To exclude some guests from part of DDs birthday celebration?

[RogerThatOver]

DD wants to have a laser tag party for her birthday and there's a minimum of ten children that you have to pay for. I'd like to surprise her with a limo trip there but obviously not everyone can fit in. The limo I'm looking at booking would fit me, her, two of her siblings and three best friends in. I was thinking of having the three best friends over for a sleepover the night before and meeting the other guests at laser tag. But is it unreasonable to exclude some guests in this way do you think?

No way! I wouldn't even let dd have a sleepover the night before or after her party as we couldn't fit all the guests. She had a separate sleepover with just a few of them a few weeks later.
No way would I rock up with some guests in a limousine. Really thoughtless.

Ugh don't do it. Just don't. How could you ever think this was a good idea?

And I think most 10 yr olds would be resilient enough to not get overly upset about it but it's still appalling manners.

Yes, unreasonable and unnecessary. Don't do it.

Another echoing literally every other pp here saying no just don't.

Something very similar happened to me as a child and I was in the "second tier" group. We very rapidly drifted apart after that because I knew I was on her periphery and not really a close friend at all.

It's cruel and divisive and your dd might enjoy the limo for the evening but she will more than likely lose genuine friends.

Bad bad idea op.

Bad idea.

No, All or none.
And a Limo that only takes 7 passengers - Thats a Piccasso.

Do it another day or pay for the hire of a larger vehicle.

I wouldn't bother TBH

I get the impulse to add it on as it's cheap but I'm not sure it's worth it. It's also an odd fit with a laser party.
Do it another time.

'And a Limo that only takes 7 passengers - Thats a Piccasso.'

Spat my coffee out

I think it'd be mean and ruin the party for the b list friends.

A Picasso! 😂

She and her friends think limos are cool. So you get her anything she wants?

Limo, laser tag and a sleepover for a 10 year old is bloody ridiculous.

Honestly if DD was in a similar situation as a non limo child she would understand that only a certain number of people fit in it and that she isn't as close to the birthday child as another child. But I appreciate that not all children would be as resilient

What if a friend she thought was a best friend actually invited other friends to the limo and not her? She wouldn't be bothered?

I doubt it.

It's nasty and exclusionary and a good way to ruin a birthday party. It says you can come to my party but you're not good enough for the super fun extra bits like me and select friends.

I expect some parents will did they have other ‘plans’ on day of laser tag so as not to have their kids arrive at the party and realise they weren’t important enough for the real party bits.

Ignoring the fact that it’s a quite mean thing to do to kids, half the party exhausted and over-excitable and the other half upset isn’t conducive to a great party atmosphere.

You shouldn't do it because it is rude and inconsiderate to those who don't make the grade and get the full invitation. Don't try to turn it round on the other children and make out that they lack resilience. They shouldn't need to be resilient because you shouldn't be so rude in the first place.

You are looking for excuses to give yourself and all of your DCs a ride in a limo. Why don't you just do that another time and let your DCs invite one friend each as a treat? There's no need to create a birthday party hierarchy and potentially put strain on your DD's friendships just so you can indulge yourself and your DCs.

Do the limo and sleepover the weekend before or after the party

Why would you want a limo to laser tag??

Well it's pretty much a clean sweep of YABU... so OP, what are you going to do?

I'd do the limo for a separate event with a few people, no angst, no A list and B list. Job done. I'm a big fan of not creating hassle or a fuss when needed and this would have the opposite effect. The lasertag is the event not the limo.

'And a Limo that only takes 7 passengers - Thats a Piccasso.' Best line ever!

Why not do as a previous person said and do the limo at Christmas if she wants her siblings and family. Each child could bring a friend?

Another vote for nooooo !

Sleepover for all or none.

If limo is a 2 way hire why not go family only on the way there and friends only on the way back ?

We went to a party where some of the dc were invited back for a sleepover it went down VERY badly with the other children, whom were all hurt. I would not do the sleepover before or after, it will cause problems trust me.

I did not think very much of the parents for arranging it like that, it is thoughtless and unkind. The children will be talking about it for sure.

AIBU - Whole of Mumsnet says yes you are

But Op still continues to argue why it is ok

Do people really think 10 year olds give a flying fuck if middle aged people think a limo is tacky? Virtually everything kids like is tacky, that's the fun of it!

OP, I would either try and get a bigger limo to try and accommodate all her friends or do it as a separate treat for her with her siblings and best friends another day. It will alienate half the guests at her party