to post this and the person should go to their manager/headteacher to discuss the incident as she was discussing children (our children!) that she works with. She then replied with ‘I could name the children if I wanted to but haven’t as I want to remain professional.’

I have screenshot her post and comments and mentioned to DP that I’m going to bring it to the headteachers attention but he thinks I should keep out of it.

Any opinions?

I've been a staff member who has witnessed incidents like this.
No SLT do not take it seriously and no, primary children do not tell the truth when caught.
I feel so bad for this poor woman. She was treated like rubbish. I would be going in to school and asking what they were going to do to,address behaviour at lunch and respect from the children. Not looking to crucify the woman. She didn't name your children.

It does seem very weird OP that you are more concerned this was discussed on Facebook than the misbehaviour of your ds and his peers. Perhaps it's time for you to reset your moral compass?

Poor woman. Shitty kids. Of course your DDDS is unaware of any incidents. She mentioned no names, told the correct group of parents about their children’s vile, arrogant behaviour and wants to quit. Some schools really struggle to recruit MDMS, and behaviour is often a key reason why. I’d make Y6 responsible for clearing the hall as part of a holistic approach to school life. Like in Japan.

OP, if the dinner lady is so desperate that she is writing this on the Facebook page, yet your DS isn't aware of any incidents at lunchtime I would wonder if my child was hiding something. How likely is it she would write this if it didn't happen. Put her job at risk? Receive complaints and anger from parents? Yet your son is in the room and sees Nothing? I'm not accusing your DS but he knows more than he's letting on.

Also, I don't understand when it became 'professional' to hide the bad behaviour of children from their parents. If my kids did this I would want to know 100%.

Do you really think the woman should take the abuse of 10 year olds, clean their mess on her hands and knees and then stay 'professional' / silent?

@Urubu Yes that’s true but I’d like to think he’d be honest with me. The dinner lady has since said it happened in the packed lunch area and luckily my DS had school dinners (different halls) so I can believe him on this one!

Professional-that's a good one. Do take it to the headmaster. Clearly he needs a chat with both the year six boys and the dinner ladies.

Stay well out of it! This poor woman sounds ready to leave. They are paid so little but can make a real difference in the playground. We should all appreciate the hard work they do and hope they arrive at work happy and raring to look after our children. Please do not report this. She didn't name any children.

Also just to clarify a parent asked her if it was ‘all the year 6 boys’ as she’d stated but she’s clarified it wasn’t ‘all’ of them as in the whole of the year and it was a group of about 10.

What's wrong with her making parents aware of how foul their kids were? What's 'inappropriate' about it? She hasn't named any names...she's describing what happened to the people whose business it is.

Since when did we all become so precious we can't be told the truth about our kids?

Yabu. Perhaps she's complained about it to her manager before and nothing happened? Parents need to be told the truth about how their children behave, poor woman .

Surely if she knows who the boys were she needs to tell the head? Or is she frustrated that she has told her and it isn't being acted on?

One can only dream of the fine, upstanding young men they will become in a few years, and how they will treat the women in their lives.

I’ve also had a chat with my DS about respect and told him how upset the dinner lady is about the incident at lunch time today. He wants to make her a card.

I feel really sorry for and I can understand why she posted it. It’s more the fact that the parents of the page follow the rules set by the head and a member of her staff has come on and discussed an issue which she should be addressing to the head.

I hope the boys involved get a suitable punishment. As others have said it will probably get to taken to the head anyway by someone so I will leave it. Now a part of me wants to go to her and let her know the frustration the poor lady must be feeling and she clearly needs some support.

I’m going to let my DS make her a card like he wanted to and it will hopefully make her feel that she does do a worthwhile job and is appreciated at least by some of the children.

No please do not report this. And plz post on the fb page for no one else to either. The poor woman.
If anything i think all the parents of these yr6 children need to discuss how to talk and make your children understand how awful they have acted towards the dinner ladies. teach them a bit of respect.
Btw no yr 6 boy is going to admitt it or give names but every sinlge one of them needs to be told how wrong it is what has happenned.

I suspect she has reported this through the proper channels, and nothing has changed. So is now trying this way to change things.

That any parent's first thought on reading that would be 'well, I think I should complain about this woman' is so dismal. It's a relatively polite, heartfelt and factual account of some appalling behaviour. (Factual as in she focuses on specific examples, rather than just vaguely alluding to general awfulness.)

The stuff she's mentioned would mortify me if I had a kid in that year. It's not just high spirits or carelessness: it's arrogance, disrespect, and a clear sense that they're socially superior to an adult who's paid to help them.

It's a textbook case of spoiled, entitled behaviour: chucking food and rubbish on the floor, laughing at someone cleaning it up, telling them 'you're only a dinner lady'.

Any parent on that group whose response to this is self-interested outrage is probably part of the problem. She didn't name and shame. She brought a problem to your awareness. I can't believe the response wasn't sympathy, concern and a discussion about how to avoid this happening again.

I hope she somehow gets to see this thread. Been removed from a fb page by parents just because she told them how their children were behaving must have made her feel like she is in the wrong.

I have been lunch time support and can confirm that a lot of kids view us as shit on their shoe and talk to us accordingly.

I have also been regularly at the end of my tether over behaviour and nothing is done as the teachers just don't have the time to deal with it.

It's only about 10 boys, yet several posters are certain the OP's son is involved. Do you know the OP and her son in real life?

"Any parent on that group whose response to this is self-interested outrage is probably part of the problem."

Ohhhh yes.

A couple of parents commented that they felt this was an inappropriate place to post this and the person should go to their manager/headteacher to discuss the incident as she was discussing children (our children!) that she works with

Bullshit. This woman has been treated like shit by a load of snotty entitled kids and your first instinct is to go to the Head? Maybe the parents of the boys involved should be less outraged at it being posted and more fucking outraged at the brats they’ve raised! I’d be absolutely horrified if any of mine treated someone so disrespectfully and I’d have asked outright if it was one of mine and assured her it would never happen again, followed by an apology and some form of making it up to her from the child involved!

No body said op son is definitely involved. Maybe/maybe not. I now see op has said her son wasnt in the hall concerned.
But it has to be addressed with ALL of these children.

Having seen the mess that children make at lunchtime - often deliberately, but also because they have not been taught to eat properly - I have every sympathy for the dinner lady.

How many of us would like to be treated with utter contempt by children for a minimum wage?

The children need to be made to clear up the mess - no playing outside until the floor is clean.

Keep out of it. She doesn't get a chance to discuss it with parents elsewhere.

I'd be messaging her to check it wasn't my DS.

@Tsundoku She has had lots of apologies and sympathy from the parents on the page- not one negative comment which I’m glad about. This is just me thinking that she’s not ‘following the rules’ set by the head which actually isn’t really the issue here. Poor woman. I would be absolutely appalled and ashamed if my DS had anything to do with it.
Luckily I can believe him when he says he knows nothing about it as it happened in a different hall to where he was.