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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to give up my seat, I am 54, for a child, about 6 yrs old, on the underground?

204 replies

losmn · 31/10/2017 19:01

Sitting on a very busy underground train. 2 ladies and 2 children get on. One child, under 2, in push chair and 'mum' holding second child, 6 ish. Mum then walks in between seats with 6 yr old and asks if someone can please give up seat for her child. Mother nor child seem distressed or unable to stand. Lady in her 60s ish gets up for child, at next stop passenger adjacent to child and lady in her 60s gets off the train so mum and child seat together. No issues whatsoever. In fact are now chatting away happily ??? Comments please.

OP posts:
Original poster
losmn · 31/10/2017 19:03

'Neither mother nor child seem distressed'...

OP posts:
Katedotness1963 · 31/10/2017 19:04

I'd probably give up my seat for a 6 year old. I'm 54. I remember how tired my youngest's legs still got at 6.

Dragongirl10 · 31/10/2017 19:04

Rediculou,s as a child l was taught to stand for adults...any adult...without being told and my 2 Dc age 10 and 11 would automatically do the same.

This mother needs to learn some manners !

GeillisTheWitch · 31/10/2017 19:05

Young children are less likely to be able to hold on to poles etc on a moving vehicle so I don't think the mum was unreasonable to ask politely for a seat.

user1488397844 · 31/10/2017 19:05

Probably worried her child may fall. Of course you dont have to give up your seat but it's the kind thing to do! Never understand these posts, AIBU to think I'm more important than a small child? Err....

Hercules12 · 31/10/2017 19:05

Id give up my seat and not think twice.

HipToBeSquare · 31/10/2017 19:06

Comments? If you're able bodied and just wanted to make point that's a bit shit of you.

MyDcAreMarvel · 31/10/2017 19:07

The so year old may have fallen over.

Aderyn17 · 31/10/2017 19:07

She asked. She didn't get arsey with anyone. Can't see a problem tbh. Kids are more likely to fall over on the tube than adults.

MyDcAreMarvel · 31/10/2017 19:07

*six

SeaSawRocker · 31/10/2017 19:07

I'd give my seat up on a train/bus for a child under 10 as they can't hold on properly even though neither can I as I'm 5ft 1.5 Sad

WillowWeeping · 31/10/2017 19:08

6 years is too young to manage the swinging and stop/start safely ime. Sonny comment is if you allowed a 60 year old woman to give up her seat then if you're able bodied and younger you're a bit crap

SilverSpot · 31/10/2017 19:10

Six year old? No way unless the train is super packed and they are getting jostled or crushed.

Toddler - yes.

SpookghosttiAndMeatboos · 31/10/2017 19:11

I would always put my six year old in the a seat and stand myself - they're only little, holding on has to be a pole, and lots of people are pretty oblivious to kids in my experience - whacking with bags, barging past etc. so I like to keep them out of the way.

Witsender · 31/10/2017 19:11

Depends how busy it was. At 6 mine would be able to hold an upright pole ok for a shortish distance, but would struggle if it was too busy for that as they wouldn't reach anything else. They could hold me of course.

I'd happily give up a seat for a child, but at 6 I can appreciate why some wouldn't.

caffelatte100 · 31/10/2017 19:12

No I wouldn't want to give up my seat for a 6 year old either.

PrincessoftheSea · 31/10/2017 19:13

I would happily give ip my seat for a toddler and also a 6 year old if asked.

BananasAreGood · 31/10/2017 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

formerbabe · 31/10/2017 19:13

Rediculou,s as a child l was taught to stand for adults...any adult...without being told and my 2 Dc age 10 and 11 would automatically do the same

Well that's ridiculous. So your 11 year old would offer their seat on public transport to an able bodied 18 year old would they?!

SingaSong12 · 31/10/2017 19:15

A 6 year old might find it hard to hang on they might have a disability. If you are able bodied and were worried about the other (60s ish) lady giving up her seat you could have offered yours.

I stand if I think someone else needs the seat more than me on that day. a request would have made me more likely to stand up - it’s just a nice thing to do and sometimes I’m asking myself as I have a disability.

BirthdayBeast · 31/10/2017 19:16

No one should be expected to give up their seat for anyone to else unless there is a major obvious reason to do so. However, I don’t understand this mentality that children should be expected to give up their seats for adults, any adult. Why do some people in this country still insist on treating children like second class citizens? Why is an able bodied adult’s need to sit more important than a child’s?

larrygrylls · 31/10/2017 19:16

6 Year olds don't fall over (unless they have a special need or illness)! I always make my 6 and 8 year old stand for any elderly or infirm adult. If a 6 year old cannot hold onto a pole safely, I would question why not (exceptions above applied).

I am amazed at the amount of people who think children UNDER 10 (?!) cannot safely stand on a tube train as it starts and stops. I think at 11 most of my friends and I were travelling around London entirely independently, using tubes and buses.

Children really are overprotected these days.

CatsAreKool · 31/10/2017 19:16

A child of about 6 is much more likely to fall over than you assuming you are able bodied. I think you should have offered your seat

NataliaOsipova · 31/10/2017 19:17

I travel with a six year old. I'd never ask, but am consistently surprised by the number of (usually young men) who jump to their feet and insist she has the seat. Similarly, of someone disabled/elderly/pregnant/with a smaller child got on, I would put her on my knee or ask her to stand for them.

Whoever has the greater need is my motto....

choli · 31/10/2017 19:17

Well that's ridiculous. So your 11 year old would offer their seat on public transport to an able bodied 18 year old would they?!

I remember many years ago when I was 22 I was offered a seat by a boy of around 12. It did make me feel rather old, but I felt obliged to take it because he was so very polite.

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