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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To exclude some guests from part of DDs birthday celebration?

214 replies

RogerThatOver · 05/11/2017 22:40

DD wants to have a laser tag party for her birthday and there's a minimum of ten children that you have to pay for. I'd like to surprise her with a limo trip there but obviously not everyone can fit in. The limo I'm looking at booking would fit me, her, two of her siblings and three best friends in. I was thinking of having the three best friends over for a sleepover the night before and meeting the other guests at laser tag. But is it unreasonable to exclude some guests in this way do you think?

OP posts:
JigglyTuff · 08/11/2017 17:42

I’m 52 and I would be seriously reevaluating a friendship if someone was this ill- mannered. Even if I were one of the chosen few

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea · 08/11/2017 18:34

& part of being a guest at a birthday party is understanding that on this occasion it’s about the birthday girl/boy & not you

No, its still always a bit about you. But hey, if you want to teach your kids that its ok to get treated badly and have people be nasty to you because it's all about them, and that its entitled to expect basic manners, go ahead. I hope you don't have girls thouhg.

RockinHippy · 08/11/2017 18:54

Funny that HB I have a very feisty, very well rounded teenage girl, so my teaching her that others choices don’t reflect on her & no need for it to upset her, clearly didn’t work out as badly as you projected, but hey ho, you carry on in your little bubble bringing up your over sensitive, entitled princess 😘

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea · 08/11/2017 19:06

Feisty is the teen word for "spirited", isn't it?

RockinHippy · 08/11/2017 19:09

Oh dear, did you need to look that up 😂

Nope, it’s the cranky old northerners word for, isn’t the push over you presume my parenting skills would have had her turn out to be 🙄

ChocolateDoll · 08/11/2017 19:12

I have to say RockinHippy, in a fight between you and hotbutteredctumpets, I think I know whose friend I'd rather be.

You're not coming across too well.

Iamahppy · 08/11/2017 19:16

Think I have discovered where bridezillas come from :) they are the children who were told their parties were all about them and manners don't matter because it teaches their minions friends resilience

RockinHippy · 08/11/2017 19:21

That’s fine by me, I’m not exactly looking for friends, nor do I care about coming across well. I’m just getting a little miffed by how things have been twisted into something they don’t need to be on this thread. Plus the huge unfounded assumptions about the parenting & DCs of anyone who dares to disagree. You’ve got to admit it’s pretty bloody silly to leap to such conclusions from so little

SierraFerrara · 08/11/2017 19:24

It's mean for those who aren't invited for both parts.
Just do the sleepover/limo anotger day.

GetYourRosariesOffMyOvaries · 08/11/2017 19:29

Cringing at this idea

JigglyTuff · 08/11/2017 19:31

"Plus the huge unfounded assumptions about the parenting & DCs of anyone who dares to disagree."

Oh, the irony Hmm

hotbutteredcrumpetsandtea · 08/11/2017 19:40

That’s fine by me, I’m not exactly looking for friends, nor do I care about coming across well

Clearly. And with your attitude, I'd wouldn't worry about gaining any, it's not going to be a problem.

MenstrualCycleDisplayTeam · 08/11/2017 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

RockinHippy · 08/11/2017 21:03

You’re way off the mark if you are calling troll menstrual, at least I’m definitely no sock puppet, I’ve been here a very long time & I’m guessing the OP got frightened off by the presumptuous ott speculation.

I personally don’t find it indefensible either, though my point has also been misconstrued several times over. I will try one more time though & then like the OP I’m out.

IF the OP was talking about the majority of the kids riding in the limo etc & a very small group being left out, then I would actually agree with you all, but they aren’t. The minority of the DCs get the extra party treat. The majority get to go to the laser park or whatever.

In my experience, unless there is bullying involved, which isn’t suggested here. Then DCs actually tend to take stuff like this very much in their stride, (mine certainly has when it’s happened to her). It’s only when parents blow it up about of all proportion & to be all unfair & how awful of the party girl & the DPs to leave you out around their own DCs, that the invitees pick up on that vibe & become upset by it. If DPs are laid back by the lack of full invite & understanding of the reasons why that happens & it’s absolutely nothing to do with their DCs friendship or selves (we don’t all have bottomless pockets & fleets of limos). Then DCs take it in their strides & it’s a non issue. Simple really.

I also agree that limos are tacky as hell, I bet the OP probably does too, but girls this sort of age love tack, the tackier the better & it’s about them, not the adults. I would bet some of the DCs aren’t actually bothered about the limo either, I remember mine thought it silly as it just rode around in circles, so she was unimpressed by the car itself & didn’t see the point, so she was happy to miss out.

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