Not to give up my seat, I am 54, for a child, about 6 yrs old, on the underground?

[losmn]

Sitting on a very busy underground train. 2 ladies and 2 children get on. One child, under 2, in push chair and 'mum' holding second child, 6 ish. Mum then walks in between seats with 6 yr old and asks if someone can please give up seat for her child. Mother nor child seem distressed or unable to stand. Lady in her 60s ish gets up for child, at next stop passenger adjacent to child and lady in her 60s gets off the train so mum and child seat together. No issues whatsoever. In fact are now chatting away happily ??? Comments please.

I have a 5 (nearly 6) year old. I don’t live in London but we visited recently and went on the tube.

I stood him near the doors leaning against the wall of the train holding onto the bar. Wouldn’t have asked for a seat for him?

It depends how used to the tube the child was.

I grew up going on the tube regularly so could happily stand by the time I was about 4 but I took DD up to London over half term, probably 3rd time she's ever been on the tube, she is 9. We had to stand and she fell over, because it had never occurred to me before but she's never stood on a bus or a train (quiet, rural area so plenty of seats) so it was the first time she had ever had to try and balance like that and at 9 it hadn't occurred to me that I needed to tell her how to hold on!

For gods sake. The mother asked because for whatever reason she felt her child would struggle/ needed to sit down. If you don’t agree with her then don’t offer your seat. Really bitchy to come on here criticising her when she’s just asked a simple question.

Some of these responses really remind me why I try not to visit London. Glad to see that people with disabilities are now not allowed to travel at peak times according to dudsville

Sorry dudsville that was rude of me, I can see you may not have meant it like that. I just get upset and frustrated by the fact that invisible disabilities are often assumed not to exist.

My son is 5 but wears age 7-8 clothes. People have always assumed he's older, he would pass for a 6yo when he was only 3.

Yes I would give my seat for a young child. A woman on a train the other day offered my 9 year old dd her seat. But this was in the North. I declined saying she was very kind.

To be fair the last time i was n London with dd a man gave up his seat for us on the tube (we didn't ask) and another one helped me carry my case up the stairs. Again without being asked.

Id prob have offered to let them sit on my knee.there was prob a reason to ask . Might have been tired,recovering from an illness, not got great balance etc.

Yes I’d let a six year old sit down. They are less able to hang on and they’d be safer sitting.

You’re 54 not elderly. Kindness is more important than any strange concept of respect.

Slightly off topic but.... The other thing that has happened - on two separate occasions - when I've been on the train into London with my DDs is that a middle aged man has challenged a group of young men for using bad language while my daughters were in the carriage. In one case, quite aggressively - "There are little girls on this train who do not want to be hearing that. Stop that language!" (They stopped. I would have done too. The middle aged guy was, I suspect, ex military and I wouldn't have recommended anyone mess with him )

I was quite taken aback by that as, on the first occasion I actually hadn't noticed (I'd been chatting to the girls and not listening to the chaps in the seats behind) and on the second hadn't thought my DDs had noticed, so hadn't been worried. I'm actually very assertive, so I would have been okay to tackle it myself had I felt the need, but I did feel incredibly grateful to the two men in question, just for noticing that something wasn't right and stepping in, quite unasked, on behalf of someone else. I wish more people were aware of others around them and how they might be feeling - the world would be a much nicer place and it would be a lot safer for women to travel alone.

6 years are perfectly capable if standing and bounce more so less likely to hurt themselves if they fall and the child could have held on to the push chait
Fwiw i thought children were not entitled to seats on the tube if adults are standing. It was always part of the terms of travel

Haven’t read the whole thread - just wanted to check that the OP hadn’t returned after that peremptory “Comments please” and of course they haven’t...

I’d give my seat to a small child, I’m surprised that people wouldn’t to be honest.

Id give up my seat for elderly/obviously disabled/pregnant mum or one with a young child. My children were taught to do the same from six years old.
I agree with OP who said watch six year olds in the playground and see how well they can swing and hang on to equipment.
If the child was ill or disabled the mother should say so. In any case she should sit him on her lap. Or stand herself. No need for a seat each.

Well op? Any thoughts?

I really think that those who say they would give up their seat to ‘anyone who asked’ are virtue signalling rather than being honest

I think if someone asks a stranger for their seat then they probably need it and as I’m able bodied, I’d stand up.

I'd give/offer my seat to a small child without a second thought - by small child I mean up to about 5, as they're unlikely to be safe standing in a crowded communter environment. With children who look to be between about 5 and 8 I'd be perfectly prepared to give up my seat, though I might not offer. Over that age, then as a general rule I think children should stand if all seats are occupied, but if a parent asked I'd assume they had a good reason for asking and the child had some kind of need that made a seat essential. Yes, I'd wonder whether I was being a mug and giving my seat to an older child who is more capable than I am of standing (I'm in my 50s) but on balance I'd rather be a mug than create difficulties for someone who has needs that might not be obvious to me.

As a young child I was always taught the adults needed the seats and I was to sit on my mum's lap. It seems and still does seem totally logical to me. I wouldn't put my 6yo DS in his own seat on a busy train.

If I could see the mum struggling then I would of course offer my seat for her and her 6yo. If she asked me I'd be less inclined. Seems a bit entitled.

Are you sure the child was 6. My six year old is very slender but he is too big for me to consider carrying. My even more slender not quite five year old is reaching the very end of carrying stage and is only carried at the end of a very long day.

Maybe this child was closer to four?

And at 54 you are really not so old. Don’t crawl into the grave just yet.

There was a child with his dad on my bus yesterday. I would guess about 8 or 9. Bus was full when he got on with people standing. He was clearly very unhappy about this because he spent the whole journey (15 mins or so) whinging and moaning about it very loudly, literally did not stop, and also making rude comments about other passengers being stupid. TO be fair to the dad he did tell him to stop moaning several times and did not ask anyone to give his son a seat.

I did not offer my seat to him as I did not want to reward his attitude and i thought if he physically needed it, his dad would have asked. Everyone else with a seat near where he was standing obviously felt the same as he stood for most of the journey! Feel a bit petty now.

I have a 4 and 5 year old - I wouldn’t expect anyone to move for them!

We get the bus daily and we’ve had to stand a few times! They just cling to me if they need to!

Tube journeys are generally short but stressful. I am fine to stand, even though like another poster too short to reach overhead straps properly.

I don't expect to sit down. If I was so lucky to get a seat, would give it up in an instant to someone who asked. I would offer it to a mother with 6 year old and a buggy even without being asked.

Not sure why it is necessary for seated people to prove themselves to be deserving. Must be the reason why very few people give up their seats to heavily pregnant women.