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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To exclude some guests from part of DDs birthday celebration?

214 replies

RogerThatOver · 05/11/2017 22:40

DD wants to have a laser tag party for her birthday and there's a minimum of ten children that you have to pay for. I'd like to surprise her with a limo trip there but obviously not everyone can fit in. The limo I'm looking at booking would fit me, her, two of her siblings and three best friends in. I was thinking of having the three best friends over for a sleepover the night before and meeting the other guests at laser tag. But is it unreasonable to exclude some guests in this way do you think?

OP posts:
Original poster
RogerThatOver · 05/11/2017 23:07

She would want her siblings there. One has additional needs and so needs me there.

OP posts:
Liiinoo · 05/11/2017 23:09

It sounds U to me.

JigglyTuff · 05/11/2017 23:10

No. It's a fucking awful idea. If you want to send your DD and her besties swanning about on a limo, do it another day (although honestly it's really boring)

timeisnotaline · 05/11/2017 23:10

Obviously you want to do it. But it's a bad idea. Why would you even consider an idea that splits guests into special guests and extras? Have the sleepover another night.

AnneEyhtMeyer · 05/11/2017 23:11

It sounds like you've decided this is happening however much of a terrible idea it is.

sizeofalentil · 05/11/2017 23:12

Could you have the limo pick them up from somewhere (maybe school?) another day and take them for a birthday treat/sleepover then?

If the limo was taking them to laser tag they wouldn't have as much time in it than if it was on another day.

I don't think a limo is tacky for a kid at all - they love this sort of thing! It's not like 10-year-olds are known for their worldly sophistication and love of understated cool.

alittlebitoflove · 05/11/2017 23:13

Also I meant the stay over, not the limo. Honestly they’re rather boring, tacky and a waste of money.

MrsOverTheRoad · 05/11/2017 23:14

Not ok OP. It suggests something not very nice. That some of her friends are better than others.

Oldbutstillgotit · 05/11/2017 23:15

I can’t believe you have to ask if this is U- it is a terrible idea.

LEMtheoriginal · 05/11/2017 23:16

Apart from being the height of naff it could will cause friendship issues for your dd. The b listers will be striking your dd off their future invite list for sure.

pinkliquorice · 05/11/2017 23:17

I’ve did similar before for my DD’s 8th birthday but we did It the other way round, we took 15 ice skating and for lunch and then most parents came and picked their DC. Dd and her 3 best friends stayed and were picked up by a limo taken for dinner and a sleepover but the limo was a secret.
I don’t think there is anything that awful about it.

FrayedHem · 05/11/2017 23:17

Would she want the non-limo friends to be upset? Because I'd say that's a very big possibility. Like others have suggested, save it for another occasion.

RebeccaWrongDaily · 05/11/2017 23:18

it's just a car, do peoples ten year olds give a shit about this (unless they are Kardashians?) I have a ten year old DD, she was invited to a limo party, and didn't understand what the party bit about driving round in a car was, i must admit I agree with her.

GabsAlot · 05/11/2017 23:19

gt a bigger limo or dont do it at all

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/11/2017 23:19

But why do YOU and the siblings have to go in the limo? It really is a badly thought out plan and your daughter will find out the hard way.

I accept that you and siblings need to be there but you don't need to go in the limo, do you?

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 05/11/2017 23:19

No. You just can't do it.

Do a limo event on another day. Do a sleepover on another day.

Original poster
RogerThatOver · 05/11/2017 23:26

She would want her siblings in the Limo, Lying.

I don't get the Limo fascination either, but her and her friends think they're cool.

OP posts:
abbidawn · 05/11/2017 23:28

No, don't do it. DD has been excluded in similar ways to this before and it's so hurtful. Plus even if you plan to get there before, one of the other guests could easily be early

alittlebitoflove · 05/11/2017 23:29

Exactly, if her friend think limos are cool too, then of course they’re gonna be even more upset if they’re left out.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/11/2017 23:31

Roger, it's always been 'family hold back' with us and, if you've painted yourself in a bit of a corner here with the limo then it should be the friends in it - or don't extend the invite to all of them. All friends should be in the limo - then anybody else who will fit in it.

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking · 05/11/2017 23:31

Decide on one kind of party or another.

Sleepover with best friends plus limo somewhere to eat

Or

Laser Tag party for more friends.

Sleepover before the party bad idea because a) the sleepover girls may be overly giddy together and you'll end up with a party of two groups and b) they may be too tired to enjoy the laser tag.

Just think how your DD would feel in the B list scenario.

Mittens1969 · 05/11/2017 23:32

I also think it’s not good to have a party that excludes half the guests from an important part of the event. The children will talk about the sleepover and the limo ride and the others will feel crap at not having been included.

But it seems you’re going to do it anyway.

RunningOutOfCharge · 05/11/2017 23:32

No no no

Apart from anything else it’s done to death with proms and had now become a tacky symbol of tack!

alittlebitoflove · 05/11/2017 23:34

Besides, she doesn’t know about it yet I assume as you said it was a surprise for her so I just wouldn’t go along with it. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

GabsAlot · 05/11/2017 23:35

i ca still remembr going to somones birthday as a kid where a few stayd over the night before

it was all in jokes and giggling in the corner about what happnd last night-wasnt fun

just cut down on th friends and do somthing else op its not fair